A Mother's Fight To Keep Her Daughter

 On this episode of Red Lips Real Talk podcast the host are joined by “Rebecca,” a former U.S. Marine. She shares her gripping story of love, sacrifice, and survival. After her husband’s deportation, she uprooted her life to keep her family together—only to face betrayal, isolation, and escalating abuse in a foreign country. Stripped of financial control and nearly trapped with her child, she made a bold, calculated escape to Europe. Her story is a powerful warning about preparation, awareness, and the fight to protect your freedom. 

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Transcript

You are listening to the Red Lips Real Talk podcast where we talk about life, love, and everything in between. You already know it's time to get real.

We often believe that strength protects us, that intelligence protects us, that discipline, training, and life experience protect us from making risky decisions. But sometimes the greatest risk does not look like danger. It can look like love. It looks like loyalty. It looks like keeping your family together at all costs.

Our guest today is a former United States Marine, born and raised in New York. She's highly trained, highly capable, and she is someone who understands strategy, risk, and consequence. She fell in love with a man who was living in the United States as a legal resident. They got married and together they built a life and welcomed the daughter.

Also born in New York after her husband was arrested for breaking the law. He was deported to his home country in the Middle East, but that's when everything changed. For security reasons, she will remain anonymous and her name has been changed, but her story is very real and very raw. Today's show is about reclaiming your power, raising awareness that love alone is never enough to sacrifice your life.

Please note this show includes moments of verbal and mental abuse, which may be triggering to some of our listeners. So with that, let's give a warm welcome to Rebecca. Hi, Rebecca. Hello ladies, for having me. Welcome, welcome. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Thank you for being here, telling us your story.

Mm-hmm. I appreciate that. Tell us a little bit about yourself. Well, um, I'm a, like we say, proud Latina from New York. Born and raised, um, from a single mother, um, household, um, you know, the basics. New York running around, you know, nine to five, working, going to school on your own. You know, it's not easy coming from a single parent home.

Um, watching my mom, um, struggle to get food on the table, um, and, you know, keep on going and persevering day to day. Um, I went to school, worked at the same time, put myself through college, joined the military. And, um, you know, just live a basic life, you know, and never imagining that with the world away.

Yeah. Did you always know you wanted to be a Marine? Yes. Really? What was, what was the calling for? Like what did you feel? Well, I remember being young, watching GI Joe, so people, I thought I was GI Jane. Wow. Um, and I just love, you know, again, not to sound so weird, I love guns. I, you know, it was just something, I guess a power thing and Yeah.

You know, and I imagine protecting, I just have this thing of, I, I think it's a tourist thing, but, uh, you know, I love protecting and, you know, I used to watch those shows and Yeah. Say, you know, I wanna join the military. Wow. And if I'm gonna join, I'm gonna join the best branch. Yes. You know, no, no, no disrespect to anybody but, uh, the Marines, you know, and I think people say, oh, you know, no, go to the Navy.

You know, go to something more, you know, more for women. Mm-hmm. Say, no, no, I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna do this all way. And I'm. You know, the, the hardest one, which is the President zone Marine. Yes. Yeah, that's exactly what it is. It's very hard to become a marine and a female marine at that. So congratulations.

Yes. Kudos to you. You're a tough cookie. Thank you for your service. Thank you. Yes, thank you for your service. So now fast forward, how did you meet your ex? So, um, I had just gotten back from the military and I went into doing cocktail waitressing at a cabaret. Um, and, you know. He happened to, he was, uh, friends with the owner.

He used to do business. He used to sell some merchandise and clothing. And he sat at my bar and you know, like you say, Hey, you know what, can I get you? And from there we just locked eyes and uh, to me he was so exotic. Just Did you feel like Cupid hit your heart? Like it was love at first sight? Kind of.

Kind of, yeah. He was exotic. He was older. He was just so Well, no, like this older gentleman. Yeah. And he goes, he was handsome. Yes. And he bought me champagne. Wow. He is like, you know, he goes, what you wanna drink with me? I say, Hey. I say, okay. He goes, so get whatever you want. Nice. He. Oh, don't say that. You know, I'm a waitress, you know, this is my bar.

And he said, whatever you want. And I was like, okay, well I want champagne. He goes, then go for it. Okay. You know, so, and you know, we exchanged numbers and that was it, you know? Yeah. It was, you know, it was, so you started like a love affair. You were dating. How long were you dating for before you ultimately got married?

Oh, uh, that's a, well we were dating for officially, we got married in 2003. Okay. And then we had a huge wedding, you know, 'cause weddings take a lot of money. Yes, they do. So and so officially, we got married on the books. So we went to the court in 2003. And then in 2006 we had our wedding. Okay. So, yeah, so it was a big, beautiful wedding.

It was a different wedding. It was not what I really wanted. But when at the moment you're like, you know, lemme just go with it, you know, okay, I want, this is something different. You know? It was not the typical wedding that, you know, just get white, you know, I, I, I think I changed like five times. It's, it's the, yeah, it's the tradition, you know?

Yeah. It's the Arabic tradition that you have to change like three or four times I was let inside a box. I mean, literally you don't walk in, they Wow. Bring you in a box. So you had a very, uh, traditional wedding for, and more like on the Arabic side. Is that what I'm understanding? Definitely. Okay.

Definitely. And you were obviously very open to it and accepting of it. Never had a problem. Loved it. You know, I was just like, I felt like a queen, you know? Okay. Um, you know, I was just being fussed over. They were putting these beautiful. Uh, gorgeous gowns and mm-hmm. And I was being brought in a box and they were singing to me.

I didn't know what the hell they were singing, but, you know, you just go with the moment, you know, I, I loved him and, you know, I was like, oh, you know, this is such a beautiful culture. And it was just, I was in awe. How, how did your family on your side, uh, what, what do you think their perception of that type of wedding was?

Were they open to it? Like you, they, you know, my mom was saying, oh, same Spanish, Aladin. Aladdin, okay. Um, yeah, you know, they were skeptical, you know, because they had heard about certain movie, right. Certain perceptions about, you know, um, the religion itself, Islam and the people, and how sometimes when you mix these kinds of factors, they don't work out.

So they were, but they, yes, they, they, they said it was a beautiful wedding and, you know, but something different. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, so overall, your marriage and the United States, give us an idea, a background of how your marriage was. When you were in the United States together with your daughter?

Um, well, uh, in the beginning, obviously my daughter didn't come till like seven years. It was, yeah, seven years later we met. It was beautiful in the beginning. But then, you know, he had issues already with immigration. So again, you know, things that you say, okay, they're gonna be resolved. It's not gonna be an issue.

And you have that hope, you have that faith that this is gonna work out. You know, I believe in, you know. American. I'm like, no, the justice is gonna prevail. And he's, you know, this is just minor things, you know, silly things that, you know, happened when he was 20. Um, so, you know, I didn't really think much.

Um, we had, uh, hope, but then he was stopped on his way back into the us, which, you know, I understand everybody has, but I think he had already paid for his infraction a long time ago. Okay. And he was stopped. And, you know, and that's when the nightmare began, an immigration nightmare. Um, I never imagined myself in that.

Yeah. But, you know, he is this man and I was not going to leave him. Um, you know, you do the right thing. Yeah. Yeah. Is it okay for us to ask you what it is that he did, or you don't feel comfortable with that question? Um, yeah. No, I mean, it was, you know, again, it was an infraction. You know, he was, I think he was like 20, 21 and you know, his brother with, uh, drugs.

Okay. Not heavy drugs, you know, uh, hashish. And it was just a case that they had, um, come into Canada. The brother was sent back automatically. Okay. Um, but somehow that carried over with him. And, you know. 2021, I think, at the, at the time and mm-hmm. Um, you know, he was kid himself and, you know, you do stupid mistakes.

Yeah. I'm not justifying it. Yeah, no, you're right. Yeah. But he already paid for it, you know? Yeah. I, I just didn't think that you have to pay again. Mm. But not Was he just paying? I was paying too. Yeah. I chose to pay. So that's what love does to you. How old was he when he came to the United States from his country?

Oh, he was, I think 17 or 18. He hustled Wow. Some money in his country. He was selling things like that. And he hustled to get himself here. He was like 17, 18. So, so it's important to say that his entire life in formative years was in Islam and in his country. So he grew up in that, heavily in that environment.

Okay. And his family still lives, like his whole family still lives over there, or are they mm-hmm. Here, the majority lives there. Um, there was only two relatives, well, at that point that, yeah, there was only two relatives that came, uh, he helped that he helped, uh. To come. And once he was here, he was traveling back and forth.

Uh, was it like a consistent traveling back and forth, or? Not really. Okay. He did travel once in a while, you know, because most of the time he was just here. He, you know, he did the wholesale and retail type of thing. Mm-hmm. Uh, so he, yeah, no, he didn't travel a lot, so, no, uh, he was just here. Um, he did send money.

He took care of his family. Uh, that I have to say, he's an excellent son. He would take care of his mom and dad and, you know, you know, being from countries that are not able to provide for themselves, he would provide for them. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So he left the country. Yes. And then they wouldn't allow him back in.

Okay. Yeah. The second time when I met him, yes. So they, no, he came in, he was actually traveling back from his country and he came back and they stopped him and they said, you know, Hey, back in 19 something, you know, and they say, you know, uh, we can hold onto your passport, your residency, and, you know. Uh, you know, you're gonna have to hire a lawyer and come back for this.

And he's like, but why? You know? And at that point, you know, I was like, well, what's happening? You know? He said, you know, it's just, just technical stuff. Don't worry. We'll just hire a lawyer. It's not a big deal. Um, you know, and obviously it was not that simple. Yeah, right. So, um, they deta, they took his residency, they held onto it.

Well, they say we are gonna hold onto it. Mm. And that's exactly what they did. And, you know, the battle began, you know, hiring lawyers, paying all this money and that is a fortune. Oh, I can't even imagine. And at the end, there's no guarantee. Mm-hmm. You know, we, I I, I, I can say truly, we spent over $80,000. I believe you.

Wow. I believe you. And it's just, you know, false hope. Mm-hmm. You know, in the end. And, and you, and you know, you don't wanna compare, but you compare other cases that I've known and I said, you know, my husband okay, just, I mean, I'm not, again, not justifying it, but just something so small compared to other heinous crimes.

And No, there's no way we're gonna win this. Yeah. So, Rebecca, I have a question for you. When did you decide that you were gonna go move to the Middle East to be with your husband, with your child? How did that happen? Um, so in accumulation of years and, you know mm-hmm. Devotion and love and mm-hmm.

Obviously after the marriage and, uh, um, it happened that, um, again. He got into trouble and a misdemeanor. So when you combine that with a prior deportation having to deal with, um, narcotics, if you may call it, yeah. Mm-hmm. Um, that is grounds for deportation. So he, again, all this time we had, you know, we're fast forwarding because at one point, remember he came back, everything was gay.

We hired a lawyer, we went back and forth, back and forth. But until one day they said, no, we're gonna detain you, we're gonna deport you. So he spent three months trying, uh, well they were trying to deport him, um, the lawyer. Did what he had to do. I, I mean, I, I never fought so much in my life. Mm-hmm. But I mean, besides bootcamp.

Yeah. Um, um, again, you know, so God is great in that sense that I just kept faith. He's gonna get out, he's gonna get out. Mm-hmm. Even though a lot of other factors were around, you know, including people from his family and he got out, you know, and, and I say, you know, this, this is it. You know, he's, he's meant for me and there's no way I will leave him.

And I knew if I left him, he would've been deported because with his family that was trying to help him, quote unquote, was not Mm. You know, sadly to say sometimes the people closest to you are the ones that stab you. And that's what was happening back. Yeah. Yeah. And at that moment, I said, I can't leave him.

You know, I'm not gonna leave him. I know I've only met him a couple of months ago. 'cause, you know, when he was incarcerated the first time in immigration jail, again, based on that prior, um, misdemeanors, um, he was there for a couple of months and I said, I'm not leaving him. You know, uh, I can't, I, I feel bad for this man.

He has nobody. So now fast forward. Many years later, we're talking about seven years later. Um, another misdemeanor, again not justifying it. So he gets arrested and they put him on probation. So what happens is with the probation, obviously you have to go every month. So right now, if you are put in the system that you have probation, they don't even tell you.

They just come and get you. This is a crazy story. The agent, uh, came to pick him up 'cause he told him this afterwards. He goes, um, I came to come and get you at your house and I saw you coming out with your daughter. And I couldn't take you. They said, you know what? I can't do this. So what happened is that they ended up, um, sending him a letter and saying, come to the probation office.

Because at that point, after his arrest date, you know, he paid a fine whatever. Again, it was a misdemeanor and he was on probation. So he would go every month, you know, report, sign, whatever. And then so they sent him a letter, say, you gotta come back. And he felt it. And I felt it. And he said, this letter doesn't seem right.

I said, well just go, you know, you, you always comply. Just go, you know, maybe he goes, why are they telling me to go back again? And it was because the agent had said, you know what, let the probation officer and there, they'll grab him. And I remember that morning that he went and I looked at him and my daughter, she was I think like maybe five, six months.

Yeah. She was a baby. And she grabbed him. She started crying like she felt him that he was leaving. 'cause it was really early in the morning. And she looked at him and she just looked at him and he just looked at her and I looked at him, I'm like, oh my. God, this is terrible. I'm like, God, please don't let him go away.

And my daughter just started crying, like going with her hands. Mm-hmm. You know, like, I don't know. I mean, she felt it. Yeah. They've always such a strong bond. And he grabbed and he just like, you could see him tearing. So she was very, she was a baby? Yeah, she was a baby. Wow. She was a baby. Okay. And then she, you know, uh, obviously he put her down.

He just looked at me. He left and that's when they detained him. Okay. Immigration came to do. Office. Yeah. And they took him from there. Okay. Um, again, you can imagine my state of mind. Yeah. You know, I had a business to run daughter brand new. Uh, what type of business did you have? We had, uh, clothing, wholesaling, retail.

Okay. Uh, beautiful stuff. Beautiful store in New York. Yes. Yeah. Okay. And, you know, we were successful. You know, we built it over the years we had amazing, uh, customers and it was really hard. Um, that's, that's devastating because that's a whole life that you needed to leave behind, right? For love. Yeah. And, and mind you, at this point I had already, I had already been in the military.

Mm-hmm. Um. I was actually accepted also into the US Marshals for a bit. Wow. And I declined. Um, you know, just the point that I made it, I was like, oh yeah. Mm-hmm. I was picked out of my school how they interviewed us. And so all these things I left because I believed in our business. Uh, we were having a, a wonderful time working together and it just worked.

And you had a baby, you were family, right? Family. It was my husband. It was, you know, we had a family and, you know, and that's, you know, so that, that day it was just one of the worst days. It's just, you know, when you get news that it's just so de it feels like a moment. Just freezes. Mm-hmm. And like the clouds, like the movies, you know.

Darkness comes over you. Yeah. And you're like, oh my God, that's a difficult time because you have a baby, it's your family. It's a very, very dark time. So how long after that happened with your husband, did it take for you to say, okay, I'm leaving the United States and I'm gonna go move with him to the Middle East?

Mm-hmm. Well, at that point we had already discussed, um, if something happens. Mm-hmm. So we had already been putting money towards, in his country to build a house because either way our dream and my dream too, was to go back to his country. I love adventures. I'm like, Hey, let's go. Let's go to Africa. Why not?

You know, let's go live there and, you know, and um, so you had already visited the country? No, we never visit him. 'cause remember, he can't travel. He wasn't able to travel. Oh. So this whole time, you know, our traveling meant going to Florida. Wow. That was like an exotic place to go. Uh, or New Jersey. Mm-hmm.

So we weren't able to travel 'cause he had no papers. The, the, all these years. Mind you, seven years later, this is just tons of fighting back and forth. Yes. No, you're gonna get your papers. No, you're gonna get papers. So it's back and forth. Mm-hmm. Um, so now it got to the point that yeah, there is no more back and forth.

Yeah. He's in jail, he's in immigration. He has an order of deportation and that's it. It's done for, there's no more fighting. So I said, you know what? Okay. So I just had to gear up and take care of the store at the same time because at the same time, I didn't want people to know what was happening. 'cause I was afraid that they would come and rob me.

You know, this is, you know, it's, it's, it's hard to understand the dynamic of the Islamic community within themselves, the way they are sometimes. So if he owed money or somebody owed money, and, and I was just afraid not just for the safety of my store that had, we had already been robbed a couple of years before.

So again, just, I just wanted to keep everything quiet because it's also, you feel ashamed, you feel guilty. So I just wanted to keep quiet, so. Mm-hmm. Thank God I had my mom at the moment. Um, I had my sister and I call her like my sister told her, you need to come here, you need to help me. Mm-hmm. And it was just a matter of, um, time.

And I wanted the time to be short. So I started just packing up everything, packing up everything. I don't know how God's grace, I packed up everything in a container and shipped it out, and I managed to somehow maneuver myself with the ambassador, well, not ambassador, he was a representative of this country and helped us to be on that plane with him when he was getting deported.

Oh wow. Wow. So you actually went with him from day one? Yes. So I didn't that, yeah. So fast forward a month later. Yeah, that was fast, Rebecca. Oh, wow. You know, when you, you know, again, I just. Uh, you know, sometimes God works with you. He's like, God, let's, let's make this happen now. You know? Okay. Yes. Because you know, unfortunate I was fortunate in that sense, but there's so many families out there that Yeah, he's just dragged out for months and mm-hmm.

And the meanwhile it's, it's, it's a nightmare. It's a everyday nightmare. 'cause you don't know what's happening in the facility. Is he eating what's gonna happen the next day? So it's a constant nightmare. Yeah. And I was, I just wanted it to be short. I said, you know, what the hell with this? You know, the, uh, America is, you know, right now being very, uh, to me, you know, you know, it is what it is.

You think that way. You, you justify it's being unfair. You know, you know, we have a business, we making money and it's just not, yeah. So. Okay, no problem. I have to ask you this question, and I hope you're not sure offended by it, but I need to be authentic with the way that I also think as well. But did you do any research whatsoever about legal rights of, for women in the country that you were about to move into?

Um, did you know what the legal rights were for women? I didn't know. Okay. You know, again, uh, uh, a little bit of arrogance sometimes, you know? Yeah. I'm an American, I'm gonna go there and nothing doesn't happen to me. Mm-hmm. Right. You know, that's the first thing. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Second, people had warned me, you know, I had a friend that had an sort of an interaction with a ex that was from, from, you know, from some country in the Middle East.

Okay. And again, you know, Rebecca, be careful with things and you know, you know these people. I say, no, no, no, no, no. And I just, I never believed it. I say, no, we've spoken about this. If things don't work out, which I'm not, I know it's gonna work out, you know, it's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. And besides, I'm an American, my daughter's an American.

We can get up from wherever. Nothing's gonna happen to us. So that's the mentality. But you have, you've met his family while you were with him. Did they ever make you feel a certain way? Because I'm sure you built a relationship with his parents or, yes. Well, when did they ever make you feel a certain way?

Honestly, nothing that sparked a Hmm. A red flag? Yeah. Honestly, never. No, to be honest with you, because remember, we're in the us so they would come over. Mm-hmm. Um, randomly here and there. And the times that I had his, they were on your turf. They were my turf. There you go. So, um, it was different. Yeah. And I really didn't feel anything.

Um, I, I just felt love and I felt a lot of appreciation because, you know, his parents were so grateful. Nice. From the beginning they would say I was his angel. Oh, wow. So they were so grateful. There was a lot of love. Okay. A lot of love. A lot of love. But again, on my territory, right. I'm not on their territory.

It's a big difference. But, you know, again, at that moment, I didn't know, you know, I, I had no clue. How old were you around this time? I think it was around 20, was it 25? So you were a young woman? Yeah. Yeah, I was young. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was young and you know. And, you know, and you just go along, you say, you know, I'm in this, I've, I've gone this far.

Mm-hmm. And I'm not gonna give up. So I'm, I'm almost, I've always been that way. You know, I might start something, I finish it. I don't give up. I'm not a quitter. Well, you're a marine, so Yes. But that's another thing. Yes. So, you know, and, and, and I've always been taught that way. You know, big example of my life is my mom.

She was always, uh, such a strong woman. Never wanted to give up and always kept going. Now it's sad on me. So when you arrived to this country mm-hmm. Tell us what happened from that moment on, from that moment on. Obviously when anybody's deported to another country, there is some procedures. So when we got there, well, first of all, we sat in the plane, which was amazing.

I don't know how that happened, but we made it happen and we sat all together. I remember handing my daughter over to him and it was just like life came back to him. Mm-hmm. And, and my mom was with me too. Um, oh wow. Your mom went with you. I dragged her with me. You know, my mom, you know, I'm in, you know, I'm in.

She was a trooper. She was a trooper. She was amazing. Did your other family members think about what your decision to go, um, did you have support? Um. Not really. Okay. You know, again, my mom and me were just really isolated sometimes in New York. Um, okay. So a lot of our, our, our extended family, they're all over the place, you know?

Right. My mom has such huge family. Yeah. And a lot of other family didn't really know 'cause I didn't really interact with them. Okay. So, um, but yeah. Um, my friends were very hesitant. We support you, we love you, but you know, we just don't. Have you ever seen this movie, you know, again, the movie? Uh, not without my daughter, with Sally Fields.

Yes. Highly recommended. Yes. That movie impacted me as a 15-year-old, and then I saw it again. As an older woman, and it still made me feel the same way. Yeah, yeah. Oh my God. I, I, you know, I still have not seen it. Um, I know you have to watch it. I know. People tell me, and you know, they mentioned that before I was leaving, you know, you need to see.

I was like, no, I don't wanna see it. And sometimes again, you're so blinded, sometimes you are like, I don't wanna see these things, you know, because, you know, I change my mind and Yeah. I'm like, I don't need to see it. This is not gonna happen to me. But Rebecca don't feel alone. A lot of people do that. They don't wanna ask the hard questions or things because they don't, they don't wanna be deterred from what they wanna do.

Yes. You're not alone. And especially being so young. You are young. Yeah. And those women tend to just justify things, you know, say, you know, no, he's like this, so I'm justifying that. He's an amazing man. He's the first one to put the Christmas light, so he's not going to do this to me. He's not a man. So, you know, again, so he was putting up Christmas trees.

Oh. He sat in church with mama. He shared in some of your traditions like a Catholic church? Yes. Wow. In America. He was an amazing man. Okay. He was. He was. He. Depth in, in the depth of him. He was accepting of other of the things that you believed in? Yes. Wow. Okay. Yes. So, and that's why like, it was, so we interchange cultures, religion, and it was a beautiful thing to me.

It was just like, oh wow, I've never had this, you know? Mm-hmm. And it was exciting. And I'm very open-minded, you know, because after all, you know, all religions come from a, from the core of love mm-hmm. Of peace. And, and even though throughout the years maybe it was, you know, sort of direct in different ways, but still, you know, so we shared that and I shared his religion and I even fasted during Ramadan sometimes.

So it was a beautiful thing. Yeah. In America. Hmm. But when you go to another country of that religion and a culture, it's different. It's not celebrated the same. So let's get into that. Mm-hmm. Now, when you are in this country mm-hmm. Did you already immediately have a home set up or did you move in with his family?

Unfortunately, um, it was set up through his family that they were supposed to have, because we got there in the summer. Um, again, we managed to get there in the summer and we were just gonna go straight to the beach and just relax for a bit. Mm-hmm. Um, you know, the beach is such a therapy. Um, somehow, I don't know what happened.

We ended up in this dusty old beach house. Not, not what we wanted. Very different. Um, so we stayed there until our house was built because we were sending money to build a house. So, you know, um, to have a home, just to have a, a backup, but somehow it wasn't constructed because the P person that we trusted stole the money.

Oh, wow. Stole the money. So, you know, how much money are we talking about here? Oh, we're talking about thousands of dollars. Thousands of dollars. Um, so on. Fortunately we had a, well, there was a building that we had already invested where his parents, I would've been devastated. Oh my God. That was already the first red flag girl.

Oh. I was just like, wow. I was like, what? Are you serious right now? I was like, I can't. So we had no home. The, the house was there. The lot was there. The, the structure of the house there was there. Oh, the pool was built. Oh, that was great. Oh, thanks. But okay, thanks for the pool, but what hell are we gonna live?

Right. So they had stolen toilet that stolen so many things. It was just insane. Yeah. Um, the, the house is there was beautiful, but it wasn't built. So we had to stay in this beach house for a little bit until everything got fixed, which would take. Months. So we ended up renting an apartment. Um, of course at that point we had saved up money.

I had carried everything over. Um, and, you know, we rented an apartment, started life, and I said, well, you know what we got. 'cause remember at this point we were waiting for the container, right. With the merchandise from our store in New York that I had packed up. So were you thinking about. Opening up a store in that country?

Yes, ma'am. Got it. Of course there was. That's a lot. Oh wow. Oh yes. And I said, you know, no, we, we cannot take all this merchandise and just leave it. So, or you know, it was our livelihood. So that's exactly what we did. We brought it over. I brought it over. I brought it over, I packed up everything, packed up a house, packed up a store, packed it all up, including my mom, my daughter.

And we left there. And what happened is that we ended up finding a place, um, and we opened a small store just to have, we had started years ago in New York, small room with our, you know, with our brands, with our stuff. And we opened it and, you know, it was a big hit. People loved us. You know, again, he had connections.

He knew a lot of people in the government, um, friends. So a lot of people came over and, and they trusted our brands. They trusted what we bought. Mm-hmm. Um, and it worked out. It was great. So how long, give us a timeframe here of how long you were already there. Was it a year? Six months? Um, okay. So at this point it was, no, a couple of months.

It was maybe two, three months. So we got there somewhere. Everything's moving quickly. It has to, you, you cannot stand still because, you know, here's a different country. I, I can't work, you know, I'm just. Arriving, um, he's just arriving. So we need to secure our stuff ourselves. So we right away looked for the space to put our merchandise and open a store, just at least to get going until we see what was gonna happen.

And we opened, we started selling. Um, but before you knew when people loved our stuff, so we needed more merchandise. So at that point I said, you know, I think we need to start bringing merchandise because more there's, how are we gonna sell? Um, so that's what happened. I started then traveling back and forth, started buying some overstock, uh, merchandise from New York packing containers and, you know, bringing them over to, to the country.

And, you know, it, it worked out well for a while, for a while. Until, you know, things started changing with him. How long were you there that things were good and everything was normal before things changed? How long was that process? Well, initially, you know, things weren't great from the beginning. I mean, not, I'm not talking about between me and him, it was just the country itself.

Right. The mentality, uh, again, arriving that they had already stolen from us, you know? Yeah. Just arrived. You already stole from me. I, I just got here. Yeah. Um, so, uh, I would say maybe a year, year and a half into it. Um, uh, along the way I saw a lot of things, you know? No, I've had people, actually, let me rephrase that.

Men say I don't do business with women. Mm-hmm. I said, okay, no problem. So, you know, already those things were accumulating, those were little issues, but he would always defend me in the beginning. But then after a year and a half, I would say. Getting into two years, I saw him change, you know, um, it was like a switch.

Yes. So, you know, I remember one pa, one client saying, um, I don't do business with women. And he said, he goes, okay, well then you're not doing business with us. Okay. That's my wife. Yeah. And she's the boss. There's a door. And he defended me in the beginning. In the beginning. But then it started, you know, then, you know, men started saying, you know, they don't, they, you know, they, some of them just blatantly say, we are, I'm not doing business with women.

I don't want her giving me the prices. I wanna deal with you. Then he started coming more to the store and seeing things and just, you know, pushed me to the side. And men tend to go through a transition, I think sometimes when, you know, a friend start influencing, you know, having that influence on how they think.

I started coming less to the store. He started being more at the store. Um, so little changes like that. I, I wanna ask you about the women in the country that you were at. How were they with you? Because they knew that you were American, you were young, you had a baby, you were kind of like an entrepreneur in their land, and they were maybe not used to seeing that.

So did you feel like the women in, in tho in that country were supportive to you and were like, wow, she's great, or they were angry at you? I think they were more angry, jealous, conniving. Um, I, I could say out of the experience, I only got. To really build on one friendship. Wow. Only one That's sad.

Everybody else was just horrible. Uh, in the sense such hypocrites, um, the women, you know, it's sad to say, you know, they don't have a lot and they don't have a lot opportunity. So if they see a woman that does, it's just like, oh, they hated you from the beginning. And this was within his family. Within his family too.

I mean, I just saw the, the looks, the, the, the looks that, you know, they see you have a nice watch, you have a nice bag, and they're like. You know, and that mentality's like, why you have it? I don't, I'm, you know. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna try to destroy it. And, and, and that's exactly happened. And Rebecca, what did you look like?

Did you have your hair loose or did you cover yourself or did you, were you westernized there? Westernized? Ah, nobody changing me. I had my Nike, my, my hair Max and, you know, that could have been part of it too. So it was, well, it was okay. It was okay. I mean, I wasn't, it was okay to, to just dress how you wanted Oh, yes.

In that country. Uh, well, no, to a certain point, like, I couldn't be very revealing. Of course, like here, you know, in the US I would wear my tank tops and Sure. Also, you know, you go according to your body type too. Um, but again, also at that moment, remember I had the baby, so I had a little baby fat, so I was a little self-conscious, so I didn't mind wearing the big t-shirts and things like that.

Um, I didn't have to wear veil. So, yeah, so that, and I wouldn't wear it because, you know, again, we had that understanding. Mm-hmm. Now, the women around you, were they covered up? Were they like always covered up? No, no. A lot of them were, you know, again, it's a choice and a lot of them did not wear the veil.

You know, again, it depends on the country, right. So at least this country is sort of very liberal in that sense. Okay. So a lot of women, they don't wear it. Um, I just see some women dress normally, you know, so this is a more out of all the Islamic countries that I've known. Mm-hmm. This is the very liberal.

So it's personal choice to to Exactly. It's a personal choice also. It's a family choice. 'cause some families do make the women wear that. Right. At least around me. No, they didn't. Okay. So now your husband is taking more charge at the store and you're, I'm assuming, home with the baby more. Yes. It's about a year and a half.

Mm-hmm. Deep in, let's get into the shift in your marriage. So the shift came when you know these little things, you know, you know your husband and you start seeing things that he is bothered by you. You know, so if I caressed him, he would move, you know, just things that change in a man, you know? And, and as a woman you said, Hmm.

I would call him, he wouldn't pick up the phone. Um, you know, I say, well, where were you? You know, so these, these kind of hints, I think us women, and I'm sure anybody out there listening has gone through this and you see this change, all of sudden you seem to be fat or you seem to be ugly to him. You know?

I mean, he never said it, but you could just see it in his face. Um, so one time this client of mine, you know, remember nobody spoke a lot of English there. So I had a customer, I would say a customer, yes. She came to me and she said, I need to speak to you. And I said, well, what, what happened? She goes, I just need to speak to you.

No. So now, so a lot of women, like I said, would be conniving. They tried to be my friend. Um, through being customers, you know, they were buying my merchandise and things like that, but, you know, trying to be my friend. So this, you know, this lady, she spoke English and, and I trusted her. So I sat down with her and she told me that my husband had been leaving a double life with another woman, and that if I wasn't careful, this woman wanted to take everything from me.

And on top of that, I know this might sound weird and to some of you listens, it's like, what does she practice? Witchcraft? You know? Hold up. Wait a minute. Whoa, wait. I have, I have a question. Why would this woman. Out of the kindness of her heart, come and do this. Like who there had, there had to be a reason she did this too.

Well, it was her, through the grapevine that she had heard a story of how delusional and blind I was, that this woman that was destroying my marriage was having an affair with my husband, had slept with me in my bed, and I didn't even know, I didn't know who she was. So when she heard, you know, hearsay that she said that this woman had come into my home, slept with me, um, well, not slept with me, but in the sense like I had shared my bed because I had felt bad.

I didn't know who she was. It, it's, it's, I know this is, this sounds crazy. People may be like, what? No, no. It's fascinating. So, you know, so then she heard the story through another woman that was her friend, and she said, you know what? Because this woman was a, in a sense to say a woman, a working girl. Oh, um, yes.

So there's supposedly an ethical code I know about this, that you can do whatever with the husband, but you do not mess with the family. You do not mess with the wife. You do not go into their home. You do not go and mess with their children. And for some reason, the other girl was like, you know, this is ethical codes that we have.

We just don't do, you could do whatever with the husband. They're married that's there, but you don't mess with the wife. Mm-hmm. And they felt bad for me. So I don't know how these conversations came to this customer of mine. And that's why she felt the need to tell me, oh my God. And, and she came and we sat in that coffee shop again.

You just feel the nerves. And I'm like, this is not good, what she's gonna tell me. And then when she said, this woman, she wrote the name. She actually, I remember her giving the name to me in a piece of paper and she goes, this woman is doing tons of things to destroy marriage. She wants to take everything you have, including your daughter.

Oh. And I say, what? And it's just like that cloud, you know, the cloud of gloom, like in the movies, it's like this looming black cloud just comes over me and the sadness. And then Rebecca, did she tell you that she practiced witchcraft? Yes. Yes. The lady. Yes. Yes. She said. And you know, and again, this country is very keen on which it's like a secondary religion to them because they really believe in it.

And you hear these stories. I mean, one of the key things they told me when I first arrived, they said two things. Don't trust anybody and don't eat food from anybody. And I really, I was like, why they cook that bad? Which they don't. Right. The food is amazing. But I was like, what? And yes, that's how, that's how much they have that in them, that you cannot just drink or eat from anybody.

'cause you don't know what they put in the, in the food. So the witchcraft beer is, um. Big thing. It's huge. Meanwhile, I just brought a whole tray of patto. No, but I trust you. I trust, you know, I, you know, it's, it's very different, the, the, the mentality they have. And, and they, and this is, you know, I'm talking about decades of just Yeah.

Culture, right. Um, wisdom, you know, don't eat from anybody, you know. Mm-hmm. What's, why is that water dark, you know? Yeah. Um, don't leave your underwear here. Don't leave your, your hairbrush. Always clean your hairbrush. Don't leave hair there. Don't leave your, even your, you know, if your, that time of the month, don't leave that there because that's your blood and just, just crazy things.

Wow. And I never thought, you know, and it, I'm like, okay. You know, like Sania, you know, it's just Right. It's something that's very embedded in their culture, it sounds Yeah. Very embedded. And, and they live with that every day. And, and that's how they, that's how they operate. And this girl told me, she goes, she's one of these people that has done a lot of things.

And then I started thinking, I'm like, Hmm. And a lot of the things that it's said, it's said that, you know, when you're experiencing this and they're doing it to you, you do feel it. And I know this is like a crazy notion. People would be like, what you do feel it? Uh, I was starting to have nightmares. He was having nightmares.

He would see people at nighttime. He would wake up and scare the hell outta me. Um, I started losing my hair. Um, I started going crazy. Like I didn't know I was losing my mojo, you know? Hey, I, I'm a, a New York Latina Marine, right? I was, you know, and I was just losing my strength. I felt weak. I felt, um, you know, he started seeing me as this ugly American Catholic infidel, you know, the, the people that are not from the real, you know, they call him infidel.

So everything was switching this. I know he loved me and his. At the moment, you know, I always knew he loved me. And, but then all of a sudden I was doubting that he did not see me the same way. It was just so different. And then I looked at this girl when she had me, this paper. She gave me her name, her number, and I'm like, I said, are you serious?

And I didn't wanna believe it. Mm-hmm. She goes, yes, she has been living. She has an apartment. She had not, I mean, I was just like shocked. My God, that was so fast. 'cause you've only been there a year and change. Yeah. At this point. Yeah. It was, it was, I was two years. This was two years in two years. So she was saying yes, she's been so no, but supposedly at that point, it had been happening for a couple of months.

Okay. But somehow she had. I dunno gotten into his head. Uh, the cockroach just started crawling in. Mm-hmm. And he had changed. And I had seen that change, but I didn't wanna believe that it was a change because of another woman. And I never thought that he would do that to me. Right. I, we, you know, again, you're so in love.

I, we've been through so much and we used to say we've been through war Yeah. Together. And we've always stood side by side. Never. Never thought he would do that. So, Rebecca, this is a personal question you don't have to answer, but was the intimacy with your husband at this point non-existent in regards to, you know, yeah, it was dwindling.

It was dwindling, you know, but then again, you said to marriage, I had a baby. You know, we had been going through so much stress. I was traveling back and forth, remember I was traveling back and forth bringing merchandise. Um, you know, so we, our store can always have new stuff and you know, we always just, and when you traveled, you left the baby?

Yes, the baby was left with my mom most of the time with him. I mean, he just loves his daughters. How long would you be away at a time when you did the, the most I would stay would be two to three weeks. Yeah. Because to between three weeks to, you know, buy merchandise, pack it up mm-hmm. Send off the container.

So it was a lot of process, but Yeah. And it felt long because, you know, but actually that's not too long for what you were doing. Right. You did it very quickly. Uh, yes, but the whole problem is my daughter. Yeah. Of, you know, I would leave and then I would come back and I would see her. I'm like, oh my God. I was just get emotional.

Yeah. So three weeks feels like months. Yeah. And that's the thing, you know, I'm taking time away from my daughter, you know, thank God I had my mom at that moment there. Um, so she would take care of my daughter, who best babysitter in the world. And at this time I was like, you know, oh my God, I'm taking, but you know, again, you're thinking, okay, this is for our future, this is for our business, this is for my daughter, you know?

So I don't mind taking two, three weeks, but I, you know, this is an investment for us. This is our thing. So when this lady came with this little piece of paper and telling me these things, it's just, no, I cannot be. Yeah. That, that's devastating. You uproot everything. You're, everything. All this work. Yeah.

Yeah. It's just like something inside. It's like. Imagine if you will, a building and it just, yeah. Mm-hmm. That's how you feel inside. So this little piece of paper had her name all her information. What the hell did you do after that? I just looked at her. I was like, no, what are you talking about? You know, I remember I'm in the country.

I don't know the, the, the language. I don't have friends. You're still adjusting, you know, I'm still adjusting. Yeah. People are not accepting. It's not like I could go to his, his family and say, Hey, you know, look at this name. Can you call her? And you know, because his family, they're always gonna side with him, right.

So I had no friends. And my mom, my mom was my only point of contact. Women tell her, she, she'll probably say, oh, you know, it's just, you know, it's lies, you know? 'cause my mom loved him. She just adored him. Um, and so I, I was just so stuck and alone and I said, well, you need to help me. You know, I, I wanna speak to this woman.

I, I wanna go where she's at. I wanna see this apartment, I wanna see this. I wanna catch him right away beside right then, you know, at, at first you're shocked 'cause you're frozen again. That, that cloud over is like, whoa. And you just, then you pick yourself up, okay, what do I need to do? I need, either I confront him, he might just say yes, or he might, you know, and then I said, you know what?

I, I'm not gonna go look for nobody. First of all, at that point, sadly, to say I didn't drive. I know it's embarrassing. No, it's not. I didn't drive. It's a different country to, but you know what, maybe that's God's way of protecting you. Because I think, and I always think to this day, if I knew. Well back then, if I would've driven, you would've ran her over.

Yeah. I, I swear, I, I, I, you know, you go through this fantasies, you know, once I, I actually said, actually well confirmed that it was true. 'cause at the moment you don't know if it's true. So once I confirmed, yes, I said, you know what, but how did you confirm it was true? So that's the thing. Um, so there was a guy that was working in our store, uh, that was a assistant.

And he was a great comfort to me because he really related, he was very westernized. You know, he was very hip hop, very New Yorker. And, uh, you know, but he was a New Yorker from there. Um, and he spoke English. Um, so I, I don't know why I confided in him. And I said, you know, because when I came back from the coffee, I had to go to work that day.

So when I got there, I was just, my face was just, I wasn't shot. I didn't know. And I told him, he just looked at me and I. Do you know something? Because remember this guy was, uh, our, uh, he was a salesperson. He was the delivery guy. He did everything. He was the right hand man of my ex. And, and he just looked at me.

I was like, please, I know he's your boss, but what, what? You know, can you help me? And he just looked at me. He goes, okay, you want me to help you? I said, please, I, I need to find out. This is, this is insane. I wanna know for if this is the truth. Because I don't wanna just go up to him and say, Hey, is this true?

And if he says no, then I'm back to square one. 'cause I have no proof. Mm-hmm. He could say, oh, I don't know what she's talking about. Okay. But eventually I did confront him and he, he confessed. Yeah. My, my ex confessed, but at the same time I was doing my own investigation. You know, I had the other guy, um, try to see if he can follow her, find her, and, um, and 'cause I really wanted to go and confront her.

Okay. And have somebody to translate again. Yeah. 'cause, you know, did you get to do that? No. Okay. You can know why, because God is good. Yeah. I don't, God is protecting me. Mm-hmm. Because I think at that moment with the rage I had inside of me Yeah. When my ex actually confessed. Yes. But, you know, the way he made it sound was that he had made a mistake.

That he had made a mistake. Um, that he was sorry. I was like, but you make a mistake for one night. You don't make it for months over and over. Mm-hmm. I said, you know, this doesn't make sense. Right. You know, and, and again, and you got her an apartment. Yes. And you were already starting to see changes in him, right?

Yes, yes. With me, I, you know, and I said, you know, how could you do this to me? I, I, I, you know, I gave my life off of you, my career, my, you sure did. My country, I, you know, how could you do this to me? And, and then again, as a woman, oh, what does she look like? Who is she? And in sense, I mean, I don't know if I could say that she's a hooker.

How could you do that to me and pick me? I'm a Marine and, you know, she's a woman from the street. She cannot even compare, you know, I, I'm not, I'm not blowing, you know, I'm not, I don't wanna get a big head here and say, oh, I'm, you know, Mr. But still, everything I've been through with you, what I've done for you, who I am, right?

How could, and the beautiful daughter I've given you, how could you do this to me for her? And, and let's keep it real. If she was a lady of the streets, he could potentially also. You know, when he's with you. Yes. Give you a sexy transmitted disease and put your life at risk. Right. So let's keep it real. Yes.

That was disgust. That's like an al to me. That's like an even bigger betrayal. Yes. Yeah. So it's not that just emotional, it's just physical. Physical. He could have really hurt you. Yeah, yeah. No, after that, obviously. Yeah. You know, I didn't want him to touch me. I, I just wanted to stay away from, 'cause I was just, how could you do this to me?

So, it's so weird because in the moment, a lifetime, well, not a lifetime, but years of just mm-hmm. Love and, and a admiration and just loyalty. Just wham out the window. So now let's talk about when you started to make the decision that you wanted to leave the marriage. So, um, I saw that. So, okay, so let's go, let's backtrack a little bit.

So I'm gonna say my part because I think it's necessary and, and when you're so emotionally drained, and I mean, at that point, my lo my self-esteem was on the floor. Mm-hmm. It was just on the floor, you know, again, I know it's, how can I say? It's really bad to concentrate, oh, she's this, she's this. And, you know, but at that moment I did.

I don't know why. And also I think, again, I know, I think she was doing things to me pretty sure she was, I was not myself. I was so weak. And the only person that was there at that moment was the right hand man. Okay. Um, and I always saw him look at me in a way, you know, like admiring me. And so it started coming out because he started getting mad at me, as you know.

So I remember I had told him, please find out, you know, he was a guy, he knew people in the street. And, and, and we had a conversation. He said, you know, I, I don't understand why he would do this to you. You're an amazing woman, everything you've done for him. So we started having these conversations and I said, and, you know, and all of a sudden I was like, oh my God, look at this guy.

You know, he's younger than me. He's. So nice. He's a great guy. And look at how he's looking at me. He's, he's looking at me the way my husband should be looking at me, but he's telling me these things. So I started getting closer to him, and I guess it's because, you know, again, you're, you know, you're vulnerable.

Yeah. Very. I was, I was so dead inside, you know, I, I, because I, I was stuck in the, in the situation. I didn't know how to get out of, okay. You know, I had my, my daughter, I had my house, I had my business, but, and I also didn't wanna just give it away. So this woman came in, I just didn't want, so, so we started, uh, getting closer.

We got to, you know, we didn't get together in any sense physically, uh, you know, just to make it, um, known. Um, but, you know, we started talking and, you know, just talking about what was happening and, I don't know, it just became something more closer and I started confiding in him, and I guess I needed that.

Like you said, I was vulnerable. It was like an emotional relationship. It was okay. He was my angel. And, and I, and I thank him because he really stopped me from going to her house. He actually got me the address of where he was living, uh, everything. He got me information, you know, from the street. But he said, I'm, I got you this because you asked me, but don't do anything.

Think about your daughter. Mm-hmm. You, you are so worth you. Your worth is just so much more than for you to go put your hands on her. Don't do that. And, and, and I, I sort of listened, so I, I sort of calmed down. So I said, you know what? I don't care. Let it be. And I said, either way, I'm gonna try to work, try to get things, um, save money and eventually I'm gonna leave.

So I started telling, uh, my ex, I said, I wanna go back to America. I don't wanna be here. Um, this is not working clearly with me and you. Um, because, you know, even though he had confessed, he had apologized, you know, he said, I'm sorry, you'll never have. It was, I don't know. There was something else. I knew she wasn't gone, you know, and I wanted to find out because I felt he was lying.

So he said she was gone, but I knew she wasn't gone. And eventually I did find out she was not gone because my friend had managed to get me, you know, um, connections in the sense to get photos. And I eventually got a photo of him and her eating. Mm-hmm. So there you go. It was not over. You were lying to me the whole time.

And you continued to lie. So I knew, and I told him, I, I, you know, this is not working. And he goes, well, you could go, but my daughter's not leaving. And that's one, and that's where the saga begins. Oh, wow. You know, so at this point, remember, um, so once she made herself known, and I think sometimes when a lot of people say, if you really look at this, that girl that gave you that little piece of paper, I think she was sent by her.

Oh. I, you know, a lot of people say that. Really? Yeah. I, I, I could see that. Mm-hmm. Yeah. She wanted to know to stir the pot. The pot, exactly. And if she want, if she wants what you have. Absolutely. Yeah. So, you know, so I never thought of that. There're evil. Oh yes. Yeah. I never thought of that. I think it, I I actually was like, oh, maybe she's looking out for her.

But that, you're right. That makes, actually, that makes more sense. Yeah. Yeah. Right. You're right, it does. So remember at this point, um, we had gone out one night just to, let's backtrack a little bit. So I think that's, that maybe that's the night that she said, you know, I'm gonna take it all. So we had gone out to a club.

His friend was already cheating on his wife with a girl from the street. And that girl happened to be her friend. Mm. I had no idea. So we went to the club. They came out, oh, she's the friend of his, the, his friend's girlfriend. You know, those type of things. We all sat drinking. And at the end of the night, she's, she starts crying and she accuses some guy of touching and molesting her.

Oh, great. So me and my husband are my ex outside, and I'm like, oh my God, that's horrible. And her friend just left her here. Mm-hmm. And she's there crying. Look, look at the evil of this woman. Wow. And she's pretending that she just got molested. And, you know, and, and I'm thinking in my head, I'm like, God, for them it's a big deal, you know?

Mm-hmm. You know, they're virgins. You know these things. You're thinking, oh my God, not little did I know, but, so I'm like, oh my God, we can't just leave her here. So he's like, no, no, no. He's like, well, that, that's her problem. Let's go. Let's go. Now I'm looking at him like, you can't just leave this woman here in the street.

It's like five o'clock in the morning. She just got molested. She's crying. And I took her with me. Wow. I didn't know who she was. I took her with me and I took her to my house and I said, well, here, here's a pajama. You could stay. And then tomorrow my my chauffer, 'cause you know, I had a driver, he could take you home.

And I'm so sorry about what happened to her. Oh, wow. And I bought her to sleep because at that point, you know, my daughter had her room, my mom, so we didn't have space. He just grabbed his stuff. He went to the living room and he goes, no, you gotta stay there. And then he just like, you know, I'm now think back.

And I'm like, Hmm. At that moment you're not thinking that. It's like, okay, you know what? Just relax. You know, here, here's a pajama. You could, you know, just sleep with me. And she slept with me in my bed. I had no idea. Literally sleeping with them. Me. I know. Uh, wow. You know, and you say, how can you be so despicable?

Because that's just being despicable. And yeah, but this, this is the, and then again, again, it's like a punch in the face. How could you prefer somebody that would do this right in your home? That's really deep. Yeah, that's really deep. Yeah. How could you choose that kind of person over me? So again, it just reaffirmed I needed to get outta here.

So, okay, so now fast forward. Now obviously this woman comes, tells me these things and, um, now it's known. So she starts sending messages. Um, la ha ha ha, I'm gonna take everything you have. Um, yeah. So she started bullying. Yeah. No. Yeah. Now she made it known. Not, you know, so the war began at that moment. He started, uh, you know, he, okay, so then he had taken my phone.

At one point, and he found messages between me and the worker. Mm-hmm. Messages, you know, oh, you know, um, oh, I, I love to see you smile, you know, things very innocent. Because again, we didn't have any physical contact. We were just working together. But we never went out, we never did anything. And like you said, emotional.

I was so, and he was such an emotional support because again, he was guiding me. He said, I know you know where she lives. No, I'm not gonna get you anybody to go there. You're not gonna do these things. You have to relax and think about your daughter. Um, he was there for you. Yes, he was. He was emotionally there for me.

And, um, I'm very grateful for that. And I hope he's in a good place right now. Um, because I could never thank him enough for what he, the, the emotion, emotional support he gave me. Um, so anyway, so now we were at war. Um. And he's telling you, you could leave, but leave. You're leaving our daughter. Yeah. Okay.

Now. And I said, oh no, those are fighting words. Yeah. No, I, you know, how old is your daughter around this timeframe? Oh, she's like four. Okay. She's big. Yeah. Me. She was my baby. She like, no, you're not taking my daughter. I'm not. I like, no. And, and you know, I started refreshing his memory. I said, no. Remember when you were there?

You said, this didn't work out. I can always take my baby and come back. Right. We're Americans, I'm not staying here. You thought? No, no. You are not taking my daughter. Um, you know, do whatever you want. I don't care. You know, that's exactly like the movie. That part of the movie. Yep. Yeah. And I, and I said again, the phrase, not without my daughter, I'm leaving here.

Because at one point, obviously when, that's it, when the war broke out, um, he found messages, um, just to give you a heads up. So he had taken my phone at one point before everything really started, and he said, what are these messages? And he found the messages between me and, and the sales guy. And that was it.

He used that as the excuse in a way to say, look what you've done to me. Oh my God. Because he's still lying about, he's still lying. He's still lying about what's going on. Yes. But in those countries, if a woman commits adultery, it's very different. Am I correct in stating that? Yes. Yeah. But it doesn't even adultery.

I know, but what I'm saying, but he's accusing you of, he's a right. Just the accusation alone could be dangerous for you. Let me tell you something. They crucified me because not only did he use this as leverage for him to like, oh, you know mm-hmm. He told his whole family. Right. The family looked at me like I was the worst of the worst.

How could you do that with that man? And this? Mm-hmm. I said, wait, wait, hold the phone. He has been living a double life with a hook, and you accusing me when I've never done anything. This is just an emotional person that's in my life when he's throwing me out like a shoe, treating me like crap. Are you serious?

And but again, there's nothing worse than that. Being able. To be understood. Mm-hmm. It's a language. I did not know it. Yeah. I, I felt like a caveman at points. I was drawing figures and, and trying to do hand signs to express to them. That's hard. No mean, it was just, it was so horrible. And to see his mom and dad look at me like with this face of disgust when they used to look at me with such love.

Mm-hmm. I was the angel. They got their son out. Now all of a sudden, I'm the worst of the worst. I'm an in infantile, I'm, I'm cheating on. And I'm like, wait a minute. No, no, no. He's the one that messed up everything from the beginning. Yeah. But that's their son, right? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And that's their brother.

And then, you know, so and, and again it was, and you're in their turf. And then you're in their turf. Exactly. Exactly. So that's after the messages. That's when everything, that's when World War III broke out. He said, you get the hell out. How shame on you? I was like, shame on me, shame on you. You broke everything.

You destroyed everything by picking something from the. Uh, from the trash. Yeah. You picked up trash. That's what you did. And you destroyed our, our family. Um, and that's exactly when he offered me money and that's when the line came out. He goes, okay, you know what? Just take, I'll give you the money that's in the vault.

I'll give you money and you just take it. You just get the hell out. But my baby, but she's staying with me. I said, Uhuh not leaving without my daughter. Ironically, that line from that movie. Yeah. Again, here is a Hispanic, New York girl saying this in a foreign country. Mm-hmm. Imagine. Yeah. Nobody would've think that.

I never thought myself. I would be saying that. And I, and I remember thinking about the movie and people saying, Hey, don't let that be. I'm like, no. Well, yeah. Here I am. Here I am now it's me. And I said, not without my daughter. I am not leaving this country without my daughter. Absolutely not. So you were.

You end up getting separated from him and No. What do you do? Um, I went to the do, I went to a lawyer. The lawyer said, um, because you're a woman, you can't just divorce your husband. You can't, but you leave with ev nothing. I said, what do you mean not leave with nothing? He cheated on me. He committed adultery.

He goes, yeah, but it's very difficult. Here's different, and you know, here women are looked down on if you are leaving your husband. I mean, he, he look, because he's done to me, he takes my daughter for a day or two. You know, again, at this point, I wasn't working. He took the keys from me. He took my business from me.

He would take my daughter at times a day or two. I wouldn't know where she was. I mean, God, again, I had no car. He took away the chauffeur. So it was just, he was in control of him. I mean, this is exactly why it's important for anybody listening that you need to know the legal rights Yes. For women in whatever country you're going to.

Right. Oh, and make sure you have a driver's license. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think, again, I, if I would've driven in those days. Mm-hmm. But you were alone too, because you didn't really have a, I mean, besides that one man. Mm-hmm. You didn't have a support system. Nothing. And her mom, that's zero. That's, and your mom always going to be by your side?

Yeah. My mom at that point, she was getting sick, seeing the fights. Wow. There was some intense fights. Again, when I talk, I talk about Was she there with you there? She was for a couple of, yeah, because my mom would come back and forth. Okay. Because remember, you can't overstate three months, so she would come back and forth.

Okay. So during this fighting, uh, I just got to the point that I said I didn't want my mom there. Okay. Right. She was suffering a lot. She was crying all the time. You don't want her to see that? No. No. It, it was a really bad situation. So it got to the point I said, mom, you need, and, and I remember my mom looking at me and she was just crying.

She goes, I don't want to leave you. I'm so afraid of leaving you here. Mm-hmm. This is not him. This is not him. And, and I think the. I think what, you know, what broke the camel's back was one night, um, there was a par, not a party. It's like a blessing of a house. They have blessings come in. And again, I know this is gonna sound really crazy.

It's like a movie in a sense with the, the, the possessions of people. They were saying the Koran, they, they, they recite the Koran to bless the house. So his family was there, everybody was there. My daughter and my mom were, were on the bed and they were coloring. And my daughter was like four. She was me.

They were coloring. My mom always colored with her. So we weren't in my bedroom. I didn't wanna be near his family. 'cause remember I was crucified. I was the bad wife. I had had an affair and elicit and this and that. I was the terrible wife. So for some reason, they got up the idea to just try to bless the house and bless or whatever.

Okay, whatever. So they bring this priest there, what they call an Iman to bless. So me and my mom were just away from everybody. And he comes in. Literally into the room. I have never seen possession in my life unless it was in a movie. His eyes were literally red and he comes and screaming. Stormy say, get out of my room to my mom.

And I was like, what the hell's wrong with you? He goes, you're doing witchcraft on me. Are you doing things to me? It's you. It's you. And he's screaming on my mom. I mean, mind you, he was always so loving with my mom. And my mom is looking at him like scared. Yeah. And my, and my daughter's crying. She's, you know, like, what is happen?

And I said, what's the matter with you? He was possessed. And at the same, it was just like, like I tell you a movie. Mm-hmm. At the same time, in the background, I heard the Quran being red and he's here possessed. His eyes were red. And I'm like, you need to calm down. Say you put your hand, you put a hand on my mouth.

I swear to God, we kill each other here. So that's the only thing. It almost got physical. And he goes, get out. And he was just screaming, get out, get out. And my mom said, don't worry, don't worry. I get. And then she turned and she said, I forgive you. I forgive you. I know it's not you. And it was painful because I said, you know, it's not just me, it's not just my pain, it's also my mom's pain and my sorry.

And, and my daughter's pain because I had never seen him that sense. So obsessed. And again, and I'm like, what? Why is this happening? Mm-hmm. So my mom got up, she goes, I forgive you. I know it's not you. I don't know what they've done to you, but it's not you. And she went to her room and I took my daughter and I just ran to her room and we just locked ourself in there.

And then we just closed the room and he just stood there. Like lost. 'cause he didn't know what's happened. And I just left and we were in the room and we were just crying together. And she goes, how can you ask me to leave? I can't leave. I said, mom, you have to leave. She goes, no, I'm not leaving. I said, you have to leave.

You can't stay here. You're just making it worse. Because if I just have to worry about myself, right, it's, I can handle it. And I know he would never hurt his daughter that I know for a fact. Mm-hmm. I just, I can't, I can't take care of you and me because I cannot stand it if I'm outside and he comes and he does something, look what he did tonight.

So at that point, I think it was like maybe a couple of weeks later, um, and ironically at that same moment, my cousin from New York had had, um, um, reserved to come to the country and he had said, oh, you know, this was planned ahead. So my cousin, look how time God has his timing. He came, I mean, obviously my ex treated him horribly, absolutely horribly, um, made him feel like crap and.

I said, you need to take my mom home. Wow. Take her back to New York. I cannot take care of myself and her. And that's exactly what my cousin did. He came, he had a horrible time. I took him for a little bit of touring here and there and you know, as much as I could considering. And I said, take my mom back.

And my mom didn't wanna leave, but he convinced her. And, and that was a hard goodbye. It was a hard goodbye. And that, I remember that day she was leaving, I was crying, I was looking her going, and she's just waving to me. 'cause she didn't know when she was gonna see me. And I remember my daughter's father coming.

He said, oh, open the windows. Let all the evil out. And, and just talking in these things, what are you saying? He goes, that's it. All the evil has left. So he was accusing my mom. So, and, and, and then when I spoke to some people, they, they said this. Part of the witchcraft and these things that they do, they make you sort of crazy thinking that the wrong people, right.

The people that actually praying and caring for you are the evil ones. Yeah. I've heard of that. Yeah. Yeah. So my mom mm-hmm. And he's influenced, and at this point he's being influenced by his family. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody. Because now she, she's, it's true. Well, she said, but mostly her. Yeah. Mostly I've heard that.

Yeah. Because she was probably praying for him. Yeah. Praying for you guys as a couple. Yeah. Right. And, and they don't, the demons don't like that. Mm-hmm. No, no. But I, I mean, I'll never forget his eyes. He was just possessed at night. Wow. And, and at the same time, he's screaming. The Quran, it's being read in the background and they're burning, you know, like this incense, they burn.

And it was just like such a contrast. Evil. And then the power, the word of God being said in the background, it was just so, yeah. So real. So Rebecca, let's get into your strategic plan on getting out of that country with your daughter. Let's, let's talk about mm-hmm. How you made that happen. I tried, um, I had a very high ranking person help me, um, try to help me.

Mm. This man, I can't disclose, obviously, but he was an amazing person. He tried to help me. I tried to leave from the airport, but I was lost. He worked in the go. Oh yeah. Okay. He's the government. Okay. Um, to so to say. Um, and, but you know, just to make it quick, um, I tried to escape. Um, I was able to change my daughter's passport without him knowing Wow.

Can remember he has everything, all the documentation. He threw the passport at me. He said he, but he had locked up my daughters somehow. I was like, damn, dammit. So he took away the passport. I couldn't, how was I to get out? So he was insuring that I was not taking my daughter. But you had your passport, but not your babies.

Yeah. Got it. Exactly. So what happened is that I said no. So I went to the embassy. The embassy refused to help me. You know, again, they refused to help you. They refused to help me because they said, well, you came to this country, that's, uh, that's your problem. You came here. You know, and again, as an American, you're like, what do you mean I'm an American?

You have to pick. No, no. Oh, you decide. You made the decision to come here. Nobody put a gun to your head. I thought the US Embassy, I'm sorry for my ignorance, but I thought that was there to help you navigate those things. Navigate those things. Yeah. Well, until you either shot in the head or stabbed, they will not step in.

Wow. That's, you know, that was my understanding. I said, you know, this man, okay, maybe he has not punched me, but he is verbally and emotionally abusing me. Mm-hmm. And I'm also at the edge of losing my mind. Okay. There's a woman that is a psycho because there's no other word for her and evil, and she wants to take away my daughter, she wants to take everything from me.

So you need to. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And you know, again, I was like, I, I can't believe this. Wow. But so either way, with that high ranking person that helped me maneuver, uh, was able to take out another password for my daughter. Oh, wow. A brand new password. But was it a real passport? A real American passport?

Yes. Oh, wow. So for some God's grace, you know, I still had, you know, I always say, don't throw things away. You never know. Documents might come back and you might need them. So I had a document that had given me power when he was in jail to travel with my daughter. Oh my God. And I never throw things away.

'cause you never know these, these are powerful documents. So what happens is that I came, I said, you know what? I have a document because the embassy won't give you without authorization of the, of the parent. Especially if Im in and of the husband. Really? Right. I mean, oh, of the other parent. Really? Okay.

So. Thank God I had that pay. So that's the only thing that saved me for getting in the passport. Wow. So I was able to maneuver to get the passport. Um, fast forward. So I, you know, again, all this time I'm praying, I know I'm in the house. I'm completely lost. There's nothing else to do because I, I can't work, I can't drive.

I have no money. I am completely, he took, he took everything from me, uh, everything from me. So at this point, I'm just trying to see, I need to get out, um, prayers. Prayers, you know, having faith. Um, he has a child from a pri, a previous marriage, and the child was coming to visit. So child was still young. Um, so American, yes, technically a child is American, but grew up in Europe, so he was gonna come and visit, you know.

Um, so I said, okay, somehow something's gotta come up here. Now remember, this is, we at war, back and forth. So he decides, he goes, you know what? Let's go to Euro Disney. I said, oh. She said, sure. She said this. I said, oh my God. I said, yes, let's go to Euro Disney. Sure. You know, I'm playing the game here. And where is Euro Disney at now?

In France. In France. Okay. And I'm like, sure, because the only thing I'm thinking I need to get out of Africa. Okay. It's beautiful continent, but I need to get outta here. I need to cross that ocean into Europe. That's the only way I'm gonna be able to get outta here. 'cause I really knew at this point, I tried to skip through the airport.

I was blocked. He had put a block on my daughter, uh, had to return myself back, pretend nothing happened. So at that point I said, you know, it was so devastating. I was completely blocked. Um, so I knew I was not getting my daughter out. There's no way. Didn't matter. So, I'm sorry, but you had already tried to I had to try to escape.

I missed that part. Yeah. I had to escape. You had already tried to escape. Mm-hmm. And you were completely blocked. Yes. At the airport? Yes. I was completely blocked. And he, he knew that you were trying to do this again by God's graces? No, he didn't find out. Oh girl. He had called me. We rushed. And it was, you know, the, the man that had, you know, the man, I can't disclose his, uh, agent for say an assistant.

Drove me to the airport and we drove back so fast before the chauffeur was to pick up my daughter from school. Holy See, remember everything at this point was being controlled by him. The chauffeur was picking up my daughter. I was not allowed to leave the house. If I left the house, I had to sneak out through the back, pretend I'm going to supermarket.

I jump in a taxi. So everything was, you had to play the game. You had to play the game too. Yes, it was playing the game because I didn't wanna set him off in any moment that to know that I was up to something I didn't want him to know because I knew that if he knew, that's it. Game over. So at this point, obviously I had gone, like I said, I had gone to the airport, tried to with one luggage, packed up my stuff, little what I could, left almost everything behind and I was blocked.

And he said, you can't travel, she can't leave. I said, what do you mean she can't leave? We are Americans. I said, this is I, I don't understand. We are Americans. We can leave. Why are you detaining me here? No, because this is this. You are where you are and you cannot leave. There's something on your daughter.

And until her father doesn't say, so, you are not leaving with her. Can we call him? Oh wow. I was like, n no, it's okay. He's working okay. But we could still No, no, no, no. It's okay. And now, my God, we jump back into the car, we run out, rush back, put my daughter back in daycare before the cha would come. But would he be able to take his daughter out?

Of course. He could do whatever he wants. He does. That's my point. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Again, you know, you're a woman, it doesn't matter. You, you know, he could take his, of course he can go anywhere in the world, but no. So again, uh, that was devastating. That day was just. Wow. That's a lot, Rebecca. Yeah, it was crushing.

My mom was waiting, you know, everybody's on pins and needles waiting. Okay. Did you get out? Did they I called your poor mom. She must have been. Oh, yeah. I called her and said, said, mom, I'm sorry. This I, I couldn't leave. They blocked the, the baby. She's, she's blocked. And she goes, well, you are not leaving without her.

No, no. And you know, so no, you can't. I wasn't, I wouldn't leave without my daughter, you know, at this point I say, you know, even to that crazy cycle, I say, you know, you could take my husband, you could take the store, you could take whatever, but you're not taking my daughter. She's mine. Mm-hmm. You could take everything.

You've taken money, whatever you, but my daughter is mine. You're not taking her. And at that point, obviously, okay, that was the first defeat. So now months later, let's fast track. And then, uh, he's like, oh, let's go you Disney. And in my head I'm like, yes. Because remember, where did that come from? I'm sorry.

It's just that, uh, because the kids were young and you know, hey, what's the best place over there in that side of the world to, you know, the other child was visiting you said. Right. Exactly. So the other child was visiting. He wants to take girl. That was God's divine intervention. You take them somewhere it is.

It is. I mean, there's a lot of moments. That's why, you know, and a lot to your listeners, this is not just, I mean, there's many details to the story. Perseverance. Mm-hmm. The faith. Faith, you never give up. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Because I really, I was almost two years now into this nightmare. Yeah. The nightmare that almost drove me to, you know, suicidal thoughts and everything.

Wow. 'cause everything was happening to me. And, and again, I do believe firm believer, she was doing a lot of things to me. Mm-hmm. You know, she's driving me nuts. Yeah. And, and then it was said that she was Dr. She wanted to drive me so crazy that she wanted to put me in a mental hospital for me to commit something to put me in jail.

So, you know, there was a lot of plots. Okay. That I heard all through the grapevine. Yeah. Anyway, so he says, uh, I said, yes, sure. So I'm thinking, go to Disney. He included you in this trip. 'cause he could have, could he have left without you? Yes. Oh, he could. He wants, he could've left you there. Right. But she, but, but she was playing the game.

Right? So he trusted you, he still trusted you at this point, was that's who we were saying divine interventions, that he actually said, okay, let's all go. Go, let's go. Mm-hmm. Oh, yes. I was playing very nice. Yeah. As much as it was killing me inside, I just, I, you know, I hated him at that moment. I really did.

Yeah. For your daughter, but you were playing chess not right. So, and I said, you know, if that happens, what happens is, because usually what happens is that from Africa, it's easy to drive to Europe. And that's exactly what we used to do all the time. So it's like, okay, cool. This is what I need because I need to get to, um, Spain and.

My family's there and once I get there, that's it. I'm good. I'm not in a fifth world country sort of say, you know? Mm-hmm. Not disrespect, but to me it was at that moment because I was so stuck, I was being crucified and nobody heard me. So, so he says, okay, let's do this. And I'm like, okay, okay, okay. This is good, this is good.

And I just kept praying that he didn't change his mind. Mm-hmm. And I was like, God, please, please. Okay. So finally came the day and we packed up and I'm packing up everything as much as I can inside a little back. 'cause I obviously, I can't take a big luggage. Right. Supposedly we're only going for two days.

Right. You don't wanna make it obvious. Yeah. They don't wanna make it obvious. So we get to the border and something blocks us. And I'm like, Jesus Christ, what happened now? And he goes, he comes coming and I see him coming through the rear view mirror. So usually when you come to the border in the car, I stayed with the baby and, and his son, and he went to the immigration.

Usually you give the passports and he comes, I see him coming through. I'm like, oh my God. My heart was just, and again, I have to play it off. Mm-hmm. Because if he sees something in me mm-hmm. He's gonna, okay, this one's up to something. Right? Yeah. Because, uh, I just didn't wanna set him off. So what happens is he come, he goes.

Did you do something to the passport? Like screaming at me? I said, what are you talking about? I don't know what you're talking about. Oh my God. I was like, I should get an Oscar for that. And I, and I, and I said, I, I don't know what you're talking about. What are you saying? You must have done something to the passport.

They saying it's stolen. It. That's missing. I'm like, what are you talking about? The baby? The baby's passport? No, my passport. Your passport. Yes. Again, God's intervention is because originally the passport that was reported stolen was my daughters was the babies. Because in order for me to get a new passport in the embassy, I had to get a police report.

And that's exactly what I did. Oh God. So that's how he helped her get his daughter, her daughter. A new passport. A new passport. He reported it. Stolen, which, oh, so he got her new passport, but it was yours that was flagged and somehow in the system. But I know because when that process was, because they told me, the agent at that point that was helping me said, your, your daughter's uh, passport is gonna be put like it was stolen or missing, whatever it is.

I said, yeah, do whatever you need to. I don't care. Just do it. But now we're in immigration, the border, and this ain't, it's my passport. I don't know how that happened. And I'm inside and I'm like, oh my God. I'm say, well, you know, your country's not the brightest so you know this, this is technical glitches.

Are you sure you haven't done it? He's screaming at me and I'm like, I haven't done anything. What are you talking about? My password's in your hand? Think right, think logic. And he just storms off again. Okay. And I'm like, I'm breathing inside. I'm, I have this little, uh, pamphlet of God's picture my mom gave me.

And I'm just reading it and I'm holding on. I'm like, mom. And I just, I swear to God I found my friend. 'cause I did have, I did actually make a friend rest in peace. She passed away in the country. And, um. I know she was waiting and waiting and so was the lawyer that had spoken to prior, because even the lawyer said, you need just to get the hell outta here.

Once you've crossed that border, you are good. You are free. Try to cross that goddamn border. And so I'm waiting, he comes back again and I'm like, Jesus. He goes, you tell me right now. He's like talking to me really abrupt and, and aggressively, yeah, what did you do? Did you do something to the passport? And I say, I haven't done anything.

What are you talking about? It's in your hand. He goes, why is it coming up stolen? I say, obviously there's a mistake. Think, and again, I'm repeating the same thing to him, like, just think logically. My, my password's in your hand. Stop, stop, stop this. And I'm trying to stay calm. Anyway, this was back and forth for an hour.

An hour. You know, my, my heart, I think I aged 10 years and then that morning was 10. Yeah. And so what happens is I finally, he gets in the car, slams the door, and I'm thinking, I don't wanna ask him. 'cause I don't know. I, I said, what happened? He goes, nothing. So he puts it in drive and we pass. You cross the border.

Oh. Inside of me. It just, I didn't wanna show him again. I have to act because if he sees I'm so relieved. He's like, 'cause he knew me. Uh, and the man know, he, he knew, he knew, uh, this girl's up to something. He could just look. Oh, that's smart. That's why he was mad. Yeah. Yeah. And I was in the back and I'm like, wow.

I was like, Jesus Christ. The baby's in the car, baby's across the border in the car. We like, yes, I am outta this continent. I am onto another continent now. Okay. So now we're in the south man, June South. I still have to get to the north. So we get to the south, and again, we have to make our way over to the airport.

'cause that's where I needed to get up to the north, because that's where my family's at. Remember, I don't have any money. I don't have anything with me. Uh, he technically has her passport. Um, so it's, it's really hard. So I need to get, so somehow. The, her, the, they say, okay, let's go fly to, uh, to Euro Disney.

Okay, so let's do that. No, but we're gonna do it from here. I'm like, how am I gonna stay here in the south? I have no money, no car. I can't drive. I, I can't just get stuck here. So I had to get to the north and somehow we ended up going to travel agency and I told, uh, the son come in with me. Well, actually, he sent the son in to, to sort of spy on me to see what I was gonna say, right.

To make sure I wasn't gonna say anything. So I went into there and I told the lady, you know, we need a, a flight. She goes, yeah, well there's no flights from here. I mean this, I'm sorry, the flights are from here then not from the north. And once she, she. Okay. And then I said, okay. I say, ma'am, can't you just find something because everything has to come off from north, not from the south, no, the flights.

I was like, and I was like, okay, well go tell your father. So when he left, because I knew the son was there to spy on me, to report everything back to him, I was feeling, I, I felt all the moments, every moment I was being spied on and ti go. And I told the lady, I said, please, me and my daughter are two American citizens.

You need to help me, please. I just started crying and I said, please find a flight from the north, not from the south. Please, I'm begging you to help me. And she just looked at me. I said, I need to go to the, I need to be with my family. I need to get up there. I can't stay here. I have nothing. And this man is refusing to let me and my daughter go.

And she just looked at me and she's like, okay. Oh, okay, okay. And then she just found tickets miraculously within the budget he was. Aiming for, boom. Printed them out, gave them back to her. I said, here we, but we have to leave from the north. And he goes, we have to drive away. I said, yes, we do. This is the only trip that's available.

There's no tickets down here. And he looked at me, are you sure? I said, go ask her. And then the sun said, yeah, dad. That's what, that's what she said. Look, this is the printout. Boom. We're off to the north. That lady, I don't know what her name was, but God bless her because she looked at me with such eyes of compassion and she understood and she did what she had to do in that computer, and she got me the tickets because if she wouldn't.

I would've been stuck in the South. Mm-hmm. And I can't, no money. And what happened, he was this close to saying, you know, what the hell with Euro Disney we're driving back. I didn't want that. Right. So, you know, fast forward we go, we fly out everything. You know, again, the Academy Award, uh, acting here kept going.

And we went to Euro Disney. I just wanted to see my daughter smile. And just So you actually did go to Yes. To, to France then? Yes. Okay. Yes, we went there. Um, again, me and him would just not even talk, you know, talking nothing. We just, everything was just civil. The kids right. For the kids. Yeah, exactly. The kids.

Um, and then I said, this is it. I'm coming back. We on the airport, like I say, Madrid, that is a huge, huge airport. Huge airport. And I said, it's now or never. Yeah, it's now or never. And Madrid police is no joke. Woo. I mean, yeah. It's a country that's not going to tolerate anything. New York. Yeah. A hundred percent.

Beautiful country. Beautiful country. Big shout out. Um, oh, and the food. Anyway, so we're coming my, I'm shaking again. It's, it's a matter of, you know what you need to do, you know what's gonna happen and then, you know, but you have to act because if he sees something is in you and he, you know, too sad. But then I felt more empowered 'cause I was in Europe.

Mm-hmm. Right. I was not in that country. You were in Madrid. Yeah. Right. This, you can't play with me here now. You know, Rebecca back, Rebecca's back. Marine. Rebecca's back. My mojo's back. The mojo's coming in. Yeah. So what happened is that coming off the plane, I told my daughter, I said, baby, whatever mommy does wherever mommy goes, you go with me.

You know, she's, at this point she's four, five. Yeah. She said yeah, I think she's five. Yeah. Um, I said, you stay with mommy no matter what happens. And I'm shaking. I'm shaking. 'cause I knew we're gonna get the luggage. I'm gonna grab my luggage and I am not leaving from here. This was already set in my head.

Okay. I mean, this is, you know, this is months of planning this in my head because this was my only way out. And then we get in the luggage and, and I grab the luggage and then I'm shaking. And I said, remember, stay with mommy. And I remember seeing a guy behind me, she looked by the way, by like a Marine.

And he's listening to me because I was speaking to my daughter in English. And she's listening to me say to, to my daughter, stay with mommy. Okay? Don't leave. Mommy. Mommy's going to be here, mommy's gonna be sad, but you have to stay with mommy. Don't go with daddy. And the guy's looking at me and I remember him looking at me, you know, and, and I was like, that's it.

We, we going outside with the luggage. I just stopped, literally outside with the luggage, my daughter in hand. And I said. I'm not going back. And he's like, he looks at me and said, what? He goes, just shut up. Just get in the car. Said I'm not going back. And everything that I had been holding back for a year and a half, two years with all the crap, I say, you a, I mean, I just went off on him.

I said, how dare you have done? Because remember, I could not fight with him Right. In his country. Right. I had to keep my mouth, I had to, you know, that's another thing. You're in the midst of this war and you can't express yourself. Right. I can't, you can't defend yourself. You can't express yourself. You No.

You have to shut up because, and also he was a person that was not very talkative. Mm-hmm. You know, it's also that, that culture, men are not the ones that, oh, come baby, let's speak, let's talk about, no, at least not in there. So it was very difficult. Um, and I just unleashed. Months and, uh, well actually up to this point, a year, year and a half of just things that I had, you did this to me.

You blocked me. How dare you go back on your ward after everything. I am not going back to that country. You treated me. You put your FI just said everything. So it's fair to say that there was a scene at the airport. You a huge scene. A huge scene. I was trying not to make it. And he said, no, get in the car right now and let's just go.

Now mind you, his son is watching his son, I think at this point was like 11, I think. Something like, he starts crying, like, what the hell? He's like, what's happening? You know? He didn't know he is a child, right? And my daughter's like looking back and forth at us and mommy, daddy, you know, like, and I said, I'm not going back.

And, and he's trying to, I was like, no, don't touch my daughter. And it would just, it. So for the next, I would say. I mean time just to still two hours. Two hours. Because he refused to. I say, you get in and get the hell out. I'm staying here. I'm gonna call my family and I'm not going back. Mm-hmm. And that's exactly what happened.

We went back and forth. People were seeing us cry, scream at each other. A couple of times the police came. Well, you know, people will say, is everything okay? I say, no, everything is fine. Everything is fine. You know, so that's one thing. People were looking and seeing, there's some tension going on in here, but when the police came, you.

Did you tell them to help you? Well, it was not police. It was just like the security. Security, security, security. Yes. It was security that came. Everything is okay, ma'am. I said yes, you know? 'cause again, I, I didn't want to get arrested. Right. That's not what I was aiming for. I just wanted my freedom. I wanted my safety.

I wanted everything to, to work out, you know, in the not, not correct way. It's, it's the father of my daughter. I didn't want to go to jail. Right. And I told him, please just go, just leave me here. I cannot go back to that country. You wanna make things work out. We have to make it work out from here. I'm not going back.

There's no rights. And you know, it's Yeah. The whole thing. Yeah, the whole thing. And, and my daughter started crying. She started hugging him. She, I said, you get off of her. You get off her now. Put her back. You are not taking her. And if you do take her, I'm, then I was willing to call the police. Um, I said, you go back.

I am not going back. I'm gonna stay here with my family. And that is it. And you know, again, like you said, Rebecca's back. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I got my mojo at that moment because I finally felt free. Yeah, right. And two hours back and forth. So finally he said, okay, just stay here and I'll be back, say no problem.

And then, you know, he took off with his son back to his country. I stayed with my daughter there. I called my family and broken, took my daughter, but at least I was free. And that was it. Wow. You were now starting a new life again. Yeah. Wow. Initially, yes. Yeah. Initially. Yeah. Because, you know, but that was it.

That was the moment where you, uh, were released from captivity. Yes. In a way. In a, in a, in a way. And that's where your life checkmate. I won Checkmate. You won. Right? I won. Check. Congratulations for your courage. Yeah. Yeah. It was because that must've been terrifying. And, and the nerves. Oh my God, I have to do this.

Yeah. Play it off. I have chills listening. Yeah, yeah. No, no. Full time. Like, and just playing it off. Because remember, you know, your body shows nervous. Yeah. You're side and I'm just there, cold stone looking at him and inside my stomach is turning. I mean, that moment at that border was just, I mean, that was the longest hour of my life.

Him back and forth, storming and just every time my heart would go up. Yeah. And it's just like, you know, you had to smile and say, no, I don't know. You know, it's just the technical glitch. But, you know, inside you knew. You knew what you did. You knew, you know what's happening inside. I was overwhelmed. My how.

In the world that that computer somehow put my passport and not my daughters. They flagged the wrong one. How the wrong one? That was God. Yeah. That was God. I mean, that entire experience, uh, redefined stre strength for you. Mm-hmm. It really did. Yeah. Uh, yeah, because, you know, and, and it's sad to say because there's a lot of other women that have not made it out.

Yeah. A lot of other women that have been in my situation and, and, and I would say women to that country too, that, you know, may from there, but in the same situation as me, they can't. Yeah, they can. Yeah. They can't. They can get out. Yeah. And I think that's why we always go back to like, you know, before you make these big changes or you're moving to another country, you really do need to ask the right questions.

Yes. You know, um, like what are your legal rights as a woman in this, this country? I mean, even if you're visiting one. Yeah. Even visiting, visiting a country. That's one. Honestly, that's one of the main reasons I travel quite a bit. Mm-hmm. I'm very fortunate to be able to, and I have, I have no interest in going to the Middle East.

None. Yeah. Um, not even Dubai. Yeah. Yeah. We want to buy. It's beautiful. I've been there a couple of times. No, no, I, I'm sure it is. I mean, I, I have friends who have gone mm-hmm. And had only say wonderful things. Yeah. But I have zero interest in going to the Middle East. It, it's sad because, you know, these countries, uh, the end, the beautiful, they have beautiful culture.

The food, oh my God, the food, Navy, it started with the food. Right. But again, the women secondary. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Um, and it's sad because, you know, at the end, women and men, for us. We're equals, but in these countries it's not. And I've seen when I, I've said I've done business in Dubai. I've been to Dubai a couple of times, and women literally walk behind the men.

Mm-hmm. They're covered. Um, you know, there, there you have to be covered. Well, I wasn't covered because I'm an American, so they, they respect that a lot. And I can tell you the women there are just secondary. So I have a question for you. After hearing your amazing story Hmm. Um, if you could go back in time Right.

What questions do you wish you would have asked before moving abroad, before doing this? What do you think you would've asked that could have been like, oh no, I'm not going with him. Hmm. Or done differently. Yeah. Um, I would've assured myself that I was, I would have the freedom to come back with my daughter at any moment.

I didn't have that guarantee. Mm-hmm. I just took his word for it. And I just, you know, I, I wish I would have that. But Do you think even that, that would even. Still be possible? No. Probably not. Knowing now? No, because with, with the legal, the way it goes there, if you decide to divorce, at least in that country, and I think, I don't know if the other country is the same, but at least with the, I was told by the lawyer, if you decide to divorce your husband, that's a shame on you.

Right. So because you are designing to divorce, you get nothing. You relinquish your rights, your everything. That's it. Mm-hmm. How dare you leave your husband? Yeah. And even though I explained to him, I said, but you look what he's done to me. Look what what he's doing still to me, still. He's the man. He's the man.

Right. He's the man. You have no right to leave him. I said, but okay, so, and, and again, I was like, okay, but he, no, he's, he didn't tell you to leave. Okay. So you set the house on fire. And I leave up, but I didn't tell you to go but just set the house on fire, so you gave me no choice. Right, right. Again, it's just like you pushed into this corner and if you react, especially being a woman.

Yeah. How dare you. Yeah. I think for me, one of the most important things is that if you are in a situation like this or, or maybe something a little similar, I don't think any woman should feel embarrassed for asking questions about like, how is it there? How's it gonna be there for me? Like, ask questions and if they don't want to answer or they're like, or they're dismissive, that's a major red flag that maybe you should not be going to this country.

Mm-hmm. Because of love. Yes. Yeah. No, and, and again, goes now looking back, never give up on your dreams. I mean, by this time I would've been retired. I would've been so set up. And if the stayed of New York, you mean in State of New York or you know, yeah, in the state of New York. I would've been, you know. So far in my career, and again, I gave that up at that moment for love.

And, you know, and, and if this reaches out, any young woman thinking of giving up, uh, no. Let me go into business. I'm not saying that every time is going to be that way. Mm-hmm. But the odds, they're kind of against you. You know? Just don't give up on your dreams, you know? Yeah. I gave up all my dreams, my career for him, everything for him, for a life that I thought we were gonna have together.

And in the end, it didn't turn out that way. It gave me, you know, and, and, you know, God sends you messages. That's one thing. Yeah. I, I want you to listen to this. God sends you messages, listen to them, and I'll tell you one message real quick. Before when I first started with him. I was in front of, uh, I was walking to school.

He was in jail at this moment, and I was so devastated. And out of nowhere, I'm walking to the university. Then, you know those crazy people. Well, I, I'm not saying crazy people, but these people, he, you could tell he, 'cause he was like all erratic in the street, giving out flyers. I thought he was a Joel witness, but he was not.

You know, these people, it's just like, what are you doing? And he comes outta nowhere. I'm like, oh my God. And he gives me a pamphlet. He goes, get out while you still can. Right in front of the church. Right in front. And I look at, and I, I'm like, that's crazy. And at that moment I, I was devastated. I had, I think I had had an argument with him on the phone.

And I'm like, and I remember my friend telling me, you know, you just met this guy. Wow. Why are you going through it? Why are you still persisting on staying with him? Yeah. You just met him. I was like, but I can't leave him. I feel bad for him. He's alone. He doesn't deserve it. And then this man just comes in, goes straight away, get out while you still care.

It's crazy. And he walks away that, that, it happens. It's happened to me and I look up in the church, I'm like, you don't think about it at the time, but when you think back and you reflect, you're like messages. That was the messages That was a message for me. Messages. And you don't listen. You don't listen.

And so, and I, I do believe that God will send you a message soft one in second and third, and then it starts progressively getting worse. And this, I think this is as worse as it gets. I think it's also important for women to hear, because we're emotional creatures. We're loving, we're nurturing, and when we see someone that we love and care about, um, suffering or they're in pain or you feel like maybe there's an injustice mm-hmm.

We tend to, uh, because we love them and care for them, yes. We tend to be like, I can't abandon them. I can't do this, I can't do that. While you are. Self-sabotaging your own life, right? Mm-hmm. Well, that's what does Latinas do? We grow and that, that way, you know, and, and we were raised to be that way. Yes, exactly.

We were raised to be that way. And that is where I, I want one of the takeaways of your stories to be is that no relationship should cause you to self-sabotage your own life because of love. Yeah. Right. And anybody who says, how can you abandon me at this hard time? Yeah. Well then maybe you shouldn't have done that when you were in your twenties.

Right? Yeah. Maybe you shouldn't have done a misdemeanor knowing that you were, were in hot water already. Yeah. And being that we were married and already had a child, you should have thought about us before you did that. Yeah. But you see, your mindset is I love him. I, you know, yes. It was a young, it was a mistake.

Right. And the takeaway should be like there's consequences. Yeah. To also what you did. Yeah. Yeah. But also the, the whole thing, also bringing in the immigration, considering the state of, uh, our country's in right now. Yeah. You know, immigration to, to say it's, it's not fair. You know? I think when these things happens, and this, and many stories I've heard as, uh, one of my friends too, happened.

You can't come back 20 years later and say, Hey, by the way, you did something back in 19. I don't know. Uh, we're gonna bring that up and now, you know, can't do that. I think one of the things that we say, if they would've just deported him from the beginning mm-hmm. All this story would not even have happened.

Right. Right. You know, bit up in the bud. Exactly. You know, you, you, okay. So I'm never gonna be a resident. I'm okay. You know what, let just get the hell out. And, and he, he say, I would've done that. But you know, they give you this false hope. And it's true because when I would speak to the lawyer, it was this false hope.

No, he is gonna give back his papers. It's not a problem. And you know, and if you're married, you know, so it's just this false hope. And I know it's all for money. I'm sorry to say that. Yeah. But it's true. And you spent so much too. Yeah, and I mean, I'm just one. Millions of people spend, I mean, I mean the immigration business, hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Yeah. Is a lot of money. It and this always on that false hope. Yeah. That this case is different. He's gonna get his papers back, he's not gonna get deported. And again, and it's also your faith. Something like this shakes you to the core. Yes, it does. At one moment, you know, you say, you know, I did everything I was supposed to.

I was the good wife, I was the good mother. Why is this happening to me? So that faith in you is just, it goes away. But you got your power back, Rebecca. You got your power back and your freedom. Yes. I got my freedom. Want, thank you for sharing your story because it's a very powerful one and very, I think there's a, a lot of women who are gonna listen to your show mm-hmm.

And be like, wow, this. Was inspirational, hopeful, or maybe they know somebody. Mm-hmm. That's in a similar situation. Yes. That can be like, Hey, don't do that. Listen to Rebecca's story. Yeah. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Right. In a sense, you know, and you can't put everything in just one place. And that's exactly what I did.

Because at the end, remember I worked hard, I build a business, an empire with him, and he stayed with everything and so did somebody else. And they're enjoying it. And I ended up with nothing. Well, I can't say nothing. Well, I ended up with my freedom. But you're in a country, the most important, my daughter.

Exactly. You're in the country with your daughter and you have women's rights. Yes. In a beautiful country. And yes. No, no, I have my freedom. But like I said, in the end, it was my daughter. Yeah. My daughter was That's, that's mine. That's all that matters. You know, you could take whatever you want. You could take the car, you could take the husband, you could take, all of those things can be replaced.

Yeah. But my daughter, that's, as a mother you can understand. Hallelujah. Absolutely. Nobody can take that away from you. Thank you for listening to today's episode on Red Lips Real Talk. Our guest's story is a reminder that even the strongest, smartest, and most capable women can face situations they never imagined.

Strength, intelligence and discipline are valuable, but they cannot replace awareness, preparation, and the courage to trust your instincts. Freedom and choice are negotiable. Protect your autonomy. Know your rights, and never ignore warning signs, even when love, loyalty, and family feel like the most important things in the world.

Love should never cost your life, your independence, or your safety. This story is not about victimhood. It is a lesson for every woman. Pay attention, plan carefully and make decisions that protect your future. Your child and your life. Awareness, preparation and self-respect are the foundation of empowerment and no amount of love is worth giving up your freedom.

Thank you for listening. Make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss an episode. We will be dropping an episode every two weeks. Oh yeah. No, like seriously subscribe now. So just chill to the next episode. Follow us on Insta and.