Can We Have It All?

In this episode of the Red Lips Real Talk Podcast, four Latina hosts from South Florida—Jasmin, Monica, Maritza, and Deibys—delve into the societal and personal meanings of “having it all.” They explore work-life balance, the pressures on mothers, and the evolving nature of success and happiness. The conversation features references to pop culture, such as Sex and the City, and personal anecdotes about family dynamics, health, and career choices. The episode concludes by emphasizing the importance of self-love and adapting to life’s changes.


YouTube TedTalk
Anne-Mari Slaughter: Can we all "have it all"?
https://youtu.be/tH5iEf9oxaI?si=1k9bNgHD1km-phBn


Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it. ~ Maya Angelou.

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Transcript

Hey, chicas. Welcome to Red Lips Real Talk Podcast. I'm Jasmine. I'm Monica. I'm Maritza. And I'm Deibys with a Y, and we are four Latinas from South Florida, bringing you real talk on life, love, and everything in between. Time to get real. Dale. Hello, ladies. Hello, Monica. Hello, everybody. So, how was everyone's weekend? 

It was wonderful because I am no longer constipated. Did you meditate? No. I'm just kidding. But that was gonna help you. I'm just saying. No, it's just, you know why I said that? Cause I remember I said that the last time we talked and I was like, I am embarrassed. And I did it again. It was funny. It's still funny. 

It's still very funny. Everyone's gonna be like, damn, this girl's like, Oh, he's talking about her bowel movements. I won't do that anymore, I promise. You're at that age. Yeah, I won't. It's okay. I It's life. Oh, yeah, girl. It happens. I don't want to talk about that yet. I keep talking about it. So, Deibys, what did you do this weekend? 

My weekend was, uh, pretty eventful. My week was pretty eventful. I was out of town with the family, did a little summer vacation. School's about to start. So we were um, We were in Universal, Islands of Adventure. Uh, did a little city walk. You know, it's right there. How was it in the summer? It was hot. And it's funny because me and my husband haven't been there in the summer. 

Since way before we had kids. Cause we went a couple times with friends and we were like, we will never come back here during the summer. Like, we swore on it. And we've been multiple times now with the kids, but you know, during the fall, the spring, I don't know what got into us. When I bought the tickets, I was talking to my best friend, and I was like, I don't even recognize me and Dennis right now. 

I don't know why we just bought these tickets. Can I say? Anything for the kids. That's right. Can I say? We were, me and Jay were both like, they're insane, Dennis is going to have a heart attack. Well he's hot boy, I call him hot boy. Why do you call him hot boy? Because he's a polar bear, my house is always like on 73 if I let him. 

You call him hot boy or hot bear? Hot boy, because he's a polar bear. I call him a polar bear because he likes it cold. Oh, because instantly I thought of Missy Elliott. Yes! Hot boy! Baby, you've got what I want! Sorry, but I was like He's a hot boy too. Oh! But no, we always joke around, like, that Dennis is always hot. 

He's always hot. He like, he actually would live somewhere else if he could, but I won't let him. He's everything to you, right? Yeah, that's what I was saying. How's Dennis going to do that? Well, we were going to originally go to a spring, but we had to change last minute. So what did you ladies do? I didn't do anything. 

Nothing at all. Those were great though. It was a lazy weekend for me. I had to replace the air conditioner at my condo. It was very hot. It made me question a lot of things in my life. I was sweating in places that you shouldn't sweat. And I don't know, like, if you live in Florida and your AC breaks down, Oh, no. 

That's not a fucking joke. No, it's the end of your life if you're AC. It's the end of your life. If you're not from Florida, July and August in Florida, no. The AC is critical. It's critical. Like, no, it's no joke. Like, if you talk to someone, they're like, my AC broke, they're like, what? If you need to sleep over, you can sleep over. 

If it doesn't get fixed by the, cause it's brutal. It's brutal. It's brutal. You know what I just started watching again? What? Which is great. Sex and the City. That's always a go when I get back on. Yeah, I love it. Me too. Well, right now it's on Netflix. Mm hmm. And I started, like, well, I don't want to say binge watching it, but I started, like, watching the episodes that I really liked the most and, like, the one where they steal Keri's shoes. 

They make her take off her shoes. And she made a really good point. She was like, listen, she made me take off my shoes. Somebody stole my shoes. She doesn't even care that somebody stole my shoes. And she gives me these ugly sneakers to go back home. She never says, Oh, I found your shoes. Or I know who took your shoes. 

Like she, she could wipe her ass with it. I feel like this. She went to a restaurant or something? Where was she going to? No, her friend was having, her friend was having a baby shower or I remember this, but I can't, I don't fully remember. And the girl that was hosting the baby shower. Right. Made everybody take their shoes off. 

Made everybody take their shoes off. And she had Manolo Blahniks. And they were 500. And they jacked her shoes. So the girl that was throwing the party was like, Well, I don't know why I have to pay you back for the shoes because that's your expensive lifestyle. And she's like, Yeah, but you're the one that told me to take off my shoes. 

I wouldn't have taken off my shoes. I agree with Carrie. You know, but it ended in a way that made you think. She was like, Listen, I have been invited to her party. Engagement party her wedding her baby shower birthday. I have spent like two three thousand dollars on this girl. So what about me? I don't get bumpkissed because I'm never gonna get married or having so you know what? 

She registered at Manolo Blahnik's and she's like I'm celebrating me and I'm registered at Manolo Blahnik's And she ended up buying her off the registry and sent her the shoes Good for her. And I was like, good for her. Damn right. 500 blocks. I love Carrie. Yeah, she's my favorite out of all of them. I feel like out of all of them, you can kind of like, you know, have a little bit of each one of them. 

But I think the one I have the least in common with that I can't ever really find myself is Miranda. I'm like, I don't think I, uh, I like Miranda. I like her in the show, but I'm like, no. Really? I don't see myself in Miranda. I don't like what they did. to Miranda on Just Like That, and Just Like That. Oh yeah, I loved Miranda in the original six years that they were on, but I hated what they did to her character on Just Like That. 

That's weird that you say you don't like it, because she was a mom, and she was a corporate you know, lawyer. She was trying to have it all. Yeah. Yeah. She was trying to have it all. She was trying to have it all. Yeah. I mean, they actually had an episode about Can We Have It All on Sex in the City. Do you remember when she, when Carrie used to work at Vogue? 

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I'm trying to remember the episode, but she was having lunch by herself and her ex boss at Vogue walked in and she's like, Oh, let's have lunch together. And they start talking. And after the long conversation, she's like, So what are you doing in this neighborhood? And she's like, Oh, I'm here visiting a man. 

And she's like, Oh, there's a man. And she's like, You can have it all. You have this. Wildly successful career and you have a man it gives me hope, you know, because I want that too And she basically says yeah Carrie It does look like I have it all but I only have it all on the east side because there's someone else on the west Side, so she's like oh shit You know, so she basically told her, you know, that Carrie looked all broken hearted about it, about like, can we have it all? 

And she's like, you have to stop expecting things to look like you think they're going to be, because sometimes you just have to conform. Yeah. You know, so I don't know what having it all means. Everyone's habit all is different. But I think for most people, it's like a career and a family, and it's really hard to have both successfully. 

I think so. It comes at a cost. Well, cause you have people that feel they want to, you know, do family and have kids or what if you don't have a family? You have it all anyway, right? I think having it all is what you think is having the things you think you want to have. Whatever is important to you at the time. 

Your goals that you want to have. And  when you meet those goals, then you feel like I have it all because it's the things that you want. But, um, Jasmine made a good point. Most of the time people feel having it all is having a good career and balancing family life. Life, what they make you believe. Or just even a corporate woman. 

Like it's a destination that you have to reach, but it's not, it's not about that. It's about the journey. Life is about a journey. No, no, completely. I mean, I actually watched a TED Talk over the weekend. Um, I highly recommend for the listener, if you haven't heard of Anne Marie Slaughter, I highly recommend for you to find her TED Talk on YouTube because I watched it and it was literally called Can we have it all? 

I'll link it in the show notes. Oh, I was just going to say that. Yeah. And I'm going to quote her. She basically said here, real equality, full equality does not just mean valuing women on male terms, having equally respected choices for women and men. And that resonated with me because when COVID hit, that was 2020, right? 

March, 2020. Um, I worked in sales and I did a lot of networking, was a very social, like highly social job. And That was one of the first things that stopped. So I had to stay home and I was home for a really long time. And it made me feel like devalued because I was no longer out in the workforce. So I became, for lack of a better word, a full time mom. 

And I'm going to tell you, like, it completely made me change my mind on mothers. and how critical their roles are because I was more available to my two daughters and I stayed home taking care of my family and the first year was a little rough but then I started to see all the things that I was available for. 

All the things that I was able to do for my family that I wasn't able to do before and now I see the benefits of it like the leaps and bounds that my daughters have done. They're like the biggest achievements of my life and I was just so too naive before to realize that I know it sounds weird but I think it took something like that that I had to stop to really see like wow you know the value of whatever you want to call it a housewife a homemaker a caregiver whatever you want to call it what we do at home is so devalued even by women themselves oh she's a housewife oh she stays home sometimes I think women judge other women more about being stay at home mom than men oh yeah and I'm the opposite I want to be home I want to be home so bad with my kids. 

Really? Yeah, I wish I could. Yeah, I mean, well, this is way before COVID, but I was working at a company and I was asked to go to China to lead a group of the art department. You know, just have them teach them and everything that they knew. Um, I had just had my first kid and I had to turn that down. Um, it was an opportunity that I knew in my mind that if I didn't have a husband and if I didn't have a family, I would definitely have jumped on that. 

But of course my family came first at the time and I turned it down. You know, I pitched it to my assistant. He turned me down and I pitched it to whoever was in my department. I found somebody to go to China. But yeah, it was like not a goal, not a dream, but it was an opportunity that I was like, Wow, China, this is great. 

You know, but I absolutely had to turn that down for my family. But I have no regrets at all. I was a work at home mom for a very long time, and then that turned into a stay at home mom eventually. I mean, you know, there's a lot of challenges in it, a lot of obstacles that I had to overcome. It's not easy for everybody to, you know, But I think the obstacles for me were more coming from me. 

Yeah. I think I was the one that was devaluing. Oh. You know, feeding. I don't know why I did that. Exactly. But actually, it was my husband that would tell me, Honey, the girls have never been happier. Mm hmm. Yeah. They're doing so well. They're, they're leaps and bounds with their education. Exactly. Yeah. You know, the house is always clean. 

Yeah. There's always No, honestly, the house is always clean. The laundry is always done. There's a We eat dinner together as a family. We enjoy the weekends. I'm not coming home stressed out. The girls are not stressed out. He goes, did that happen by itself? It's happening because of you. You're doing it. And I really felt like, Oh, wow. 

Like it's you're actually contributing to his success, by the way. Yes. Oh, somebody give her some more wine, please. No, but it's true. I know what I'm talking about. It's true. Absolutely. You absolutely do, as a stay at home mom, contribute to your husband's success. Because I, I even tell my husband that, and he knows it, but I tell him if I was, I want to, all the things you just said is what I want to do. 

I want to be there for my kids, be more taking care of the house, making sure we're all eating healthy, all eating together. So when he gets home from work, he's not stressed about what do we need to do next? Do I got to take this one here? What do we have tomorrow? So it's like he's at work stressing about all the things that need to be done or he comes home, especially like he does labor work. 

So I'm like, I want to take that stress off of him. And I want to take care of my family. Like I want to so badly take care of my family. Like I just want to be there for them all the time. Raise my girls. Like you said, like. Academically everything they're thriving. It's just it's important. It's so maybe red lips real talk can make that happen. 

Oh, I'm hoping All right, that that could be a little goal for us. Yeah, but see that's why I hate that word or that phrase Can we have it all? Yeah, you do because what what does that mean? I do too I to me having it all what for me that's why I say it's different for everybody for me having it all is not having to work nine to five feel that pressure of I you know I I have to balance my my my marriage my my motherhood my personal life with my friends my having it all to me is like Not having to work and be with my family, be that stay at home mom, be a good wife. 

I think I would just be a better woman to people in my life if I didn't have to work all the time where I can do things that I enjoy more like this podcast and those type of things. If I could do that for me, that would be having it all. I would be a much happier person and I in turn I could be better to the people around me. 

For me, other women having it all is like top of their company or their corporate world and Yeah, it's different for everybody. That's what society made it. Right, exactly. Period, end of story. Like for me Because that's not the origin of where that phrase came from. Absolutely. At all. No. Do you know where it came from? 

It came from the, at the time, she was the editor or something, publisher of Cosmopolitan magazine. Oh, I used to read that. And she wrote a book, a memoir, and it was, she didn't want it titled, Can We Have It All? But her publishers titled it, Can We Have It All? But she was talking about coming from the bottom up, being poor and, you know, rising above as a female. 

And it was more about money, love, sex. Nothing to do with children. She mentioned children, not at all. Right. It was, like, non existent. And it was just, like, she even talked about, like, how to perform oral sex properly. Oh, wow. Yeah. When did this article come out? In the 1980s. It wasn't, it was a book. I could see that in the 80s. 

But then they took that and they made it to women can't be working and having kids at the same time. Like, how, how did, where did that come from? Right. And who says you can't do that? Right. Well, I don't know. I just feel like I, well, thanks for sharing that because I really didn't, I have no clue whatsoever, but for me, I always wanted to work and be independent and make money and have a career because I felt like I wanted my daughters to be proud of me. 

I really did. I wanted them to see their mom. Like my mom works. My mom makes money. My mom is. gets dressed up to go to work every day. She looks nice. Like that's in my brain what I wanted to teach my daughters. And then I, like I said, I took her back to 2020, but that is when my world changed. And I was like, I don't give a fuck about that shit no more. 

I just want my daughters to be like, my mom was a wonderful mother. My mom was always there for me. She was always available. She loved me and she did everything to take, like, to protect me and guide me in the right direction. I don't give a fuck if they thought I was a great worker at a company. Right. 

Like, my whole mindset completely changed. Because that's what you needed at the moment and that's what having it all meant to you at that time. At that time. You know, so it's not, it's not that if you are a working woman and you have a high position and then you have a family that you can't have it all, you can definitely have it all. 

In my opinion, though, there's always a priority and there's always one thing that's at the top. And when you do have. like a high position or you're very active in a business and then you have a family, one thing is going to get more attention than the other. And it's not a bad thing. It doesn't mean it's a bad thing. 

Not a bad thing. No, not at all. Your kids could be smaller and maybe you're not giving your job as much attention and then they get older and now they're a little more efficient. So then you can do more for your company or you're able to have help and hire somebody to help you even just clean the house and be a nanny or do those things. 

That alleviates your time to allow you to have more time to do other things that you want. So, I have a question. So, what about people that don't have a family? So, because they don't have a family, they don't have it all? No. No, no, No, not at all. I don't feel that way. No, me either. But that's where that comes I mean, everybody's That's what you're saying. 

Everybody's Right. Because we have it all. It's different for everyone. Exactly. And I think women who decide that they don't want to get married and they don't want to have kids, there's a lot of people judge them like automatically, Oh, she's selfish. Why is she selfish? I think it's more selfish to bring a child into the world that you don't want. 

And you treat that child with animosity or maybe you don't love them. I mean, I think sometimes when women make these decisions and say that they don't want that, they can also be treated very harshly. And that's. It's completely wrong. Oh, yeah. I don't think that's right at all. No. And like you said, having it all could just be having a wonderful career and it doesn't and when you say a wonderful career, it doesn't have to be that you're at the top of a corporate. 

It could be anything. You could run your own business. You can do a podcast. That's, you know, you could do whatever it is you want to do. It's about what fulfills you and what that career is to you. We always throw a career into the corporate world, but that's not always what it's about. That's not what it's about. 

It's just like Monica says, that's what they make it seem like being in the corporate rising to the top, the corporate ladder, you know, either having a family and doing it or just even juggling a well relationship, being in a good marriage and giving attention to your husband or or whatever it is. It's like just being able to juggle multiple major things is like Can you have it all? 

Can you have it all? But at the end of the day, it's like when we get to a certain point, we want more and you continue wanting more. So where does it end with? We have it all. Because when you get to a certain point, that's what I'm saying. We have it all sounds like a destination. So when you get to a certain point, who's to say that you don't want more? 

You know what I mean? And where does that end? I don't want to stop. I don't want to stop. So every time you get to a certain point, you don't have it all because at that point you want more. True. That's what just ends up happening. I don't know because I feel now, like, I just I want peace. I want more peace in my life. 

Oh yeah, well that's exactly what I'm saying when we say we have it all, yeah. I want to be around people that I really want to be around. I want to enjoy more time with my family, more time with my husband. I want to enjoy the simple things that I took for granted when I was younger. But would you consider that having it all? 

Yes. I want to be healthy. I want to grow old healthy. Like if I'm 80 years old and I consider it all. Still, you know, walk very well and, and I'm agile. And that's having it all. Yeah, exactly. And talk to an elderly person that can, that's 90 years old and can still walk and Yeah. And bathe themselves and feed themselves. 

Right. And they're agile and they can drive cars. They're like, man, I have a, I have the best life. Mm-Hmm. . You know, so, like you said, it's different for everyone at some stages. But, you know, we did start with motherhood and working and all that, so that's kind of how it started. But it is a lot of pressure. 

I think it's a lot of pressure, not only just for women, but for Pressure because people judge you. Because, yeah, but we judge ourselves. Yeah, we do. Big time. Yeah. Because I was my, I was the one that was devaluing what I was bringing home because I wasn't working in a corporate world, which was terrible. I hated that. 

I hated that corporate world and the bureaucracies and doing everything. No, thank you. I don't want that anymore. That stage of my life is over. Well, it's like, we, we're always our worst critic, right? Oh, yeah. We can never be It's never enough. Yeah. It's just like, I can't be happy with what I have, for whatever reason. 

Like, I always feel like there's something missing, or I didn't do something right, or I'm a bad mother. Or more. Yeah. Right? It reminds me of, I keep talking about Sex and the City, damn, how many episodes did I watch? I love that show. Somebody's been watching. It was me. But no, but, like, seriously, again, it was, I believe it was Miranda and somebody threw her under the bus at work and we're like, oh, she's showing up to work late all the time and all this stuff. 

And she was like, damn, like, you're, you're not being a girl's girl. Like, you could have looked out for me. Oh, because she had Brady, the baby. right? And then, um, she ends up telling her boss at the meeting where they're throwing her under the bus. And she's like, listen, I, I did have a baby, but I'm kicking ass. 

Like I'm getting the job done, you know, but I did have a baby and it's not like the end of the world. And she says, where I'm failing is at home being a mom. Yeah. She's like, here, I'm kicking ass. But where I'm doing a bad job is at home. But then she said, and she's walking out and she comes back and she goes, and may I remind you that when my mother died, I was back at work on Monday and they didn't, So it's like, you always see where people fall short. 

You understand what I'm saying? People focus more on where you fall short, but it's like, Damn, I'm falling even more short in my personal life, and I'm still showing up here for this job. So cut me a little Like, there needs to be more support at the office. for families, I think, because even if you look at the Netherlands or like those type of countries, yes, they're significantly smaller, but they have a system where they value the family and the home. 

And here it's like you have to beg and plead for PTO time. Yeah. And you know, out there. If you don't, so they provide, um, maternity leave, let's say for, for wives and husbands for the male and the female. If a male decides not to take it, they question, like, why not? Why not? Why wouldn't you want to be there to help your wife and be with your kids? 

Yes, you know. Yes, you know. Here, no. God forbid. God forbid, exactly. In the United States. It's like they don't want to provide, um, maternity leave period, but let alone giving it to a man. Yeah. Forget it. But that's the thing. If as an, as an employee, if you had a job and did that for you, you wouldn't want to leave that job. 

You would give 110%. You would be like, I love this job. Like you would be even more available and more passionate about the job as opposed to saying, I hate being here every day. I just come because I need this paycheck. And if the United States. We're able to just change it. I'm not saying doing a drastic change, but baby steps, you're going to see employee retention, happier employees, and your health care benefits are going to even decrease in the cost because people are overall going to be healthier and happier. 

Yeah, less stress. starts in the home, you know, I believe it does. And it's like, so if you can be more present at home and be more with your family, you have a better home where they're raising better kids. And there's more of a family unit and it just helps everything. The parents are less stressed. The kids are getting the attention that they need. 

You're still having a good job where it's providing your income. It's like, it's just, it's a big circle. It's like, why not give me the support to like be able to be there for my family, take care of my needs or, or even just like you might have a, parent that you need to take care of or you know, somebody in your family that's close to you is ill and you need to take some personal time. 

I mean, the, it goes out to everything, you know, it's like it's family. 80, you brought up, you know, elderly parents. My mom is 84 and um, she, we spent like a Couple months together. She's now at my sister's house. So she floats around like a few months with me, a few months with another sister. Um, but I'm starting to see the decline in my mom and um, something happened at the airport. 

They would the wheelchair service and she got really nervous and just things. I don't want to say what happens. I don't want to embarrass my mother, but just something happened that never happened before. And you start to see the decline in your parents. Health, um, even in their like memory, like I was talking to her about something and she couldn't remember it very well. 

Mm-Hmm. . And I just started thinking about it and I was like, how many people have to go to work and they need to go and help their mom, their aging parents? And they can't. They can't. Right. As simple as taking them to a doctor's appointment, something so simple. And I was talking to one lady 'cause I took my mom to the doctor and , you know, she was an older lady. 

She was completely alone. And she was like, no, my daughter wants to be here, but she can't cause, um, she can't take time off of work. And la viejita estaba sola. She was completely by herself and she had to like, put her bra back on. And I was like, oh, yo la ayudo. I'll help you. You know, and you could tell she was embarrassed, you know, but I was like, no, please let me, you know, let me help you. 

And I just started thinking, I'm sure her daughter feels like shit. I'm sure her daughter right now is like, I want to help my mom. And I gotta be here in this cubicle. And that you can't have a boss that can be like, yeah, you know what, that's your mom, go help her. And bosses need to understand, like, that kindness, you're gonna have an employee. 

It means the world. The world to that employee. Yes, it does. So if you're, if you're an employer and you're listening, think about that. Because a little kindness like that goes a long way. Oh, God forbid you want to take your vacation. Like, really? I have vacation time. Can I take my vacation? No, they want to give you a hard time. 

Well, I have a friend who does, she has a line of work that she does billable hours. And they're like, yeah, you can take the time, your PTO, your vacation time, but make sure the time that you take off, you still have to bill those hours that month. So I don't know how you're going to do it, but do it. How, how is that even legal? 

Like, if you take a two week vacation, okay, and you come back to work, technically, yeah, you got your two weeks off, but you have to make sure that those hours that you billed those two weeks, you still have to make sure you, yeah. You mean the hours that they accumulate? No, it's, it's kind of hard. Like, let's say a paralegal, a paralegal has billable hours. 

Yeah. Right? She has billable hours. She has a certain amount of hours that she needs to bill. Every month. Every month. Every month. Right, right. So, you can take your two week vacation, but just make sure that the hours are still completed. Your 400 hours of bills. That means when you come back to work. I gotta work like triple shifts. 

You gotta work like a freaking beast. And that's not overtime. That's not overtime. And how do you I don't understand that. I think that's so abusive. And it's not the first time I hear something like that. And they always find loopholes to shit people. Oh, yeah. Like, you know, Oh, you're, you're a salaried employee. 

Calling employees on the weekends and on Saturdays and on Friday nights and stuff. I've seen it with my own eyes. And I'm like, it's so, like, that has to stop. Don't answer the phone. Absolutely. Monday through Friday, 8 to 5. Whatever. Don't answer the phone. After that, I'm not available. Know, know your worth and don't let people do that. 

Because you know what? Here's, here's something. that somebody told me and it made me think that like when you quit your job you get you give them a two week notice right because you don't want to leave them like that but when they got to fire your ass you're out that same we've been thinking about that the whole time we've been talking about this that same day today's your last day and you're out the door right and i've never been a job jumper i've always been for old school loyalty and this younger generation they're like no i quit i found myself a twenty thousand dollar raise And I'm like, at first I used to look at that and I'd be like, Oh, that's wrong. 

But I also feel like, well, they're onto something too. There's something that they're doing that because how many people have stayed in companies for 30 years, getting a dollar raise a year. If that, if that, if that, if that. And then sometimes you're capped at vacation. Like you could be there for 19 years and you still have the cap vacation of like three weeks. 

And it's like, that's all I get. That's a double edged sword though. Because like, if you're always jumping from job to job, your resume is going to look. Horrific. Yes, they look at that. They look at that. But if you've been at a place for five years or four years I'm telling you if you look for another job quietly, you're gonna get a twenty thousand dollar raise on your own Yeah like that And I don't think that it should look bad if you do jump around not jump around like all the time but A job is quit to let go of you if they're not happy with your performance. 

What about if I'm quitting because I don't agree with the company and their performance? You know what I mean? Like, so, I have to worry about how my resume's gonna look because I decided to go to a company. And I've always felt like that. Like, you go to a place to get interviewed, but you're interviewing them just as much as they're interviewing you. 

Absolutely. You know, like, what, like, walk me around your facility. Why do I have to come back for this interview? Why don't you walk me around let me see your employees and who the team is that I'm going to be working with. Yeah, and how come, how many people are they? Right. Person that I'm replacing how long were they here? 

Right. Like, why can I ask all these questions? It sounds like taboo or, or why can't, yeah, but they can, yeah. And then later on they're going to talk about you and be like, yeah, believe this one. She asked all these questions about this place and don't hire that one. She wants to know the info. That's a lot of shit, right? 

Yeah. Gen Z, that generation gets a lot of shit. But there's a few things. They are very good at setting boundaries. Yeah, and I know that gen x and and boomers they're like, oh no They're like the worst generation to hire and there must be reasons why they feel that way But I also feel that gen z is kind of like but my boomer grandparents and my gen x parents They're fucking unhappy. 

They I don't want to be unhappy at my job I want to be happy at my job and I want to make a decent living mom I don't want to be stressed the fuck out like you you You're working 55 hours a week, 60 hours a week, and you're fucking miserable and you can't even afford to take a vacation. Yeah, and then you walk into the house and you're exhausted, you don't even want to deal with anybody and you're trying to put on a face and not show how tired and aggravated you are. 

Or you do, and then you yell at the kids because you're stressed out and it's not even them that you mean to yell at. I mean, it's I mean, that's a completely different podcast. I'm sorry. Well, can you have it all kind of went to the corporate interview world, too. No, we're just Today's podcast is kind of just like hanging out with your friends because there's a lot of wine here girls. 

But it's interesting, it all ties in. It does. And can we have it all? And I, having it all, like Maritza said, is different for everyone. But I feel like, for me, having it all is being happy at home with my family. So they measure that on success, right? Yeah. They measured it on Success, too. Success means something different to everybody. 

So what does success mean to you, Jasmine? Oh, we're gonna go around the table. Yeah, we are. I like that. What does success mean to me? Well, being healthy. Like, that's high for me. I get very scared of growing older and being sick. So I value taking care of my health and my body. I don't mean looks. I mean help. 

That's really important. I want to be happy with my family. Spending time with my family, those moments, that's, that's really, those are the top two guys. And yeah, like finances, who doesn't want to be financially secure? I'm not going to lie, but that's still like in third place. Before it was always number one, the money, the finances, all this stuff. 

I know it's important, but I don't know. I think health and happiness at home with my family and that peace, that's always going to be a win for me. Absolutely. What about you? Same, health, happiness. Um, my family, number one. Like, when my daughter moves out, or when the stepkids, you know, how they're on their own, them calling us to see how we're doing and checking in, that, to me, is success. 

Success. You, you're thinking of me, even though you're, you have your family and you've moved on. That's amazing to me. So, if my daughter, you know, when, when she finishes school and she goes to live her life, her calling me and saying, hey mom, that, to me, is success. success because I know that, you know, I did something and she's successful and she still thinks of me. 

I'm her mom and me and my husband being together and just living our life, being, you know, happy. That's success to me. Yeah. Not so much as career wise. Yeah. Achieving any goal that I decide, okay, this is a goal I want to, this is what I want to do in two years. Achieving that goal success, no matter what it is. 

and health and all that. That to me, it doesn't narrow down to one thing or money or, you know, for some people it's different. But for me, it's also age. I think when you're younger, you have this, you think differently. Let's be honest. How you think when you're a teenager is drastically different on how you think in your mid 20s and 30s. 

I'm knocking the door closer to 50 now. I'm going to be 48. Same. And I just feel like, mentally, I feel like a completely different woman. I really do. I sometimes think about how I thought before and I'm like, wow, that was, I don't care about that stuff at all. Exactly. Anymore. You know? What about you, Deibys? 

Um, same, pretty much. My family, success. To me is the relationship that I'm building now with my daughters, the family that I'm building with my husband, I really want to grow old and be healthy. So health is success. I want to be able to help my daughters when they have their babies so I can be active and healthy enough to help them watch them grow and just be with my husband and look at the life that we created together. 

That's success to me, you know, so My kids, have I mentioned before, they're nine and twelve. So I feel like, since they were little, I have always tried to have a good relationship with them. And like, I'm always like, I'm your best friend, you're my best friend. Like, you know, I'm their mom first, so you know. 

First, respect me, I'm your mother. But, you gotta be fun, you know? I don't wanna be that strict parent, even though I, I, you know. can be and I will be what I need to be. But success is that is the relationship that I'm building with my daughters because they're going to be my best friends. And it goes by fast. 

I can tell you. Yes, yours are holding in nine and twelve. Well, the thing is that I'm out of joy every moment. Yes, because it goes by in a I know I have from both sides of my family. Dennis's and my side, my kids are the youngest. So, I have a, I have like, I don't even know, what, seven, eight nephews and one niece and they're all older. 

They're, the youngest out of all of them is 21. They're going to turn 21. My, my youngest niece and nephew are going to turn 21 in August and I've watched them all grow up and it goes so fast. So when I had my kids, I'm just like, Oh my God, it goes so fast. So I've been trying to hold on to every single moment and I think that's why my heart's so bad. 

I want to be home with them because I know it goes so fast and it's like, I don't want to miss a minute with them. You'd be surprised. How you can make that happen. Yeah, you can if that's really what you want. Don't give up on it. I'm not I'm not Because I it didn't really happen for me until very late Yeah, my daughter was in 10th grade and then my other daughter was a senior. 

So that's like you're saying Yeah, well, they always but they always need you i'm telling you even i'm you're thinking 12th grade. Yeah, she's already going. What's the matter? Listen the difference is those things When I was home, a 180, and all going, and now today, they're both incredible. I'm not saying it's me. 

I mean, they did, they, they did the work. But just me being present and guiding them in so many things, it was life changing. So don't give up on that. If you want it, you can get it. But it's the relationship. Like Monica said, like, when my girls get older, like, how she gets the calls now from the stepkids and that they're out with their families, or they're just older, living on their own, and you want those calls. 

So it's like, I'm building those relationships because I hope that the seeds that I'm planting with them is that. That's so important. That is my success. And that's what I always say. Yes. For sure. What about you, Marissa? Um, I'm pretty much in the same page as you guys. I mean, for sure, good health, because if you're not doing well, I mean, you can't pour from an empty cup, so your health is the first thing. 

And love for my family, for sure. I mean, my kids are 17 and 20, and they still want to hang out with me, so that's major success for me. That's success right there. That makes me happy, and I will jump on that any time. Any time you want to. Good. Let's do it. Um, peace, comfort, and time for myself too, because that is also important. 

That's a good one. Yeah, I agree. Taking care of yourself. Taking care of yourself, spending time with yourself. My daughter never gets old. She don't want to hang out with me. I know that's the niece that I'm talking about. Yes, she does. Oh, okay. That one night. Yeah, she'll hang out with me. Monica, she wants us there for her 21st. 

What 20 year old wants her family there with their friends? My 21st birthday? I will be there. And that's my niece. That's success. Am I invited? Absolutely. That's success. That is success right there. We're inviting all of us. Can I wear a slutty dress? Oh, I am. Absolutely. I haven't worn a slutty dress in a really long time. 

Don't wear the churchies. Don't wear churchies. No churchies, girl. That was a good one. Because I was insane. I'm never going to wear a slutty dress again. I'm never going to. Do you know what I wore to Universal the other day? Yeah. Tell me. Well, first I had on like little biker shorts and something, but then I wore leggings with a crop top. 

Yes, I did. Cause we were talking about that shit the other day. And as I'm walking Universal, I sure as hell thought about it. I was like, before I left the hotel, I was like, Dennis, I don't know. Should I wear this? He's like, it looks good. Yeah. Wear it. I accidentally put Adriana's crop top on. I was like, That shoe was so tight. 

I'm petite, but I ain't that petite. And I was like, what the hell? Did I get like a triple extra small? Full of a Bethany Frankel. And he turned and was like, Mom, I think that's my, cause it was, we got it at Target. It was the same, but kids, and I could barely take it off. And then, so I think I want that. I put mine on, I was like, Oh yeah, this is much better. 

But it wasn't like my belly button was showing, you know, there was like half an inch of skin cause the leggings are high waisted. I'm not wearing like, um, hip hugger jeans we used to wear back in the 90s. Remember those? Yeah. With the crop top. That's a little different. But I was. I was thinking about you ladies. 

I'm crying. I'm crying. I'm still crying at the green dress lady. Oh my God. That was funny. No, because I think about it, like, I, I think about this more than I should, but it's like every time I get dressed and I'm going to go out in a social environment, I'm like, Is this the? Age appropriate. who gives a shit? 

No, but da. Exactly. Da. It's about how it looks on you shit. Exactly. It's body type. It's just like you can wear a dress in your, and no. Who gives a shit no there. Listen, you can wear a dress that's for your age, but it may not be for your body type. It's about picking the right outfit that hugs you in the right places, regardless of what age is wearing those pants. 

I mean, who care? is wearing something that I feel confident in, and then I'm in front of a bunch of, like, 16 17 year olds, and, like, ay, look at that old lady trying to look young. Yo me muero. Yo me muero. Did she buy that at Forever 21? Me Forever 49. Yo me muero. Yo me muero. There's nothing scarier than a room of 17 year old girls. 

Ay, por favor. I get what you're saying. Because what's getting weirder than 16 and 17 year old girls? You as an older, being in a room with them. But here they are using what style from what year? 90s. Yeah. They're wearing the baggy jeans. Okay. Yeah. The style that's going on right now, I'm loving it. Even the baby doll dresses with the white little tees underneath. 

Yeah. They wear those too. I'm just like, you don't even know how much that was in style back then. Yeah, it's coming around. But that's how style is. It is. Style is always coming back. Always. I just feel like ours came earlier than it should have. Because I'm like, we're not that old for our shit coming around yet, right? 

I mean, look at him. But guys, the 90s The 90s. It was epic. You know what my favorite jeans were? Janet Jackson. And um, what was the, I loved Janet Jackson back then too, um, Again, and If. Do you remember those videos? Again was with that actor, oh, what's that, he was gorgeous with the light green eyes and he had like the dreads. 

He's an actor, what's his name? Well she's got like those baggy jeans. But like high waisted, but still they're like mid mm-Hmm . And they're just like little tight on the waist and super baggy. But then she had the cute crop that was a crop top. Hers definitely showed way more than I was showing at Universal. 

And then you'd have the little necklace, like on your waist. The little uh, like little, the chain gold. Yes. The little chain. The chain. Yeah. You gotta look that up. I loved all her songs back then, but I always remember those videos. Videos were a lot popular back then, right? Yeah. MTV. Yeah, that was a thing. 

I loved it. I was in the bathroom doing the pleasure principle. 

Me and my neighbor were talking about dressing up like that. I wasn't censoring myself. That came out the wrong way. I know. You were in the bathroom doing what, Justin? I just realized what I said. It's in. I'm so embarrassed. I want to die right now. I met the pleasure principle. I want to die. It's a principle of pleasure. 

Oh no, that was amazing. It's a principle of pleasure. The dance routine. She was doing the dance routine in the bathroom. Because that's the one where she had the sticky. I can't even look at you. We, we know what you're talking about. It's okay. Shut up, Dee! I love it. It's because she had the chair. Yes. I get it. 

I already dug a hole, too. Yeah, stop digging, girl. Stop digging. After I said that, I was like, wait, no. Stop it like that. I'm not pleasuring myself. You don't, no, remember him? You don't remember him? Oh my God, he's a drug addict! What? No, he's not! Oh my God! No, he's not! What's his name? Gary what? No, yo ahora. 

Not in the video, Benny. No, see, that was her little video. I just, I gotta find, like, pictures of her. She means in real life. Oh, and this outfit. I remember that with the tank top was, like, rolled up. Oh my God, you don't even know what happened to this guy! He became a full fledged drug addict. No, he's not! 

That's him! Yes! I hate to break your heart. You see what Janet did? No, but not anymore, right? He's out of that. I don't know, man. He was really fucked up for a long time. No, I think that was the time of his life. He's a big actor now. I follow him on Instagram. He's in a lot of movies. Oh, he's better now? He might have went through a rough patch. 

What's his name? Gary Gary Gary Jordan. I don't know, but I follow him on Instagram. Let me see. I thought he died. No, Oh, actually no, this was November 30th, 2023. Yeah. 2007. He was arrested in Louisiana. Um, and he was, uh, a full fledged drug addict. Because he got caught. She was the pleasure principal. She was in the bathroom doing the No, you know what I just realized? 

Pleasure principals. Wait, when we hear this back, you're going to have to take it off. Do you know why? Because I even did the noise. 

It's perfect. I love Janet. I love Janet. I saw her red velvet tour. Did you? Yes. And she would, and Usher was the opening act. Yes. Really? It was epic. What? It's a bummer. Ya. Ya. Ya. Ya. Ya. Ya. Ya. Ya. Yes. I think we can. Yes. Yes, we can. Because it all depends on what you're having it all is. It depends on what's important to you at the time. 

Exactly. And what's successful. And I say at the time because life is always changing for us and we're always adjusting to what life throws our way. Absolutely. That's right. So, so the thing is that can we have it all changes all the time too because it depends on what's important to you at the time. I mean usually good health is all the time. 

All the time. For me. Yes. Me too. Family all the time is for me. Absolutely. But I guess when it comes to, you know, like work and you know, that other stuff, you know, that's always changing in life. Yeah. That's a very good point. I agree with that because your health and your family is always there. Having it all is the things that you want to include at the time of your life. 

It could be a career. It could be a huge project that you want to do with your friends, like a podcast. It could be anything. thing that you are including into your life because family and your health are the priority and they are the number one thing. There's no bottom line. Right. There's no changes. 

Rocking that. Yeah, exactly. That's a very good point. So what do you do when things change? You adjust. You fail. You realign. And you keep going, right? You keep going down that new path because that's what life's all about. So to the listener, our listeners that we appreciate so much, just if you're listening to us live. 

still and you haven't given up on us, because if you listen to here, we love you. You're our people if you're still listening to here. Are you still there? Are you still listening? Don't be so hard on yourself. No. Okay, because all of us here, as you can tell, we're normal women that are just trying to make our dreams come true. 

But at the end of the day, all you have to do is self love, self love, self love. You have to don't be, don't be so hard on yourself and just go for it. I want to say one thing. Maya Angelou's quote, success is liking yourself, liking what you do and liking how you do it. That's exactly right. Success is liking yourself. 

Yeah. Entonces, mi gente, I love you guys. Y hasta la próxima. Thank you for listening. Make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss an episode. We will be dropping an episode every two weeks. Oh yeah, no, like seriously, subscribe now. So just chill till the next episode. Follow us on Insta and TikTok. 

Hasta la proxima.