Navigating Social Media

In this episode of the Red Lips Real Talk Podcast, hosts Jasmin, Monica, Maritza, and Deibys discuss their experiences and insights on social media, touching on topics like the aftermath of Hurricane Milton, the evolution of social interactions, and social media’s effects on mental health. They reflect on personal stories of overcoming online negativity, the importance of educating children about online etiquette, and maintaining healthy boundaries with social media. The episode emphasizes self-love, community support, and staying true to oneself despite the pressures of the digital world. They also delve into the challenges parents face today with the internet's pervasive influence on children

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Transcript

Hey, chicas. Welcome to Red Lips Real Talk Podcast. I'm Jasmin. I'm Monica. I'm Maritza. And I'm Deibys with a Y. And we are four Latinas from South Florida, bringing you real talk on life, love, and everything in between. Time to get real.

What's up, ladies? How are you? What's up? What's up? It's been a minute. Miss you guys. Oh, I miss you guys. I always miss you guys. I always miss you ladies. Crazy week. What'd you do? Jasmin? Actually, um, well, I know it happened a while ago, but I actually went to Naples and Marco Island and, you know, I just wanted to see how it was after Hurricane Milton.

Oh, yeah. Hurricane Milton. Yeah. I mean, when was the last time? I mean, listen, I'm a Florida native. New York girl, born and raised, was there until I was 15. But I'm a Florida girl. Like, I consider myself a Florida girl. And this is the first hurricane That scared the shit out of me. Really? Yeah. Category five?

Fuck yeah. Well, I was here for Andrew. That shit scared the shit out of me. But do you know that Andrew was considerably smaller than Milton? And Andrew wasn't supposed to hit Miami and Homestead. No, it wasn't. It changed at the last minute. And that's what had me scared with this one. That's what had me scared with this one, too.

I was worried for the West Coast because of everything they had already been through. But I was like, man, if that thing decides to move south a little bit more, we're in the cone. Yeah. I mean, he I mean, he Luckily it didn't hit, it, it, it slowed down just a bit before it hit land, so it wasn't a category five.

Right. It didn't hit land. Yeah. But yeah, that was scary shit because we kept getting nonstop tornado warnings. And the tornadoes were a lot more wild. It was a category three. It was. I think so. Yeah, I think it was a three by a time of day. There was tornadoes everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. That was a thing. That was scary.

West Palm Beach. Yeah. Palm Beach County. That was, yeah. Like Florida doesn't get tornadoes. No, they always come with the hurricanes, but they're quick little pop up tornadoes and then they. break down and they, you know, they destroy things, but these were like, um, tornadoes you see like in Kansas and stuff like that.

They were big and they were destroying a lot. I saw a video online of this lady in Palm Beach County who had a waste management, huge waste container on her. Yes. I saw that one. That's how strong the tornado was. It picked it up and put it on her roof. Yeah. That did more damage to us. because we weren't in the cone of the hurricane, then the winds and outer bands and yeah, it actually, my area didn't get as much water.

We had more when we knew it was raining, it's always raining, but we didn't have like, you know, bad downpour of water. It was more wind. We had like a huge gust of winds and then the tornadoes that came through where they just did more damage than anything else. Yeah. Was sad to see. No, it was. And I mean, they're already repairing, like you can't, you can't even tell that anything went through there because it's amazing what the people, like when the community comes together and the beach cleanup and everyone coming together to fix their own like cities and counties.

It's, it's really remarkable. But even the JW Maria in Marco Island, which is quite beautiful if you've never been, it really is. But they had just finished remodeling their tiki hut. I heard that from the, from the last hurricane. I mean, it was completely plummeted. Yeah. And Helene was a big one too. Mm hmm.

And that, I mean, Helene really hurt North, was it North Carolina? North Carolina. Yeah. You know, so you see all these things and you're, I actually had a family member, I'm not going to say who it is, but they were like, Jasmin, like you should move from Florida. Like it's crazy. Like you should just move up north.

And I'm like, I can't. I have my family. My whole world is here, um, and that makes me feel a certain way because some people just can't evacuate. Yeah. It's crazy. I saw on social media, a lot of people kept getting these warnings for evacuation, like in the serious zones, but like pleading, like, I can't, yeah, like mandatory evacuation zones.

Yeah. But they couldn't go. They had, you know, it was a, a, a female, she was a family of, I think it was six of them. And she had three dogs and she's like, I can't afford to pay for a hotel. I don't have nowhere to go. I don't have family here. The shelters, they're not going to take me with my three dogs. And my, you know, she couldn't leave and she was getting a lot of shit for not leaving.

You know, it was like, but she was broke and I can't afford. So would you rather me just like go out? In the street or stay in my home and like try to weather the storm, you know, but you know, she wrote it out. Thankfully, nothing happened to her and her family and they're safe. But social media, like they were just ripping her apart for not leaving and it's like, why?

You know, she's in it. She's in the middle of it. Like, why are you ripping her apart because she can't leave or because she said something a certain way or whatever the case is. It's just, it's horrible. I was just like. Yeah. Yeah. There's some people that say, Oh, I'm not leaving. It's nothing. I've lived in Florida all my life.

I can, whatever you want to be brave that, you know, it's your choice. But there's some people like you said, that really don't have a choice. They really can't leave. They don't have maybe family in another state that they can go drive or they don't even have the money for the gas to get there. So, you know, it's easier said than done, you know?

Yeah. And yeah, and that's why, like, I can understand why people on social media also get upset with, like, you know, influencers who, they're like mommy vloggers and they record their whole life with their family and stuff like that. But there was one lady who was like, we're going to go to Disney World.

We're going to go to Magic Kingdom during a category five storm. Yeah, that's a little ridiculous. It was ridiculous. And people were like, you're so irresponsible. Imagine all the things that were being said to her. Anyway. But it made me think because even though she was getting a lot of backlash, there was a lot of people who were saying not only are you taking your family to a potential category five catastrophic hurricane, but you're now going to take a hotel of someone that's living in the community that maybe needs to evacuate.

their home. Right. And needs to stay in a hotel. And now you're taking up a room and it made me think, I'm like, you know what, I never thought about that. But it's true. It's like you are taking the room of someone in the community that maybe needs to stay there. Right. During a category five hurricane. And, and, and that for sure.

But, I mean. It's hard to be like the first thing, the second thing, but honestly I would never bring my family somewhere that I know there's like a disaster coming. There's like a storm. You can't control that. There's like a hurricane coming there in the cone and you're going to go bring your family over there because you want to record.

Your social media content. Like I don't, that's, that's the part that I don't, that, that right there is enough for me. It's an obsession. It's an obsession. Absolutely. Maritza hit it. And, and, and the husband must be just as, you know, as obsessed with it because. They all went! Well you know, I'm kind of glad that you brought up the husband because like, many times the husbands just do whatever the wives want them to do to just keep the peace at home.

I get it, but. I mean look at Kate plus 8. Yeah. I mean that's a perfect example of a husband who just was like look. I'm just going to do whatever my wife wants me to do because, because she was horrible to him. Well, there was eight kids, but she was, so he probably didn't, there was no, there was no mental space.

No, it's okay. I was just going to say, there's no mental space for him to even argue with you. They have eight kids. He was probably like, my piece is if better, if I just shut up. I mean, there's a famous meme. It's funny, but it's not like he's literally just. Somebody asked her a question and she's answering it and out of nowhere she stops and she's like, Can you please stop?

And he, he didn't do anything. What? And she looked, he looks at her and he was like, Can you just stop breathing like that? Oh my god. And he's like, I mean, literally, and, and I was just, it's funny, but it's not, I mean, and so going back to what you said, Deibys, it's like a lot of these husbands that have influencer moms or bloggers, they're just like, look, I don't want to deal with it.

So they go with it. I've never watched it. So you're saying that these things are happening live stream? No, no, no. I'm sorry. Like she's embarrassing him or? Yeah, yeah. She, she's embarrassing him. You're talking about Kate Plus 8. Yeah. I've never watched it, so I didn't really watch the show either, but I know of the show and I would see clips and I know there was obviously eight kids, um, and it comes out a lot that, um, she was, I guess, verbally abusive to him.

Um, and even some of the kids have came out that. They, that some of them don't even talk to her. Wow. But I, I don't know. There's eight of them. So I don't know if some have side with the dad, some have side with her. I really don't know the full story, so I don't want to like, you know, give misleading information, but I, I have it here.

Do you mind if I play it? I think it might be good to listen to it. I'm sorry, can you stop breathing so loud, honey? He's like, breathe quietly. So I consider them sick and he's sick. Oh my gosh. Yeah, that's real. Wow. So I could see, like, moms who are, and I'm not making this just a mom thing, but most of the time when you see people on that are mommy influencers, it's usually the moms.

It's usually the moms who are doing it and the men are just there like, okay, I'm just going to do whatever she says. Yeah. But to bring your children to it, like, kind of gory. Yeah. Well, it hit three. But she did. She did do it. And, and yeah, it was a terrible hurricane going back to your initial question, like, what did I do?

That's what I did. I love the state of Florida. I'm a, I was born in Brooklyn, New York. I love New York, but I feel like a native Floridian. And when I see what our state goes through, I don't know how to explain it. We've released that. Yeah. Absolutely. And the rebuilding and the rebuilding, like, I know a lot of people on the West Coast got hit from, um, what was her name?

Helene. Helene. Helene. And Ian was a while back and people had just finally recovered from Ian on the West Coast. You know, people that had like Fort Myers, Fort Myers and everything like had, um, what do you want to say? Like six, like maybe, I don't know, three. three, four feet of water in their homes, you know, having to rebuild all that.

And that's a, that's a lot to like put back together. You know what I mean? And then for another one to hit. No, I have a daughter who lives and well, she goes to FSCU, so she lives on campus. And my sister and my mom actually live in Tallahassee. So for Helene, they all said it was going to Tallahassee and my mom and my sister were hiding in the closet.

I mean, it was like, they were like hunkered down. And the next day they're like, no, it was, it wasn't that bad. It wasn't that bad. And then we find out. Oh, it's because it went to Asheville. Yeah. And that's exactly what happened with, uh, it was 30 years ago, but it happened with Andrew. Yeah. Where everyone thought it was going to hit Miami and it hit Homestead.

Mm hmm. And we, we all know what happened there. So that's what I'm saying. You never really know where they can, they can get close to where they think a hurricane is going to go, but they never know. Right. And I think as a community, that's where you need to come together and say, don't shame people if they can't evacuate.

Right. Don't make people feel bad for their financial and economic situations. Like at the end of the day, let's just come together as a community and help each other out. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It's hard though with social media because that's what's, you know, driving half of those people don't even freaking live here.

They don't know. No. They don't know. They their two cents and say shit. Yeah. And make people feel like shit. Yeah. And even, even people that don't have to evacuate, it still puts a financial, not a huge burden, but it's like now we all have to go out, buy food that we don't know if we're going to eat. You know, it's like we got to buy extra groceries.

Get food. You know, you, you, there's an expense that comes with preparing for a hurricane. And listen, I'd rather be prepared and nothing happens than, you know, but still it's like those things, those things affect family too. There's some family that can't, they can't even stock up on, on some stuff. And that's when it's important for the community to come together when those moments happen.

I agree with you and I 100 percent agree with you and social media is great. I mean, it's revolution in the world and it's done a lot of beautiful things to raise awareness. But because I'm a. I don't want to say I'm an influencer because I'm not, but I am a content creator and I like to create content and it has brought me joy.

But believe me, it has brought me pain because when you put yourself out there and you give your opinions on whatever you give it, whether it's fashion, I try to stay away. Well, I don't talk about politics because that's just, yeah, that you're asking for trouble. But I do, I like to do uplifting content or, or like hair and makeup and cooking I try to keep it safe and I'm gonna share something that I probably never thought that I would but so there was one day that I like bought myself like a pretty dress and I was going out for my birthday and we were going to go out to like a really nice restaurant and I got dressed up and I just I just felt really pretty that day so I did like a get ready with me and I It was like 20 seconds.

I showed, uh, how I did my hair, my makeup, the outfit that I was wearing, and that was it. And most of the comments were really nice, but I had a lot of comments that were so mean, like, Wow, you're, like, so unattractive, or you're overweight, or you're so old, or, like, What? I'm gonna say it because I'm very transparent.

I had one guy say to me, You're so pretty from the neck down. Wow. . Yes. Are you fucking kidding me? You have got to be kidding. I swear to God. And now it really takes a lot for someone to hurt my feelings because good, bad, and ugly is giving me thick skin. So now I'm like, okay, that's your opinion. But I feel good about myself.

Right. You know, and I, and I'm the only reason I'm sharing that, even though I may regret it later and feel embarrassed when I hear what I just. It's the truth and that's how social media can be where, whether it's a bot or it could be a, it could be fake and it's just the bot or it could be a real man who actually, yeah, this makes me so mad to be honest with you.

That's how it is. Yeah. That's how it is. And I believe it. I know, I know. So when you put yourself out there, you have to understand what you're signing up for. 100%. You know, I've, I've had every mean thing that you could say to a woman has already been said to me. Okay. But those people that do that, they're, they're people.

with themselves because what good person in their right mind is going to sit there behind a computer and just criticize somebody. You know, it's like you really, and I know it's hard because if I put myself out there like you did and I heard those comments, it would hurt me. I'm not going to lie. I would probably cry and I would pick myself back up and, and dust it off and then I would be like, fuck you.

And we didn't let it affect me. I have shed tears that people don't know about. And I remember one day I was just. I feel so humiliated. Like, I felt humiliated. Yeah. I felt so bad. And, uh, my husband came in and he's like, Qué te pasa? Like, what's wrong with you? I was like, no, nothing, nothing. And then, like, a few days later, when I felt better, I told him, oh, you want me to tell you what happened?

Like, why I was feeling down? He goes, what's wrong? And I told him. And he was like, fuck that guy. That guy lives in a basement with his mom. Good for him. He probably hasn't gotten pussy in three years. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That's what I'm talking about. These are the people that are miserable. And I was like, Oh my God, I love you so much.

Yeah. That's right. And you're beautiful, Jasmin. Thank you. And you are. Oh, thank you so much. No, but I'm not saying it for that. I'm just, I'm actually. No, you're not. And I'm not saying it to make you feel better. You are beautiful. Thank you. I'm saying it because I want people who are listening today, whether you're young, midlife or older, like people are going to say mean things.

Yes. But I think that's more of a reflection of who they are and where they're at, just like you said, Davis. Right. And I always say this a lot, but it's the truth. When people show you who they are, believe them. And hurt people hurt people. It's cliche, it's a sound and corny. It's the truth. Hurt people hurt people.

Because think about when you're having a bad day and you just snap at your husband or you're just being snappy that day. It's because you're angry. Because something isn't right. else is bothering you, and that's why you're being moody or crabby. So people that hurt people, people that are hurting people, it's because they're hurt, you know?

So fuck them. Fuck you. But you know what? I want it. I'm sorry. Leave my girl Jasmin alone. Go ahead. Oh my. You're my friend. Can we just say what you told me earlier today? Please. You're my friend. So, okay. I have to say this. So we were getting together for the podcast and we usually like have a little early dinner or lunch before we start our podcast.

And Deibes walked in through the door and I'm like, Hey Deibes, I'm giving her a hug and a kiss. And Deibes and I, we had a moment. Yes, we did. And I was like, Deibes, you're my friend. You're like my friend, friend. Like, you're like my real friend. And she was like, Jasmin, last week I was talking to a group of people with Monica.

And I was like, you know, Jasmin, Monica's friend. And I was like, wait, no, Jasmin, my friend. And I was like, bitch, I grew on YouTube. I got you. I know. She likes me. She really, really likes me. Because I grow on people like the play. Oh, it's true though. It's true though. I know I had said it too. I love you. I had said it.

So I said, cause I was like, Oh, you guys, you know Monica Jasmin's friend. And I looked at Monica go, Jasmin's my friend now too. Like I'm not just going to be like, You're friends, like it feels wrong now, before it didn't, you know, and the same thing with you Marissa, I just wasn't talking about you at that moment.

I was saying something about the podcast and it was about Jasmin, but seriously, I love you ladies. Yeah. Yeah. And this podcast has also given me self esteem. Yes, it has. Because the things that people used to say, I mean, let me take that back. I don't think most people have never really said anything mean about me.

I think the meanest person to me has been me. Honestly, and those people on social media and they don't know the guy in the basement. Yeah, that's right. And the guy on the couch. Yeah. And going back to that, imagine you're an adult and you're getting these mean comments. I think with Instagram automatically putting these children on their accounts on private.

It's a good thing for those reasons because our kids go through a lot with, um, a lot of these comments and if they're public and they're posting and just strangers saying things to them and you know, it messes with their mind. Yes. And I think it messes with an adult mind as well. I mean, not even you realizing it because there's been times where, you know, I sit down, I don't know, I'm in the mood for pizza.

I grab myself I sit down. I'm like, I'm so ready for this pizza. Let me grab my phone. Let me eat my pizza and grow through the internet. And you know, I automatically get on and there's a beautiful woman, you know, and I'm like, shit, I didn't work out today. I bet she didn't have pizza. And here I am eating my pizza.

And you don't, you don't automatically know, but I mean, it does something to you mentally. Yeah. And I'm. I mean, it's not only that, it's just like other things, you know, like maybe you didn't do anything this week. Maybe you haven't traveled for a while and you go online and you see somebody having the time of their life and traveling.

I mean, not that you automatically feel bad and you're like, Oh my God, my life sucks. You know what I mean? I'm not saying that, but I think it triggered something in your mind. You're not knowing. You're not aware. And you kind of feel bad a little bit, you know, you kind of like, man, I need to travel more.

You know, these negative thoughts unconsciously start going through your mind. Or you see a post that maybe you disagree with, you're in a good mood and you see something online that makes you angry or offensive. What does it do? It automatically. puts you in a bad mood, or you're angry now and you're like frustrated, you're like, Oh my God, like I can't believe somebody would post something like that.

You know what I mean? Like it changes your mood throughout the day and we don't realize that it does these things to us. So imagine the young people and what it does to them, you know, like the mental, yeah, mental health. I agree with you because when I, when I have received really mean comments like that, it has like, it really hurt my feelings a lot.

I can see that it has. And I'm sorry. No, it's okay. Fuck that guy. Fuck the basement guy. I love you guys. It only makes you stronger, though. It does. But I'm just thinking about you. I'm 40. I'm in my late 40s. Absolutely. I'm in my late 40s. Imagine if you're 40. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, right? Like they say that the ages 10 to 19 are the most high brain high sensitivity periods.

So it's like the emotional learning, the self worth, the impulse control, emotional regulation that's from the ages 10 to 19. Mm hmm. So yeah, us as an adult, you know, it hurts us and we know how to deal with it. We know how to dust it off, but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt us and it may last for a day or two or, you know, here we are talking about it because it's a real thing.

So your children are going through this. Our children can go through this. You know, it's, you gotta be careful what they're seeing, what ages you want to allow them to have social media, you know, have access to Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, all these, uh, tick tock. All there's other ones that I don't even know about, you know, there's a lot, sorry.

Not only that. But there has got to be an open line of communication too, because you have to talk to your kids about what they're seeing. You know what I mean? You can't control half of the time of what they see because they see things on accident or they come across, maybe they Google something and something pops up because of something they're Googling.

Right. Yeah. You can't control that. You can't be scared to talk to them. You definitely have to do have to communicate with them afterwards. You know, maybe they come to you and be like, Oh my God, I saw, you know, it may scare them or whatever it may be at different ages. I mean, depending on what it is, but you have to keep those lines of communication.

communication open with your children because at the end of the day, you cannot control what they see. You cannot control what they hear because they're going to go to school. Kids are going to tell them about certain things, about certain websites, about what they see. Maybe show them, the kids are going to show them what they see.

Right? I was just going to say that. It's true. It's going to be like, Oh my God, look at this. You know, it's going to be something maybe they shouldn't be watching. You know what I mean? And they're going to come back home, tell you about it. Hopefully. Yeah. And you have that opportunity to have that conversation with your children.

But it's a beautiful thing when your children can come home and feel safe to say these things to their parents. To say, Hey, mom or hey, dad, this is what I'm going through. Or maybe they don't say that, but the parents can see the, the, the, the, the, the, the The signs, maybe they're not eating or showering or don't want to go to school or they're crying a lot.

These are little, little signs because they are growing up differently than we are. And like when we were embarrassed, it just stayed in our school or stayed like around the people that we were around. But now if it's recorded and it's put on social media, the whole world sees it. You got to carry a presence.

And like, you know, represent yourself in school, you know, try to fit in or find real friends. There's a long list of being a kid. You're trying to figure yourself out that, you know, kids are growing up, they're going through their hormones. And so school alone is a tough thing. And then now they have to also have this persona online.

It's like, so I got to be this person in school, I got to be this person online, I got to post the right thing. I got to make sure this picture looks the right way. This isn't cool. I can't wear that. It's just like, it's, it's like double the bullying, double the trying to keep up. Up trying to be cool. It's just, I think it adds so much pressure on them.

It does. You know? Mm-Hmm. . I mean, that's why I like growing up in the nineties. Yes. As a teenager, because, you know, it was a different time that it was a different time. A whole different podcast. Oh, for sure. But I mean, it was a time where we didn't grow up with cell phones and recording everything. It was.

a little bit more freedom to, you know, yeah, I was just gonna say, you know, we're, we're talking about all the negative stuff about things with kids on social media. Um, I still believe you should control everything is, you know, should be age appropriate. There's a time for everything. So I think parents should be mindful about letting their kids be on certain social sites until maybe certain.

Yeah. Appropriate ages. But you know, one thing that can be good is, you know, positive connections with others. You know what I mean? So you, there is good things where these kids can be on there. Certain games or games that you monitor. 'cause Roblox has, its good and it has, its bad. I hear bad stuff about it.

I'm not gonna lie. My kids play it. It's kind of hard to, to not have them play it. Um, and I allow it. I say it's not hard. I know I'm the parent. I can totally be like, no . But it's hard. But it's hard. I allow it and, you know. But you can, kids can be on there as well. Not just roadblocks, but social media sites like sharing common interests, you know, creating a safe space for self expression, you know, kids that may not be so open to, you know, kids that are more introvert, you know, maybe you have a kid that doesn't necessarily have a lot of friends and not in a bad way.

They're just not a people person. You know what I mean? So social site can be, you know, an outlift for them to find kids that they like. They can connect with and things like that. So that's not all bad. And for us ourselves, like we like cooking, you know, how many people don't we follow that you find amazing recipes or inspirational quotes or, you know, things about prayers or things like that.

You know, I follow so many sites. Um, there's this one girl that I love that does nineties comical stuff, you know, and it brings me back. So it's like, I watch her, I laugh, it makes me happy. which is the opposite of what you're saying. You watch something that can bring you down, but that's the, I mean, it's right.

You can scroll, see something happy. And then the next thing is something that makes you have to be careful. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. The internet can be like a energy source. Absolutely. And the good, the bad, the ugly. Yeah, and all of it. You know what I mean? Like, um, I, you know, I, I, there was a point where, yeah, I was on, I was on it all the time, you know, scrolling, going through that rabbit hole of hours and hours of scrolling.

But I found, my daughter brought it to my attention that I spend too much time. You know, I, oh my God, mom, every time I come in here, you're on your phone. Okay. So it got to a point where I was kind of like, man, I think she's right. So I put myself on a schedule. You know what I mean? Like I go from like hours of like, I guess I, you know, I scroll or if I get on the phone, you know, it's during the day and I usually cut myself off like 6 PM and for the rest of the night I don't get back on.

Even if she sends me, cause she sends me funny DMs and memes and all that. And she's like, mom, did you just see what I sent you? And I'm like, I look at the time and I'm like, oh, it's past my time. I'm not getting on. I'll see you tomorrow. You're amazing. Yeah. I'm like, I'll see you tonight. Now, granted, I've been pulled back in because I do promote for red lips, so I do get pulled back in for that.

But I do try to keep it between working hours, like a job, nine to five. Well, and I commend you for that because again, you're going to be really trans. I don't know what's wrong today. Maybe I've had two glasses of wine. I'm admitting more than I should. But even, even my husband's been like, in the past, because I've, I've improved, uh, because I create content for certain platforms.

He has said to me, every time I look at you, you're on your phone or you're like, so like into what you're doing. I feel like I have to compete for your attention with your phone and I don't like it. And um, I don't know. Yeah, I felt really bad about that. I felt guilty, you know. And then he would be like the next day, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

Like, I know this is important to you, but it's just like, it's so much. So I think there's also needs to be like a self awareness. Right. That's what I'm trying to say. And what you're doing is commendable. So I've learned, just like you, I'm going to look at it as a job. I'm going to do it from Monday. I don't do it on the weekends.

Yeah. I'm done. Saturday and Sunday are sacrilegious. Good for you. Monday through Friday, you know, I, I may start like at 10 or 11 o'clock. By 3, 4 o'clock I'm done. And then the editing, the editing takes more time than the actual film. Whether I'm doing a cooking video, a comedy video, an inspirational video or, or, or whatever.

Um, and I try to do that because if you don't. Give yourself those healthy boundaries, you get, you get sucked into an addiction. Right. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Which is what I was trying to say. I mean, there's been times I've gone to bed because, you know, I, I, as we all know, and I've mentioned it multiple times, I, I have a nine and a 12 year old husband, so I get busy with that.

them and myself. So there's times where I don't look at my phone until I actually go laid down to go to sleep. And I'm not going to sleep because I want to lay down for a minute and now I have me time. So I'm either reading my book, listening to my book cause I read and I listen. I love audible and Kindle, but anyways, that's another podcast.

But I Sometimes I get stuck scroll, scrolling and I'm tired and I'm like, why? And I'm telling myself in my head, why am I still scrolling? Like I'm waiting for this wonderful thing just to pop out of nowhere and just be like, why? You know why I'm laughing? I know your schedule. I'm going to sound like such a creeper.

I'm sorry. No, it's okay. I totally interrupted you, but I can't stop laughing. I don't care. I know your schedule because I send Deibys so many fucking jokes. You do and it's funny and I love them. And then she replies to them at 10, 30, 11 p. m., and she's like, Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. And I'm like, yeah, well, and that's how you know, people's schedules because people are sending me stuff after six o'clock and I don't respond to the next day at 10 30 a.

m. Uh huh. Yeah. Deibys is 1030 p. m. Right. But everybody's schedule is different. It's different. Yeah. And I sometimes get home, because my schedule is so hectic, I don't even take my phone out of my purse. It's just in there all day. And then I start looking for it, and I'm like, where's my phone? I'm like, I didn't even take it out of my purse.

It's like Monica replies at lunch. 1230. Is that your time? Yeah. So we all have a phone. Yeah. If I'm on the phone with a customer, I'm like, oh, she's boring. What's going on here? And that's when you start scrolling. Yeah. And, and I, I always, I only send memes to people that I love. So if you have received a funny meme from me, I like you.

I feel special. Yeah. Bueno. No, but yes. I mean, you know, we, like we've said, we, it has its pros, its cons, you know, we don't want to like take away of the good that it has brought. It's not going anywhere. Right. It's not going anywhere. Social media helps me with my, what the hell I'm going to make for dinner every fucking night.

It's the only one I don't have. an idea of what I'm going to make. Yeah. Pinterest. I'm just glad my daughter is older. Cause yeah, well, I have been able, my daughter turns 13 soon and I have been able to keep her off the only, she recently got Pinterest. I looked at jazz because I teach her about Pinterest, but I don't let her have, um, Snapchat.

Instagram, Facebook. She has none of that. She does go on YouTube, which is going to be so dangerous, but she doesn't have like an account. You know what I mean? She kind of go, I'm worried more. I mean, I definitely worried about what she sees. I'm worried about the interaction with friends and really commenting and the back and forth and the posting.

That's what I'm worried about. Well, all the creators of Instagram or Facebook or Snapchat, they don't let their kids get on. No, I believe in social media. Wow. Don't allow it. Yeah, I believe it. I believe it. So, I mean, if they're not letting their kids on, why are we letting our kids on? Yeah. Like, honestly, if I had little children, like 7 or 8 or 10 years old, because they're in their 20s now.

Yeah. But if my daughters were that age, now, me, personally, going through what I have gone through, I'd be like, no, absolutely not. No. Because I know better. But, granted, it was, you know. 10, 12 years ago, so things are a little bit different, but yeah, no, you need to be very careful with your children because the cruelty out there is very real.

But that's why I have every social media app there is, because when, when I allowed my daughter to get on it back in, you know, 10 years ago, 12 years ago, I got on it. Right, right. Yeah, and I followed you and I had your password. I was just gonna say that. Everything you did and every night I took your phone until you were a senior in high school.

She was a senior in high school And I was taking her phone every night 10 10 p. m. Do you know where your children are? Yeah, I'm taking your phone Let's not even start with that. I mean, honestly It's so funny that you brought that up because I was just thinking that the other day like parents today Have it harder than the parents today In the 80s, because they had to fucking remind parents in the 80s where the fuck their kids were at 10 do you, it's 10 p.

m., do you know where your children are? That's wild. If you think, like, it's not even funny, like, you had to remind parents. Is your kid home? Yeah, because we were outside. 'cause we were out in the streets. Yes. Meanwhile now parents get, have to go pick up their kids from daycare. They go home, they have no play.

No. Now parents have to do play dates. Play dates, and you have to become friends. Yeah. With at least I like to. So don't compare, get to know. Yeah. You have no right to compare how you parented your kids in the eighties and nineties. Compare Yeah. To a parent in 2020, they have no breaks. No, none. Yeah. No, that's a good point.

That's a good point. And, and things that my parents let me do, or they never even batted an eye to now, like they've even grown with the times, you know, my parents are a lot older, like little things. Like I don't want my daughter walking home from school, you know? And I walked home from elementary school, middle school, elementary, halfway through my grandmother walked me.

But once I was like in, I think fifth grade, I was walking home already by myself, but you know, younger grades, obviously I was walked, but. middle school, high school. I walked and I do not want my daughter walking now. My mom's like, I know, don't, don't let, don't let her walk home. And I'm like, I, I, I don't tell her that in my mind.

I'm like, you let me walk. You let me walk. Listen, I had a key wrapped around. Yes, yes. And I walked home approximately two miles. I can tell you you. Without a shadow of a doubt, I had two, three, four instances in my childhood, white vans. Do you want me to take you home? Yes. And you know, people still do that though.

They let their kids walk home a lot. My mom won't. No, I can't. And I think, and I'm not judging my mom because it was a different time. And she had no choice probably. She probably didn't have the choice. It was held at the moment. There was a lot of variables. But my point is, is like, when I hear older generations criticize the younger generation, I'm like, don't even go there because she's working nine to five, has to pick up her kid, go home, then no break.

Mommy this, mommy that. You have to cook, you have to help them with their homework, take them a shower, get their school supplies. And if they're in sports, minor in sports, you had to mix, throw that in the mix. Thank you for saying that. You have everything. No, my mom would be like, go outside and play. She cooked dinner.

She put her telenovelas, watched Edie's Chacon. Oh my God. Yes. It was a different, it's like, listen, don't even go. Yeah, that's how I grew up. My mom would come at the streetlight, would come on. You knew it was time to come home. But if you didn't, they'd come down the street, scream your name. And you're like, all right, I gotta go.

I gotta go, gotta go. Yeah, my mom's calling me. Yeah, different time. It's totally different. Now. I don't even want my daughter to walk to the mailbox. Okay. Yes, I can be a little extra, but I don't trust it. I'm sorry. There's too much that goes on in the world, but not just a second. Now your worry, which wasn't our parents worry is I was just going to say, social media is the beast.

It is. Because it's crazy. Kids are kids and they don't know. They don't know. You can't, yeah. You can have the conversation with them over and over. But they're kids. Yeah. Of course. You know, they're making friends and they think, oh, he's my friend. Like, I saw this one guy who showed up at some lady's house.

Yes. The kid invited him playing Roblox. Yes. Like, come to my house, be my mom. And he just pulled, I mean, bro, you know you're talking to a kid, right? What's this, a grown man? Yeah, a grown man pulled up in his truck. He gave him the address and everything. He came, he showed up and the mom was like, uh, what?

Because the kid ran and he pulled up the kids outside playing on his trampoline. And he's like, Oh, you told me to come over. Your mom knows I'm coming over and because to meet your mom, whatever. And he's like, Oh, let me go. My mom, mom, my friends here. She's like, what? So she comes out, she's like, uh, no, you need to leave.

And she's telling the kid to come inside and like lecturing him. Don't give my information to people, blah, blah, blah. But you're a grown ass man. You're talking to a kid. How do you get to his house? What is a grown ass man doing on Roblox? That too. Seriously. That's some scary shit. But kids are kids and they, you know.

And come meet my mom. Obviously, you know it's a kid if he's telling you to come meet his mom. Yes. I mean, I don't know. Thank God nothing happened. I don't think the guy is lying. But you know he's crazy. About his age or whatever, but I mean, it is, but still, you just show up uninvited by the parent. Because the kids that come over.

I'm sorry. 9 1 1. Yeah. That's scary. Strangers danger. It's crazy. It's just a different time. And I think it is. It's a lot of pressure on the parents to keep up with the changes because it is everything's evolving so quickly, especially since we grew up in a different time. So we're like learning a new way to raise our children because we weren't raised in that.

You know, there's things that, you know, there's morals and things like that, that you just teach your kid. That's, that's natural. But these type of things like social media, we didn't have that. So it's like, we're learning ourselves. How to raise them in this world because we didn't have that. So that's new to us, you know, that's the difference because back then, okay, we didn't have social media, but we did start with the internet.

Yes, we did. Right. And then my space. Right. I haven't heard that. Okay. AOL chat. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So you log on and you're on there talking to a stranger. Yes. Chats. Yeah. And chats. Our parents knew nothing. Yeah. And they weren't learning, but with us, like, we, I think for us, for our generation, we're growing up with the times, and we can learn these things.

Yes, I do agree with that, 100%. For instance, like my daughter, as she was growing up, whatever she was doing, I was doing. I'm copying whatever you do. Oh, you're on that? I'm on that. I'm creating an account. And yeah, I'm going to be your friend. And I'm going to watch Finsta. Yeah, I know what Finsta is. Mm hmm.

Fake Insta. Yeah, I'm going to follow you on that too. Yeah. You know, don't, you know, I was all up in there. Yeah. All up in there. You were always like that. And I commend you for that. Big time. Absolutely. And you know, yeah. She called me strict or whatever the case was, but I'm, It's 10 o'clock. Give me your phone.

I agree with that though, because Adriana has a phone and she, I told her it came, it came with the phone. It's like, okay, you want this phone? Plus I want her to have it for emergency reasons and stuff like that. But I'm like, if this, you're getting a phone, but you understand you have no privacy in this phone.

Like I know your password. It's safe. I take away, she doesn't go to bed with it either. Like it's, you know, she has a certain time it cuts off, I get the phone and I don't even like giving it to her in the morning before she gets ready to school because she has this little habit of coming in saying good morning to me and then looking for her phone and I'm like, no, you get your phone when we're leaving to school.

That's when you can take it because you're going to be on it at school because she gets dropped off early, not super early, but with enough time that I know she could still mess around with her phone before class starts, you know, so I'm like, I know you're going to be on your phone. So no. And, and it's hard, you know, because you, you try to control that stuff, but I told her.

Yeah. You, you, this is the rules with the phone. I know your passwords, I can go in, I see your pictures, your text message, I see everything. There is no privacy with this phone. Yeah. And if you don't like that, then you don't get a phone. My daughter's 21 and I'm still like, what's your password? I still do everything.

Yeah. Good. Computer, phone, everything. Yeah. Yeah. I saw a movie and I'm like, no. I need to know who your friends are. Like, even now, because, you know, I have her on Life 360, I've had that for a while, and I'm tracking her every move, and I know where you're going. Yeah, that's a good app. Yeah, you're 21, I get it, but I need to know where you are, who you're with, and what you're doing.

Doesn't mean you stop watching out for her just because now she's 21. No, it's just a different lookout. Right, she goes away, I'm like, text me when you get back to the hotel, text me when you leave, text me where you're going. I just need, I just need details. Right. If you go missing. I have details. Exactly.

You know. What am I supposed to say? Oh, I don't know. I haven't seen her since yesterday. I talked to her in the last 24 hours. I don't know what city she went to. She just said she was going. I know. And when I talk to my kids, I mean, on top of that, you know, I do explain to them why, you know, let's have the discussion.

Yes. I like to give them the why. Yeah. Yeah. I do. I'm like big on why. Mm hmm. This is why. And my daughter's always like, but mom, and I'm like, no. I mean we do. She's like, oh, you're being dramatic. No, I'm not being dramatic. No, you're not. No. You watch the news. You know what I mean? My daughter, many things can happen.

Let's talk about wine. This is why I like U and I track her on my phone. Yes. And I'm like, listen honey, I give you independence and privacy. I give you, I give you a lot of things, but you're going to give me this. I want to be able to track your phone. I'm not going to be that mom that's checking every single thing.

No, of course not. But I want to, I want to be able to get on my phone. And if I, if I call you two, three times and you don't answer the phone and I'm like, I at least want to know that you're at Chick fil A. And she's like, no, mommy, that's more than fair. And that's what I'm saying. Like, it doesn't matter if they're 20, 21, 22.

Like, that's, they feel loved. Yeah. Yes. Girl, I'm in my forties and my mom still, if I travel or she knows I'm out late or she knows me and my family are going to Orlando, she's still with the call me when you get there to send me a message. I just want to know you arrived. That doesn't stop. It's just, it's, it's, it's love.

And it's just, you know, you want to know your children are safe. It's okay. Or the people that you love are safe. If you're a mom and you're listening, it's okay to do that. Yes. Do it. And believe it or not, they appreciate it. Yeah. Because, you know, she was a teenager in high school, whatever, she complained, but after she graduated, we were talking and having conversation and she's like, I appreciate that.

You know, I felt like you, you know, You cared. I mattered. Right. You cared. Yeah. Not that the other parents didn't care. It was just Their mind frame is just different. Right. Yeah. And, you know, I, yeah, I grew up in a different time and, Well, let's keep it real. Latinos are like, you're 18. It's unimportant. Oh, yeah, my mom.

18? You're an adult. Ay, por favor. Yeah, you don't even know how to wash your nangas. You don't even [00:40:00] know how to wash your bloomers. My mom in her 80s, even before she passed away. Where are you? Yeah. Where'd you go? Yeah. And I'm, mom, really? Yeah. She'd say, I'm out. My mom calls me when it's pouring outside. I'm like, what?

Is it raining over there? She acts like, I'm like 40 minutes from her, which I wish I was closer, but still 40 minutes. I'm like, mom, I'm not like hours away. Yes. If it's raining by you mean, yes, we do live in Florida. It could be raining in my backyard, not in my front yard. But I'm like, yeah, mommy, like me, mom, I call her me, mom, like the sky is blue.

dark everywhere. Like, yeah, the weather over here, I'm not that far from you. And then if it's pouring, Ten cuidado, ustedes no van a salir, right? Like, you're not going to go out and drive and it's rain. And ten cuidado con la niña. It's like, it doesn't stop. It doesn't stop. You know why I'm laughing? Because my mother in law lives next door.

Oh my God. She does. You ever seen that show? So she still keeps track. Everybody loves Raymond. Oh, yes. Debra and Raymond and then across the street lives his parents. That's Like, literally my life. Okay. I'm basically Deborah. Um, so when I come to Red Lips, my mother in law would tell my husband, Oye, y dónde vayas, min?

Mima, todos los martes ya salen. Todos los martes. Todos los martes, mija. Y no llega hasta las 12 de la noche. Mija, tú no sabes dónde ya van los martes. And he's like, Mima, ella está haciendo una cosa con, tú sabes, los teléfonos. I can't see. She has no fucking idea what a podcast is. I know, how do you explain that?

Con tú la crees? She's an operator at the switchboard, line one, line two. So now she's thinking that I'm like, Like you're a telemarketer? Golfing. Migue, that's not his name, but that's what she calls him. Aww. Migue, you don't know where I am. Hey, keep an eye on him every Tuesday. Ella se va, por horas, y regresa a las doce de la noche.

Migue, ponle voz a tu esposa. Oh my God. And I'm like, this is, it's always, he, is he Raymond? Yeah. My husband's Raymond. So that's your baby. And he's like, Mima, Jazmine, Jazmine está bien. Yo no sé I love that you say Mima because a lot of Cubans call their, their moms Mima. And I called my grandmother Mima and my grandmother lived with me and may she rest in peace.

I miss her so much. And I always, in my house grew up, no, no lie. I was always like Mima. And then one would answer and I'd be like, no, I grew up with, my mom was Mima and me and my mom's, that was my dad's mom and my mom's mom. I call her Mima too. On Wednesdays, the next. day because you know we usually get together on Tuesdays and that's just in case if you're a fan it's Tuesdays for us.

Um, so on Wednesdays I go over for coffee for breakfast in the morning and she'd be like, Ay! Ay! Bienvenida! Bienvenida Yasmin que viniste a visitarnos! Porque tu estabas bien busy. Because she doesn't know a lot of English. But when she says an English word, the emphasis because you are busy, yes or no, yes or no, yes or no.

But that's just the way of like, they show you love, they love you, they want to protect you. And, uh, yeah. Um, that's a way of planting seeds. Really? Yeah. What do you mean? I just feel like. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we do to plant seeds. You know what I mean? Like, if our kids look and be like, okay, my mom paid attention, you know, that kind of thing.

Or she worried about me. Those are the seeds that we're planting in them. And they have like that inner voice. There's all, there's purpose to everything that we say to them. It's that inner voice that they have. That's why I always say like the communication that you have with your kids, planting seeds.

And all of that, even with this whole social media thing, we can't control what they see. We can't control how times are progressing right now, you know, and, you know, times are changing and it is what it is and, and our kids are going to grow with time. But as long as we communicate. and plant our seeds because that's what we do when we worry about them, when we ask them where they are, when we ask them who they're going to be with.

It's planting seeds. Yeah. I agree with you 100%. I'm glad you said that because you're, you're saying planting seeds and Monica earlier had mentioned her daughter saying, mom, like, You were like the only one. And I've had those special moments with, um, my daughters too, where they're like, God, mom, I remember.

I'd be like, oh, my mom is so annoying. My mom is this, my mom is like, where are you going? My mom would get out of her car, walk into the house, see who the fudge was in there, walk around the house. You know, like, that's true. That's what I did. But you know that when my friend, I don't mean to cut you off, sorry, but when my daughter has a friend coming over for the first time and the mom comes, you know, it's only been a few of them.

I'm very like, do you want to go upstairs and see like where the girl's rooms are at? Like, I want them to feel comfortable because if I'm leaving my child somewhere, like I want to know what your house looks like. Yeah. You got a second floor. What's up there? Like, you know what I mean? Like, I just don't want to come to the porch and be like, okay, and let my child did not have no idea what your house looks like.

So I'm glad your mom did that because it should be done. I mean, I, I, that's what I did for, for my daughters and my mom did that too, of course. And now that they're adults, because they're, one is, um, going to be 21 and the other one's 23. And now, now it's where they're communicating with me now because before I was like, they weren't planted because it's just like, and she'd be like, mom, like I talked to some of my girlfriends in college and like their parents don't give a, and you're like calling me making sure I got home safely, that I got my food.

Did you get your groceries? Yeah. And how was your day? What did you do? Yeah. If you call me, I call my daughter without an exaggeration four or five times a day. And sometimes some of my roommates are like, Oh, I haven't talked to my mom in two weeks. Yeah. No, seriously. It could be cultural. It could be cultural too.

But at the end of the day, some parents may feel like I need to give them their space. You don't know what the reasons are. And I'm not here to judge. I'm just saying it for me, it's like that's, that's my love language. My love language is making sure that I let you know I'm thinking about you, that I love you, that are, are you safe?

Are you not feeling well? I know when my daughter didn't go to the bathroom. TMI. But you know, like she's like, oh, mom, my stomach, you know, and you know, and it's like, that's how I was raised. So it is, you know, you, you kind of repeat what you know, but it is cultural too. But I don't know. I just feel like your kids can say you're annoying, but they want that.

Yeah. I think deep down inside they do. They do. They do. Because it's natural for a kid to be like, ah, mom, you're annoying me. But they know. They know. I remember seeing on Instagram recently a professor that. His kids were coming into class, and he, he just stopped them. When's the last time you talked to your mom?

When's the last time we, yeah. And so some, like, this morning, yesterday, last night. I don't remember calling your mom. Yeah, it was so cute. I was like, aww. He's like, and then he turns the camera to himself. Parents, I'm looking out for you. Oh, that is so cute. Somebody on TikTok did that with a bunch of football players.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You're right. Grown men asking them when the last time they talked to their momma. Surprisingly, yeah, a lot of them were like this morning, yesterday, today. Yes, and I love that. Wow. One guy was like, I'm gonna call my momma again. It That's so sweet. Yeah. So you know what? If you're young and listening to us, call your mama.

Call your mama. But yeah. The social media is the good, the bad, and the ugly, and you can always take the bad and be like, Oh, it's this and it's that, but it's changed the world and it's not going to go anywhere. But at the end of the day, if you have little ones, it is a parent's responsibility to teach them right from wrong and etiquette, right?

There needs to be a little etiquette. That's a good word. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. behind a keyboard saying whatever is, you're going to say that is a reflection of yourself. Right. So if you're going to say something mean, would you say it to their face? Right. Would you say that to her face, his face, or to that child?

Probably not. So why are you going to type that? Right. I, I like, I like that. I saw that on social media one day and I was like, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's It's so true. It is. It's very true. Because most of the time we would never say that to someone's face. Right. Yeah. And a lot of the, uh, coming back to etiquette, like all these kids that are posting these fake threads and stuff or whatever they feel, like that's going to damage your life.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a felony. Don't pretend. Think about what you're going to post. Yeah. Like all these, uh, social media threads about shooting a school or whatever. Just cause, oh, I was trying to be funny. No. Like, No, we need, nothing's funny about that. Take it back. No, it's not. Yeah. Yeah. And that's another, like you said, like it's, it's a, like you said, it's a felony and stuff.

And you got to think as young kids, anything you post, even, even Snapchat, they think because the video disappears after what, 24 hours? Yeah. It's out there. It's out there. Forever. Anything you post, anything. anything you do, be cautious, think twice about it, you know, but I'm going to jump in here and say something because we're always talking about kids.

We need to teach kids, but I'm going to tell you something. The meanest shit that has ever been said to me have been my older baby boomers. Yeah, I believe. Yes. Because they don't have social etiquette either. Yeah. So I think people who are in that. age bracket of like baby boomers and like really young.

They're like the same, but once you get into like millennial or like Gen X, we tend to be a little bit more and even Gen Z, right? I think Gen Z is even more careful on what they say because they grew up with it from day one. Gen X is kind of still a little bit more hip and kind of like, you know, we, we grew up a little bit with the internet, but not too much.

And, um, yeah. Millennials they, they did, but they, you know, they're like in betweeners and stuff. But I'm telling you the meanest shit that has ever been said to me have been by baby boomers. So that says a lot. I think that says a lot about how it jumped from sixties and children. Yeah. It's very easy to hide behind the internet.

It is. Yeah. It is. That, that, that is so true. Yeah. People don't think twice to say something because they're like, well, they don't know who I am. They don't know where I am. Whatever, whatever. I can say whatever the hell I want. Meanwhile, they posted pictures. Yeah. Where they work. Right. Oh, yeah. And they're not on private.

So you can. They're not on private. Where they work. Where their grandchildren go to school. Yeah. Oh, that's not smart. People should be a little bit more careful about those things. And then you got somebody in the background like, oh, her name is Anne Marie Margaret. She works at FPNL. And her granddaughter goes to so and so elementary and is like, bro.

Yeah. That's scary. They're. You gotta be careful what the fuck you say. Yeah, it's like the FBI, so having like people on social media like the FBI, yeah, you can find out anything like the one guy that was, uh, he owns, uh, I don't know, like a little restaurant or coffee shop bakery, whatever it was, and he had a social, um, Uber driver or DoorDash, whatever.

picking up an order. I don't know what happened. I just saw the video where the guy's yelling at him saying, speak English, speak English. And he's in his face and the whole night. I mean, bashing him for not speaking English driver in his face. Yeah. The Uber driver, the restaurant owner, or whatever this was awful.

He was awful. It was crazy, but like, two comments in, they're like, Oh, that's so and so from this restaurant in this city. Oh yeah, that's it. He was all over the freaking place. Yeah. Yeah. This is crazy. It's crazy how much information you can get from the internet. It's wild. Why do you put yourself out there?

Yeah. I know we talked about this privately, but it's like, you know, I've, I've had the privilege to be able to travel to other countries and I've met some of the most beautiful people who speak many different languages and it's inspired me to want to speak other languages. I've been to France three times and never once did I have one person come up to me and say, Yeah.

And, or I spoke Spanish and English, speak French. No. Right. Because you heard different languages. Exactly. And I don't know what it is about the United States that infuriates people when they hear different languages that are not their own. I hate that. I hate that. That drives me crazy. It makes me sad.

Yeah. It does. It makes me sad. It's something that I, it's like a hate. Yeah. Yeah. And then hate spreads on social media. Yes. Yes. Because I don't know if you're going to agree with me, but I grew up in the nineties. We grew up in the nineties. And man, we used to hang out with black people, went to black clubs, Latinos, white girls, like Asians.

Like it was, and we were like a melting pot and we were like, we, we just hung out together. Yeah. There wasn't, there wasn't an issue. There wasn't. You didn't even question it. And I'm like, how the fuck. Did we go back instead of go forward? So I don't want to get political, but it's like it was better in the nineties and early two thousands than than it is in twenty twenty four.

How the fuck did we get here? Yeah, social media, social media. It's it's creating a divide and like blacks, this white, this Asians, this Indians, this. And I'm like, it was a better time in nineteen ninety five because I look at old pictures of of our crew. There was black people, white people, Asian people, Latinos, of course more Latinos because let's keep it real.

Middle Eastern. Middle Eastern. Yeah. I was just going to say that. And now today you see whites with whites, blacks with blacks, Asians with Asians. And I'm like, how the fuck did, did we go back instead of move forward? And it's social media. I, I, I agree with that. Yeah, for sure. Social media. Mm hmm. Good, the bad, the ugly.

Yeah. You take a newborn child and put that newborn child in a room, let's say the baby is, um, white, just to say something, let's say the baby is white, and you put the baby in a home with black people. The baby doesn't know hate. No. Of course not. The baby. It's taught. It's taught. It's taught. It's taught.

Hate is taught. One hundred percent. What you say in front of your kids, they're listening. But if you teach your kids to hate, that's what they're going to know. [00:54:00] Even how you react in public with the situation. If your children are there and you're seeing that you mistreat them. Waitress, the cashier, or just somebody that like, you know, did something in a store that pissed you off.

Like your children are watching it. You're showing them how to react. I'm glad you said that because let's say you had a bad waitress for whatever reason she gave you, or he gave you bad service. You're like, man, that, that waitress was bad. Or that server was bad right? Because it could happen. OK, but if you were to say and excuse me, this triggers anyone because that's not what I mean.

I'm just trying to set an example. But imagine if you said that black waitress was terrible or that Indian waitress was terrible or that white that. See, when you put the race in front, why are you doing that? Why can't you just say, this was pretty bad service, instead of saying that service was bad because of the person's race.

The person's race had nothing to do with it. It was just, you got bad service. And it's those, those are the little things that we can do better. We can, we can just say, don't do that. It has nothing to do with race. Maybe it's just the person or the experience. I don't know if you agree with me, but that's what I'm trying to say.

No, I agree with you, but that's the thing with parents today that we are teaching our kids, right? What we know. Right. But we're also competing with the internet. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. We can't stop what they see. We can't stop what they see. That is so true. It's such, so well said, but we control what they learn at home.

Yes. And that's where I kind of go back with the planting seeds. And love begins at home. Right. Because I remember my daughter in school, middle school, you have a certain belief or values. You have certain values in your home that you teach your kids, your family, and then you send them out to school.

Everything's fine at home, but then you send them out to school and when you get them back, It's like you got to reprogram them. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, no, it's true. You have to do it over. Yeah, because they they've gone out. So if they have access to the Internet, social media, and they're in school with their friends and they're showing each other these things that you wouldn't allow at home, but in school, you can't control that because you don't know what you you're not there.

Right, right. So they're in school and they're sharing this, that, and the other on social media, attitudes, experiences, whatever the case is. They get home and then they start bringing that into the picture and you're like, hold up. We don't do that in this house. Let's start over. And you're starting over.

It was constant with my Especially a teenager. Right, but that Especially a teenager though. But that's you, that's you listening. Yeah. You're listening because they start talking and then you're like, hold on. What do you, what is it that you know? You hear words in their conversations and trigger something in your mind.

But not even just that, it's just like the attitude. That's right. Like everything just comes, you know. Right. Hold on. We don't talk like that. Yes. Yeah. Exactly. You don't talk to me like that. No. Right. Exactly. Yeah. So. Oh. It has to do with. The friends for sure, what they're seeing and the hormones. That's why it's a bad combination because they're still kids.

Like you said, it's like kids are going to be kids. They're learning. So then they just come back and then it's like, okay, well you had, you had a bad day. You didn't have a bad day or you think you could talk to me like that? It's hard. Yeah. You got to like re restart. So that was back then when we had a little more control, right?

Cause I had, I had more control. Yeah. Social media. Yeah. Now I just. I can't even imagine my daughter being young in this day and age. Yeah. There's so many apps. With social media and all the, like I can't. Well, my daughter can't download an app unless we put in a password. So her phone has restrictions. So that's one thing I can't control right now.

You know what I mean? So for parents that don't know that, like you have your phone, your child has a phone, you can put restrictions on there. Her internet has a restriction for an age group. But that doesn't mean that she can't. Something can't slide through or she can't see something, but you try to put those restrictions as best as you can.

So her search engine has a restriction age. Her Netflix has a restriction age. But again, you can only do that at your home. Exactly. When they go out and they have a friend that has a phone and they see all that. Oh, 100%. It's like, yeah, it's hard. It's hard. But I mean, social media. Yeah, of course. Bad, good, bad, ugly.

But like you said, it definitely does have good things. Yeah. You know, I enjoy some of the things on there, positivity stuff, motivation, recipes. It keeps us informed, yeah, for sure. But sometimes I don't want to be so informed. No, you're right. It's right in your face. Sometimes it's like every 10 seconds I know what's going on, and sometimes I don't want to know everything.

See, and that's the thing, it's like, sometimes I feel the same way, and I'm like, do I just follow these certain people that I'm following? So Things don't always pop up or just take a break from it because, you know, your feed is what you're following and then the more things that you click on, Oh no, there's advertisements that come through for sure, but your phone is listening to you.

Oh yeah, it is. It's 100 percent listening to you. You're like, wait, what? What is, why am I seeing this when I'm just talking about it? I know that for a fact because I was looking for new lamps for my bedroom, like the nightstand, nightstand lamps. And I was like, Oh babe, I think I want to get new lamps. And he was like, okay, you know, so I'm looking and I'm like, Oh, maybe I should get these like Ralph Lauren ones that I saw that were blue.

But like, we're having this time. And my husband's like, yeah, I mean, while he's like, I don't give a shit, like whatever you want, you know? So we're having this whole discussion about these nightstand lamps and I grabbed my phone and I opened Google and I started getting all these fees on Ralph Lauren nightstand lamps.

And this was on my phone. I wasn't on your phone yet. I was just talking to him in our bedroom and it was already on my phone. So yeah, that's very real. That's happened to me too. Yeah. Yeah. It's very real. So I mean, we could be here for hours and, uh, at the end of the day, yes, social media has positive. For sure.

And I enjoy it. I'm not going to lie and say I don't enjoy it and I don't find good things. Things about it. Yeah. You know, it definitely helps people with the creative side. Like you were saying, you know, [01:00:00] like the home stuff that I like to do. So that's like a positive thing for me. You know what I mean? I love home decorating.

It's something that inspires me. I just love making things look beautiful. So me being able to put those things out there, which I would love to do more of that. I mean, just following people that do that. That makes me happy, you know, like I see those, those type of feeds that I see. I'm like, okay, it's, it's makes me happy and inspires me, you know, cooking, you know, whatever, whatever anybody is into and inspires you, you know, healthy eating.

I know we talk about like working out and healthy eating and we can't always get there, but you do get inspired. Sometimes it does the opposite. When you're not actually taking action in the inspiration that you're feeling, then you start with the, well, you know, now I feel like, right, that's okay too. I mean, you just have to have boundaries, I think.

It's the boundaries and knowing that I've been scrolling for too long. I'm human. I've seen women that are my age or a little older and they look like they're 35 when they're, you know, 48 or 50. And they have these like, abs, and they're eating like cauliflower. And, and I'm like, and then I start to feel like maybe a little ashamed of, of myself.

And I'm like, yeah, but that's her. God bless her. She's gorgeous. She's beautiful, but I'm okay being me. Yeah. I'm going to enjoy my pizza. And I'm going to enjoy, I'm going to enjoy this chicken wing. You know, but, but yeah. It's like, but sometimes you find inspiration in it. Yes, yes. You know, of course you can't, course, you can't take, take away in the, the inspiration.

You can't. And sometimes it try, you know, you try to put that discipline in, you know, you do get positive things from it. Absolutely. You know, but then there's other times where you're like, I'm not gonna let it make me feel bad about myself. Mm-Hmm. Course, you know, that's the, the boundaries that you're talking about.

Yeah. Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. Yeah. I just saw a post, um, I think it was yesterday, the day before. I can't remember her name, but. She's, uh, I think she's Indian, and she, she does skits with her husband, but she doesn't show her husband. I know who you're talking about. But she, I guess they did something for her birthday, it was like all her family and friends, 40 something people hanging out together, and she posted a video of herself dancing and having a good time.

The girl's beautiful. She is. Like, there's nothing wrong with her, but she, for whatever reason, got some negativity, negative comments on the video. Those are haters. Yeah. Lose weight, gain weight. What? She was, I mean, there's nothing. I mean, thin, everything. She's beautiful. Beautiful. And she took that, and she reposted her little, like, picture with a little statement saying, I got these comments, negativity, whatever.

I didn't post that. My video for you or for them. I was happy. I was having a good time. I posted it for me, you know, she was being Positive about it. Mm hmm So if you ever feel uncomfortable about posting videos and pictures of yourself because of how you you know How you look you may not be you may be afraid don't be afraid if you're happy and you're in the moment And you want to show you want to share it Share it Because you're not sharing it for them, it's not for them, it's for you.

You're just sharing happiness and for yourself. I thought that was like the most amazing thing, that just like how she's just pushing people to just do what you want, how you feel. Right. Love yourself. Bottom line. I love you. Jasmin. I love you you're a content creator, so I think that goes for you. Oh, Because I know you get some post.

I get mean stuff a lot. Yeah, I do get a lot of mean stuff, but I don't believe it anymore. Because I have, well, Red Lips has helped me with my self esteem. You're beautiful. Thank you. Thank you very much. And, um, I feel comfortable, but I'm older too. And it's taken me a long time to get here. I just worry about the young youth.

Right. You can't expect what we know and what we feel and the confidence that we have ascertained to be in a child, right? So that's where parents need to step in. But you know, self love is important. Yes. One hundred percent. Feeling good about yourself and not comparing yourself to another person. Which can easily be done.

Yeah. Easily. Easily. You know, and, and reach out to like, if you're feeling bad about yourself, reach out to people who are going to like, you guys always like, damn, I leave here and I'm like, shh.

I love me. I look good. Because you guys do that for me. So I thank you from the bottom of my heart. So yes, social media is not going anywhere. It's great. Sometimes it's not that great. And sometimes it's really bad. But at the end of the day, so long as we set healthy boundaries. And if you have little ones, you teach them the best that you can within you.

Yeah. Little ones, teenagers, you know, and we have to remember too that not everything that's on there is reality. No. These people are going to show you what they want you to see. And now that we have AI, that too, that's a whole other level. It's changing. It's changing. Yeah. Let's not talk about those robots that are coming into people's houses from that movie.

You know that show, um, Black Mirror on, um, Jesus, what's it called again? Netflix. Black Mirror. Never seen it. If you don't know why it's called Black Mirror, look at your phone. When it's turned off and it's black and it looks like a mirror, that's why it's called Black Mirror. Fun fact. Anyway, there's a show, it's a lot of different shows, a lot of different series, and one of the scariest ones was called Metalhead, and I won't get into it too much just in case people want to watch it.

Um, I think. Black Mirror is amazing, but it's like these robot dogs and their sole purpose is to eradicate the human race. Wow. Wow. And those dogs already exist, so let that sink in. That's crazy. Okay. Oh. And with that. And with that. Follow us on Instagram. And with that, just remember to keep healthy boundaries with social media.

Find the positive in it. And when you start feeling that you're taking in negativity, just, you know, do like Maritza, give yourself a time to cut off, which is a very healthy boundary. It's true. It doesn't mean it needs to be at 6 p. m. It could be, it could be whatever time works for you. Everybody's schedule is 10, 3 p.

m. Right? Maybe you don't go in the morning and you go at night. Whatever fits your schedule. Just sometimes I send Deibys a meme, it could be two days later, but it's. It's always at 10 to 30 p. m. And she'll be like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I don't put ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And if you're a person that likes to share, share.

Yes. Don't let anybody make you feel bad about it. No. And you know what's nice about sharing and posting, which I haven't posted in a little while, but I like to go back and look at my posts. It's like your own little library of your special moments. You know, your life. Yes. You're posting special moments that happened to you throughout the day, things that made you happy or you had a cute picture of yourself or an encyclopedia of, yeah, so it's fine to share.

You know, I definitely go back and look at my stuff and sometimes I think to myself, well, when I'm in my eighties, maybe these things that we're talking about today no longer will exist. Yeah. Um, I don't, I mean, I don't know, but, um, like I think about our podcasts and I think about. my silly TikToks and things like that.

And I'm like, when I'm no longer here, maybe when my daughters are 50 years old, they'll be like, let's watch mommy. Right, you leave these memories behind. Let's watch mommy's recipe. Yeah. Or let's watch mommy, you know, when she got dressed up for her birthday. Or let's, let's listen to. Mommy's podcast. Yes.

Yeah. Yes. You know, and I think about those things because I wish I, I knew my mom at 25. Yeah. Yeah. So you're leaving like a record. Yeah. I wish I knew my mom at 40. Yeah. Yeah. And I hope that I could be that for my daughters. Yeah. Sometimes I wish we were doing those things when Yeah, we were younger. Like, yeah, I know social media is, but I don't know if you've ever seen that commercial with the Google.

Um, I guess the guy has a, they have a daughter, a newborn, and he starts, he creates an email. Yes. And he starts making recordings and emailing her. A little snippet, a little story with the recording or with the picture. And it's a memory. And he gives it to her on the wedding, on her wedding day. But it's, it's a digital memory.

Yes. That I wish I would have thought of that. That's awesome. Because then, you know, you have all these memories when you're not here, your kids can look back and see like, Oh, that was my mom. So social media. Yeah, for sure. If it's still here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. That's not forget. I never thought about that perspective.

Thank you. And it connects people, you know? I wish I knew my mom at 40. Yeah. I do. Like, I have a few pictures of her. Of course. We have pictures. Yeah. Yeah. But they don't share. I would have. They don't. It's a generation. Thank you for saying that. You gotta ask them. It's even sometimes when you ask. Yeah. I know.

But I mean, you can. Right. But they don't just share. We share. People are raised differently. Yeah. And with that said, sometimes I. I just wish I could talk to my mom when she was 40 so [01:09:00] I could know who is my mom. Right. And I think about those things sometimes when I overshare because sometimes I go, am I oversharing?

But I'm like, I don't know. I think, I think when my, when my daughters are in their 40s, they're gonna be like, Oh, that was mommy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to cry. I love you girls. Love you. Yeah. This was fun. It was fun. To anybody listening, just remember to love yourself and self love and don't let people who hurt your feelings, um, hurt you.

Don't believe them. Yeah. Because it's not true. No. And it's okay to feel your feelings. The important thing is feel it. Dust yourself off. Shake it off and get right back up. Because we're only human and we can't say that it wouldn't hurt, but it's knowing how to not let it affect you and just shake it off and being like, you don't know shit.

And then at the end. At the end of the day, share it. Don't share it. Either way, it's okay. It's okay. And find, find connection. I mean, social media is also about finding community connection. You know, like it's fun to find people that relate to things you do and just find connection. So it's good. Aw. All right, guys.

Well, I love you girls. May God bless you and Hasta la proxima! Thank you for listening. Make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss an episode. We will be dropping an episode every two weeks. Oh, yeah. No, like seriously, subscribe now. So just chill to the next episode. Follow us on Insta and TikTok.

Hasta la proxima!