The Late Bloomers Club: Life After 50

In this episode of Red Lips Real Talk podcast, the hosts introduce the “Late Bloomers Club,” encouraging women not to let age or timelines dictate their dreams. They discuss anxieties about turning 40–50, shifting perspectives, physical and hormonal changes, and gaining clarity, boundaries, and a “less caring what others think” mindset. The conversation emphasizes prioritizing health, embracing evolving friendships and life transitions, and viewing midlife as a second act with time to reinvent, travel, start businesses, and pursue goals. They also address taboo topics around women’s sexuality, including orgasm statistics, communication in relationships, and recommend the film “Good Luck to You, Leo Grande.” Examples of late bloomers and reinvention include Kate Winslet, Vera Wang, Julia Child, Martha Stewart, Toni Morrison, Viola Davis, Arianna Huffington, and entrepreneurship data showing strong midlife participation.

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Transcript

Oye, mi gente, you're listening to the Red Lips Real Talk podcast, where we talk about life, love, and everything in between. You already know it's time to get real. Dale. 

I used to think that there was a window for becoming someone and a right time to find your voice, to build something, to matter, and if you missed it, it was over for you. Some of our listeners may have heard our We Do Not Care Club show last year, where we learned to stop apologizing for who we are and to live freely and stop caring about what people think. 

We here at Red Lips hope that this show gives you, our listeners, the courage and the boost and confidence to not let age or time stop you from living your dreams, even if you bloomed later in life, because not everyone peaks in their 20s. Right, ladies? Right. Right. So this show is the Late Bloomers Club, a show dedicated to the women who didn't arrive early, who didn't have the straight path, but who are still becoming. 

So welcome to the Late Bloomers Club show. Hello, ladies. Hello, ladies. I'm very excited to do this show because we're all around, relatively around the same age. Mm-hmm. Some of our friends have already turned 50. Yeah. I'm turning 50 this year. Same. Same with m- beautiful Monica, and Mariza's the baby. Yes. My time is next year. 

Her time is next year. But I think it's safe to say that we're all- Uh, knocking the door, right? Right. And, uh, just to share something personal here, we had gone out to dinner last year to celebrate Maritza's birthday, actually. And that day we all showed up. We had a really good time, and, uh, Jessica was there, and I remember talking to her, and I was like, "Jess, I'm having a really hard time with, you know, turning 50." 

And she was like, "Really?" And we had, like, this really deep conversation. And I, I've been struggling with it for a while now. I got k- I don't wanna say anxiety or panic attacks. I wouldn't go that far. But it's just this thing, like, what have I achieved? What have I done? Do I have time to still fulfill my dreams? 

Can I still have dreams at this age? Uh, can I still dress a certain way? Is it okay for me to still have long hair? I mean, the crazy stuff that was going through my, my mind, and then I've taken some time to kinda like self-reflect and really preach more about, like... You know, we, we're... I preach a lot on this show. 

I think we all, like, try and give out positivity, but I won't do it for me. That's common. Yeah. Yeah. We all, I think we all do that. We all do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, you're such a hypocrite. Like, you're here, you're here telling people who listen to you, your friends and family, but then when it comes to you, you're doing the total opposite. 

So I say you have to really start- Taking your own advice. Yeah. Taking... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I started to do that, and I'm gonna tell you, it's working. Mm-hmm. 'Cause I wake up now, and I like myself more. Good. And I feel sexier, and I feel... Not to make it like a, like an outer beauty thing, 'cause that is like so far down what matters to me at this point, too. 

But I mean, like, I think about, like, can I still do these things? And I'm like, well, I may not be able to get exactly that, but damn, I can get close. Yeah. Yeah. You know? And that's, that's what I, why I wanted to do this show, because I think all of us have those moments. Yeah. Yeah. I definitely had that moment turning 40, and I don't think that I saw the light until 45. 

Wow, five years. It took a couple years to get there. Really? Yeah. If you don't mind sharing, if it's not too personal, what were some of your thoughts? Um, I was, it was just kind of all over the place. I felt like I had wasted a lot of time. Mm-hmm. Mm, maybe that's not a good word. Not w- like, I, I felt like I just, I'm like, like I woke up and I was just kinda like, "Oh my God, what- What happened? 

what have I done- Yeah ... to show for myself?" And it was a lot of that, and the, I f- I was going through some depression as well. Mm-hmm. You know, just sad all the time. And I think my, also part of it was that I had a little premenopausal symptoms starting, and I didn't know about it- Mm-hmm ... until a couple years after, talking about it or hearing other people talk about it around me. 

And then I, you know, I started to figure out. I'm like, "Oh, you know, that could be a lot of what I'm going through." Like the symptoms. Yeah, the symptoms. Mm-hmm. But yeah, just it, it almost felt like, like I was in the dark and, you know, at some point down the line, I was like, "What am I, what am I doing?" Like, "Why am I thinking like this?" 

Yeah. And I finally, kinda like the cloud just went away. Oh, good. Yeah, and I was just- Mm ... kinda like, okay, I, we started to feel better. Mm-hmm. You know, I was, um, thinking to myself like I'm, I'm crazy. I've raised my family. I've raised my children. Mm-hmm. You know, like look at everything that I have. I, I've done, I've built this, you know? 

It wasn't so much, you know, career success- Yeah ... you know, money. Like, you know, I'm not famous. Thank God. But you know what I mean? Like, I, I started to have a different perspective. Mm-hmm, a different outlook? Yeah, a different outlook on everything, and on, and on myself as well- Mm-hmm ... because, you know, I did start feeling a certain way about myself. 

But now, I mean, yeah, I'm turning 50 next year. Mm-hmm. But my, my mentality's completely changed from then until now. In what way? I'm just more positive. I feel good. I don't, I'm, you know, I'm not like, you know, yeah, I have aches and pains and, you know. Mm-hmm. But I'm, I'm embracing everything that's- Yeah 

that's happening to me basically. I think for, for me at 47 h- 47 hit me like a, like a Tonka truck. Yeah. And 47 was really hard. I would say 47, 48, and partial- Yeah, 40, two years, '47, '48 year- Yeah ... were really dark, really dark. Mm-hmm. I know what- And- I know what you mean. A, really dark. And, um, then I had the epiphany where I was like, "Well, okay, I, I may not have achieved a lot of my own personal dreams and aspirations and things that I thought I could still do." 

'Cause when you're in your 20s, you think anything is possible- Right ... and that's the beauty of youth. Yeah. Right? But then once you start entering your mid and late 40s and life, life hits you, and you're like, "Wow, I, I wasn't even able to get close- Right ... to, to that." Some do. Some do, and congratulations if- Mm-hmm 

that's your story. But for me, my world did a 180, and the things that I never thought I even wanted is what I got. Right. You know? And then I started thinking to myself, "Okay, you really need to snap out of this," because just like you just shared right now- Mm-hmm ... I built something special, too. Yeah. You know? 

Now I have a second act. Right. Exactly. And now I look different. I feel different. Yeah. I have a little, you know... Like, what are those little wrinkles you get under your neck? They're starting to show. There's, like, something, there's something that women call here. It starts to, like, get a little wrinkly underneath your chin- Oh 

and your neckline. Um, is it a, is it a- It's not the gobble gobble. That's a double chin. Oh, I was gonna say, is it the turkey, the turkey thing No, it's just like- Mine's in the double chin. It's not a double chin. It's just like it starts to, like, get a little bit more wrinkly underneath your- Fine lines ... fine line. 

But, and I noticed it the other day, and I was like, "Oh." Oh, fuck. You know? So I'll, I have changed physically. Right. Um, the other day my hip started hurting, and I didn't do anything. Yeah. And I was like, "Why does my hip hurt?" So I think that's what I've been grappling with, you know, that my body can't do- Your body's changing 

my body's changing. Yeah. I, physically, like- You feel different ... I feel different. Yeah. And I was like, "Dude, I don't like this shit." Right. You know? But that's my new normal. Yeah. So I'm trying to take care of myself more. You know, I walk more. I'm still lifting weights. I'm- Mm-hmm ... drinking less alcohol. I'm trying to, you know, use my brain more, be around my... 

I'm more selective. Like, I was so social. Do you remember how social- Yeah, yeah ... I was always a social butterfly. Now I'm like, "No, I know who my people are, and it's not about quantity. It's about quality." I think that's the beauty of getting older also, uh, with the changing of how you feel- Yeah ... and mentality-wise also. 

I think you start to gain a little bit more clarity. Mm-hmm. Um, one thing that I did struggle with at that time as well was the fact that I had started a business. I was freelancing for a lot, you know, like, printers, and I don't wanna say that I failed. I just made choices that didn't put my business- As my priority. 

I chose my children as my priority. So because I did that, my business didn't, you know, it didn't grow, and, um, I continued doing that. And, you know, t- as time goes by, I was a graphic designer. You know, now that we're, you know, years later, everything has changed, and there's not really a big industry for it right now- Yeah, not with AI 

with AI. Too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Big time. So I struggled with that for a very long time. Mm-hmm. Um, for a very long time- Yeah ... actually, and just recently, I closed, I closed it. I just closed it. Wow. Wow. Yeah, I shut it down. Stupid question- I finally was like- ... but how did that make you feel? Um, good. Really? But many years of struggling with the thought of it because every year I said to myself, "I need to do it. 

I should do it," and then I struggled with the thought of doing it 'cause I'm like, "Ugh," but it was kinda like a part of me. Mm-hmm. But I said, "No, I'm doing it," and I finally did it. It feels good. The funny thing is one of my clients reached out to me the other day, and I, and I was almost there, like, you know, I could still do the job. 

But I said, "No, I'm not going to." You know, I, I told him, "Look, I have your files." I will make the changes for you and send you the file, but unfortunately I can't print it for you anymore because I closed my business. So he was like, "Okay, no problem." You know, I mean, I did send his file, but I was like, "That's it. 

I'm not printing." You shut the door- I shut the door ... on that chapter of your life. Yeah. Wow. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, good for you 'cause that, that's hard. That was a struggle. Yeah. That's a- To come to terms with- ... that's a baby of yours Yeah. Yeah. To just go- I get it ... and walk away. And walk away. Mm-hmm. And not feel like a certain type of way about it- Right 

after doing that. Exactly. Just... That's, yeah I, I think that's why it took me so long- Yeah ... because I was a little, I was a little bit in denial. Yeah, so. But yeah, changes. Yeah. But you know what? It's like they say, when we start reaching this stage in our life, we've already nav- navigated, um, failure. Not to say that- No, right 

this is a failure- Right ... but we've navigated loss. Mm-hmm. We've navigated changes. Exactly. We've navigated, um, things that didn't work out the way we thought w- they were. Right. But now, okay, what's next, you know? And I think that's what I'm trying to figure out also for myself. Mm-hmm. My daughters are adults. 

Um, I've had career pivots as well. Um, but I still feel young. I still... I know I'm not young, but I also know I'm not elderly. It's that sweet spot. Yeah. And- Where you start to come- To terms ... to terms, or you start to realize that that narrative that you grew up believing in- Yeah ... is bullshit. Yeah. Care, care to share what you mean by that? 

Like, we've always had a timeline. Like, you have to be married by this age, and have kids by this age- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm ... and be successful by this age, or do this by this age. Mm-hmm. And you grow up and you're like, "I still have time. You know? Like, I'm not- You still have time- Why do I have to rush? Yeah ... and life doesn't always work that way for- Yeah 

everybody, too. And it- Yes ... doesn't work out for everyone. It's not a one-size-fits-all thing. It is absolutely not. So you start to come to terms with that. Mm-hmm. Like, well- Yeah ... okay, so, so what I didn't do that, or I'm moving on. I, I still have time to do something else. Right. You know? And once you start to realize that, you start to give less fucks about all that other- Mm-hmm The timeline. 

Yeah. The imaginary clock- Yeah ... that you think you have. Yeah. I mean, people right now are finding the loves of their lives and getting married in their- Right ... 40s. Mm-hmm. Like- Having kids in their 40s ... having... Well, let me tell you, women now are having... It's the first time ever in history that women in their 40s are having babies more than teenagers. 

Yeah. We're the ones that are keeping the human race alive. Yeah. You know? Um, which I find that fascinating, 'cause teenage pregnancy when we were teenagers- It was high ... that shit was all over the TV. Mm-hmm. Like, I don't know if you guys remember that, but that was, like, a thing. You know? Oh, that was my fear. 

Yeah. Mm-hmm. I'm like, oh my God. I was like, "I don't wanna get pregnant." Like, you know- Like, no ... teenage... And we, we knew a few young- Oh, yeah ... that, that, that got pregnant, you know? Yeah. Um, so that was definitely a thing. And now it's women in 45, 46, 40 s- You have people like Janet Jackson, who had a baby at 50. 

Again, that she's a celebrity, so she had, like, a lot of help and stuff. But listen, I just saw on TikTok this lady who got pregnant at 60 naturally. Wow. She was crying. She wasn't happy about it. She was like, "Holy, holy shit." You know, it happens. It's rare. Right. Um, but we're living longer too, guys. Yeah. Yeah. 

So that's the thing. You know, people back in the days, we've talked about this before in other programs, um, you know, people were passing away in their 60s and 70s. And you have people now dying in 95, 96. So if you put it in that perspective, 50 is pretty young still. It is. Yeah. Like, I, I say, okay, so if I, if I live to be 80, I still got 30 years. 

Right. Like, what- Yeah ... what do I do? What can I do? Yeah. A lot. Whatever you want. Yeah. Yeah. And you know- Because you're coming in- Right ... with clarity. You're coming in with better judgment. Yeah. Yeah. You're coming in with, um- Experience ... experience. Experience. Wisdom. Knowledge. Yeah. Wis- knowledge, yeah. Dude, I just celebrated my wedding anniversary. 

I just celebrated... Uh, well, that's why I went to, um, Italy and, and Spain. We were celebrating 25 years. Wow. Mm-hmm. And I'm like, I have spent 25 years with the same person. And what we have done in 20... Well, actually almost 30 years, 'cause we were together, like, four years and change before we got married. But anyway, that's besides the point. 

I have lived a whole freaking life with this person. I have to do it all over again. Yeah. Plus, perhaps- A little more. And everything that we've done, you know, what I've done, what we've done, there's so much left to live. Yeah. Right. So that's why I'm saying, if you're listening to us right now and you're about to turn 50 or you're 51 or 52 and you're in a, a dark place, please snap out of it because you have so much time left. 

Yeah. Mm-hmm. You just have to take care of your body a little differently. That's the only thing. Yeah. 'Cause that, that's what I would tell my s- my 20-year-old self, right? Mm-hmm. Like- Yeah ... take that, take your health and nutrition- Yeah ... a lot more seriously. Seriously now. Yeah. Right. Yeah. For later. For later. 

Mm-hmm. 'Cause you're gonna need it. Yeah. There's, we can't... If you can't move, then you can't live that life- Yeah ... that you can live. Exactly. Yeah, so if we have any 20, 30-year-olds out there listening to us, take care of yourself now for later. Yeah. Yeah. And they're... But see, that's the thing about Gen Z, Gen Z's really good with that. 

Yeah, they are. You know, they don't really drink a lot. I mean, they may smoke pot and do other things, but that's a different subject. But I think for the most part, you know, they're really into skincare. I didn't use sk- I put baby oil on my face and roasted on the beach- ... for like- Yeah ... three hours, you know? 

It's, yeah. They're, they're a different breed. Well, I mean, too, there's a lot more information- Mm-hmm ... available at- Accessible for them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right away. It's true. 'Cause I'm always sending stuff to my daughter. Yeah. Look at this. Look at this ... neurologist said this. Right. Like, look, do this. It's true. 

Yeah, it's true. It... Well, they do have, I mean, they have a computer in their pocket- Right ... at all times that we, we, we didn't e- we had that- We had be- we had beepers ... yeah, with codes. Right. You know? So that, yeah, you're right, that does make a big impact. But, um, yeah, definitely take care of your body. What I m- what do I mean by that? 

Well, if you're smoking cigarettes, maybe you should stop. Um, if you're drinking a lot of alcohol, maybe minimize it, you know? Uh, go for walks. If you don't wanna go to the gym, that's not your thing, fine. Go for a little brisk walk, maybe carry some, like, little light weights. I have these little weights that I keep on my couch when I sit down. 

At the end of the night, and I watch a little movie or a little Netflix or whatever, and I just pick up the dumbbells while I'm watching TV. Let me tell you, I wake up in the morning and my arms are burning. Right. Like, little things like that, trying to eat healthier, move your body, and be around people that you wanna be around. 

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Because if you got negativity around you, let me tell you, the stress of that, forget it. That, that adds zero quality to your life and c- the anxiety is just not worth it. Yeah. Yeah. Set, set those boundaries. Yeah. And don't be afraid to. Yeah. Right. I think that's the beauty also about turning this age, is that, um, the zero fucks button is pushed. 

Yeah. Yeah. Do you agree with that? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, definitely. Oh, yeah. I re- I remember listening to Taraji P. Henson. I love her. Somebody asked her that question, like, what, what do you... What, what did you learn at 50 that you would tell some- me in my 30s? Mm-hmm. And that was her main thing. Yeah. I don't give a fuck. 

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I don't. I mean- I remember watching that. I saw that, yeah. And she was like, "You know, in your 40s you say it, but you don't really mean it. You still kinda give a fuck." Mm-hmm. But once you hit that 50, you really don't give a fuck. Yeah. And I was like- That's so true ... yeah, you're, uh, you're asking yourself different questions at this age. 

Yeah. Yeah. 'Cause you're just kinda like, "Yeah, mm-mm. That's not for me." Yeah. You spend so much time- That's a no ... trying to, um, please others- Right ... and- Mm-hmm ... or, you know, or what are they gonna think, or what if, and- Right. No. Stop that and you're living a happier- Yeah. If you're in a better mood, your peace is- Mm-hmm 

you know, important. Yeah. Very important. Yeah. My peace is very important. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I think that's why also a lot of people, their friendships, and their dynamics, and their circles also, uh, start to change, and people start to leave your life, or maybe they're not in your life anymore, um, because you don't have things in common anymore- Right 

or you had a falling out, or, or, or words were exchanged. And I think what you can say to yourself if that's causing you any type of pain or, or sadness, 'cause it happens a lot more common than people think. Um, Jessi- J- actually, Jessica was the one that told me this a few years ago. She says, "Appreciate the person that was in your life for the seasons that they were in it, what they meant to you, the happiness that they brought into your life, and wish them well, and walk away with peace." 

Yeah. Mm-hmm. And, and only wish them happiness because we evolve. If I still was the same person that I was when you met me, Monica, right? We've known each other a really, really long time. Very long time. I would say I'm still a humorous person and, and things of that nature, but if I was still the same person that you met when we were 15 years old, I think you would not be friends with me. 

I, I don't think you could be because how can, how can a 49-year-old woman who's gone through everything that you've gone through still be friends with someone that's mentally acting like she's still- Right ... that way? We have to evolve. Yeah. We have to grow. We have to change. So sometimes family, marriages, family members, best friends, they fall off- Mm-hmm 

because that person you're becoming no longer fits in their world. Right. Right. And that's okay. Yeah. That took me a very long time to realize and to accept, but I'm okay with it. I'm okay with it. It's a tough thing, too. Mm-hmm. Especially if you're in a marriage like that- Yeah ... or in a relationship- Yeah 

with that person. Divorce is terrible. Yeah. I mean, I've n- I've never gone through it, but I'm a, I'm a child of divorce. I've, I've been around a lot of people, uh, that have gotten divorced, nasty divorces, admirable divorces, where you're like, "Wow, they're, like, still friends." Right. You know, people who divorce... 

There's all types of divorces, and you always think, "I'm never gonna be able to recover from this," but you do. Yeah. It may take years, but you will recover, and part of that recovery is figuring out what's your second act. Yeah. And that's why you see people change. They change their hair color. Uh, they join the gym. 

They drop 20 pounds. Uh, they're like, "I'm not doing this anymore." And then they'll be like, "Oh, well, why didn't you do that while we were married? You know, you were unattractive and overweight when we were married, and then as soon as we got divorced, you got hot." And I've, I've seen that. I've seen people say things like that on social, social media, and the responses are always like, "Because you were so toxic that you literally were making me so depressed and so sick, I couldn't even see myself as being able to do that. 

And as soon as I left you, I did it for me, not for you." Right. I was like, what a great response. So if that's... Hopefully that's not something you're going through, but if it is, believe me, that's gonna be something that's just for you. I agree. I think it's very powerful. Yeah. You know, some of the, some... I've seen women in their 50s that are in the best shape of their lives. 

Oh, yeah. I've seen pictures of them when they were teenagers and what they look like now, and I'm like, "How the hell do you look better at 51 than you did when you were 16?" I think, too, you start to realize... The doctor, she said, "The muscle mass you have now, you're not gonna get any more. Like, you have to take care- Mm-hmm 

what you have- What you have, mm-hmm ... and keep it fit because you're not gonna, you're not gonna get more muscle mass. Mm-hmm. What you have is... That's it. That's it. And I was like, "Okay." No, no. Yeah. That's f- Yeah ... that's facts. So that's why we're saying, like, we're trying to be positive, but we're also trying to keep it real. 

Yeah. Like, you only have one body, and if you're, you know, in your mid-40s or tapping into 50, you really... This is crunch time. This is the time for you to say, "I need to step it up. I need to, you know, really look at my nutrition, really exercise." Uh, if you smoke or drink, maybe bring that down a notch, especially the smoking. 

I would say smoking, that's one thing, if you could try and just stop it altogether. Yeah, I think smoking is definitely n- numero uno. But, um, you know, you... It's totally possible to reinvent yourself at 50 or to fall in love again in 50 and get married at 50 and have children and build a family and all those things. 

There's a lot of people traveling alone in their 50s. Oh, yeah. And I love it. A lot of that, mm-hmm. Because people can't go with them or- Nobody wants to go with them. Right. And they're like, "I've always wanted to go to this country and nobody wants to go with me," or, "Nobody can afford to go with me," or, but... 

And they're like, "I'm gonna go by myself." Yeah. I love that. I would do it. Yeah. I would do it. I would travel solo ... the bravery that it takes for you to do solo traveling. Exactly. Wow. I, I mean, I've never done it, and I'm like, I don't know if I have the courage to do it, but maybe, maybe I would. I think you would. 

Yeah. If you have bambinos in the car, you may wanna lower down the volume. So I wanted to talk about something that has been really taboo for women. Uh, at least I know growing up people didn't talk about it. It was something that was like, "Oh, don't, you can't say that," or you hush hush or you went into the room and you whispered it, but it was about, uh, about sex, you know? 

And what do I mean by that? Well, you know, sex as an older woman can be fantastic. Uh, sex as an older woman can be very powerful. Um, I know that for younger people you're still try- your insecurities, you don't know what to do, you're still trying to figure things out. Maybe you're not that vocal. But what if you're a woman in your 40s and 50s and you've never had an orgasm? 

That is very real because did you know that 1 out of every 10 women have never, ever experienced an orgasm? 1 out of every 10 women, not even once, okay? And even among women who have, only about 7 out of the 10 say that they experience it regularly- Even in their marriages and in committed relationships. 

Right. So I think that it's an important conversation to have even though we're ta- talking about being in your 50s because I saw a movie. Uh, I saw a movie one day. Mike went to, um, play golf and, uh, I was just like, "Oh, I'm gonna stay home," and I usually play music. I limpio la casa, I do some laundry. I cooked dinner or whatever. 

But I was like, "Okay, let me put a movie on." And I, I put it on, and it was, uh, with Emma Thompson. I love Emma T- I, I always try to watch all her movies 'cause I'm just a really big fan. And I, I didn't recognize the movie, and it was called Good Luck to You, Leo Grande. So I was like, "Okay, I'm, I'm gonna watch the movie." 

No idea what the movie was about, just put it on because it was Emma Thompson. Well, let me tell you. I was, like, blushing, turning red. I was like, "Oh my God," because the movie is about a woman in her 60s who had never had an orgasm and had been married to the same man for, like, over 40 years, and never was able to have an orgasm with her husband. 

I think every woman should see this movie. You know how that book came out, um, the one about the, um, 10 Shades of Gray? Is that what it's called? 50 Shades. 50, 50 Shades. I didn't even read the book. I never read it. But it was like a phenomenon and everyb- Yeah ... and then they did the movies and whatever. Yeah. 

I did see the movies, but I didn't read the books and stuff. I think that this one is even better because it's real. It's not, like, kinky shit. It's about a woman who's saying, like, "I just was... My hus- I loved my husband. My husband loved me. We just got into this cycle. He would do what he needed to do, and then that w- that was it. 

And that's how I thought it was always... I just thought that's how sex was." And, um, she ends up... I don't wanna destroy the movie for you, but she ends up, uh, you know, finding somebody that's willing to help her with that. And it's so tastefully done. And, um, I ended up, like, feeling emotional at the end of the movie 'cause I started thinking to myself, like, imagine if you're in that situation, whether it's a sexless marriage or a marriage that you've never been able to have an intimate moment like that with someone that you love. 

This is a real, real problem. Yeah. Doesn't Eve talk about this in that show? Yeah. Yeah. What was the name of that show again that we did? Um, big clit energy. Yeah. Yes. So if you wanna listen to that show, you should. It's called The Orgasm Gap. The Orgasm Gap. Yeah. So we tap into that, too. Mm-hmm. But I did not know that one out of 10 women in their whole lives, and specifically in this age of 40s and 50s, have never experienced that. 

Yeah. Yeah. I watched a Netflix documentary on that, and it was, it was a little surprising to see- They, you know, 'cause they interviewed different women. Mm-hmm. And, um, I was like, "Oh, okay. Interesting." It's an interesting- Yeah ... topic. 'Cause some of them- An interesting topic ... as old as they were, like, some would say that they didn't even know, like, the, the clitoris, like, they don't... 

Where is it? You know what I mean? Like, it's like- They didn't know where it is. They didn't know. They knew, like, they thought it was this thing, and she's like, "No, it's a complete organ," and she's showing them. Yeah. She's like, "Oh. Okay." Listen, I- Yeah ... I did a little research on this, and I'm not making fun of anybody. 

I'm not. It's just, it's just to me like, wow, people, like, so many people don't know. Like, a lot of women don't even realize that when they urinate, they're urinating from a completely- D- ... different area. Yeah. They think it's coming out of, like, you know, the, the, the main- Vagina, yeah ... the main hole. Right. Um, and they think that that's where the pee pee comes out. 

And I'm like, wow. Yeah. Like, they- Some people don't ... they don't realize that- Yeah ... that that's not where our pee pee comes out from. Right. It's mi- because the shame to talk to your daughters about these things. Men talk to their sons, "Okay, this is what you do. This is the how you put a condom on. This is da, da-da, da-da-da." 

You know, they, they do it. Yeah. But we, we don't. What do we say? "Don't get pregnant. Take care of yourself. Don't do..." But we don't really go into specifics because my, my mother n- my mother never talked to me about my period, period. Right. That was like a no... Yeah. Same here. I remember I thought I was dying. 

Mm-hmm. I was 13 in the bathroom crying. My mother gets home from work. I didn't... And I was like, "I don't know how to tell my mother that I'm dying." And you know what she told me? "Oh, it's okay, honey. You're a woman now." That was the conversation. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's how it was back then. That was the conversation. 

So s- no wonder there's so many women in their 40s and 50s today that probably still don't realize it is not normal if you've never experienced an orgasm, and you're in a long, committed relationship. It's okay to tell your husband what you like- That's a- ... how to touch you. Yeah. Mainly in heterosexual relationships. 

It is. Mm-hmm. Because there's a shame. There's a shame. Like, if it starts to feel good, and then he stops, um... And I, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so graphic. I didn't think the show was gonna go this way, but, um, I'm a little inspired because it makes, makes me sad to know that there's so many women who are afraid to maybe tell their husband, "No, don't, don't stop. 

Keep going. I, I like that. That feels good." In their mind, they're like, "No, that's embarrassing." Or, or, you know- Or s- or somebody may not know. Right They may not know what they like. And if you don't tell- Right. Don't... You know, like- ... your partner what you like, how can you expect him to do it- Right Yeah ... to, to you? 

It's, it's very complex. There's, there's many different reasons why, um, maybe women don't communicate like this. Well, that's why that episode is good to listen to, the Big Clit Energy, because she- Yeah ... I mean, and there you ha- She talks about ... she talks about that- Yeah ... and how you, you gotta get to know your body first. 

Yes. Right. Yes. So if you've never had an orgasm- Mm-hmm ... like, how How are you gonna know what's gonna give you an orgasm? Yeah. Right? I just don't think that you should be entering the second act of your life this way if this is happening to you. You shouldn't be. The, maybe, you know, if you're a teenager and you're early 20s, I get it. 

Not maybe you're n- I get it. But if you're about to, to turn 50 and this is still a reality for you in a, in a, especially in a marriage, in a committed relationship, um, no girl. Like make a change. Make the change. Like have the conversation. Be like, "You know what? I, we're ... You know, and work on it." No. That's, no. 

Your face. I- no. Your face. Because- Damn it ... damn, no. You guys, I'm telling you. Or watch that movie with your husband. Oh. It could be something as simple as- Yeah ... "Oh, I'm gonna put a movie on," and put that Emma Thompson movie, Good Luck to You, Leo Grande. That movie is going to really impact not only you, but perha- or open up a conversation. 

And for the love of God, do not watch porn. Yes. That is not- No ... realistic. That is not- This movie is not- Like I'm not saying ... No. This movie is, is a beautiful movie and it's tastefully done. It, it just made me realize there are a lot of women out here in these streets that are married in heterosexual long-term relationships and have never had an orgasm with their husband. 

Hmm. That's sad. Make the change. Okay, Michael. I'm gonna go see the movie. You are? I do. I wanna see it. It looks pretty good. It does. You know, there are a lot of examples, uh, celebrities, artists, authors, all types of people who we can talk about right now as examples of people who were late bloomers or people who are advocates. 

Like I, I don't know about you ladies, but I love Kate Winslet. She's, I've watched almost all her movies, but she just turned 50, uh, last year, and she is a huge advocate of being natural, not getting plastic surgery, being okay with your body the way God gave it to you, being okay with not trying to look 30 when you're 50, embracing your wrinkles, embracing your sexuality. 

Um, Kate Winslet is just to me like in the forefront of acceptance. And I saw this video of her on, I think it was on Instagram. I'm gonna play it for you. It's just like a 15-second video, but just the way she expressed herself was so inspirational to me. I did it, and I'm 50. You know, you can do things for the first time in life at the age of 50, girls. 

Yeah. Get out there. So we have a first-time production designer, brilliant woman named Alison Harvey, who'd been on set props for years. And I thought, "Why is she, why isn't she designing? I keep hearing this woman's name. She must be amazing." I thought, "I bet she had a family, and she just got stuck in needing to find work." 

And lo and behold, that's exactly what had happened. I said, "Okay, come on girl. It's your turn now." I love when she said, "Come on girl. It's your turn now." Mm-hmm. She has tons and tons of interviews, videos on social media where she's talking about em- embracing- everything about yourself as you age and not to be ashamed of it. 

And this is gonna sound like a crock of bullshit, but earlier in this podcast, or this episode, I admitted to you ladies that I had the wrinkles on my neck and, and I felt, like, really shitty about that, you know? Yeah. And I started watching her videos, and she kinda has it too, you know? And she was ta- And it made me feel, it made me feel good. 

Right. It didn't make me feel bad anymore. That's the power of other women sharing their insecurities and being vulnerable, like the three of us are. Yeah. 'Cause that's what... We're, we're being raw and honest. But how many women, hopefully, knock on plastic, are listening to us right now and saying, "Fuck, I feel good about myself"? 

Yeah. I hope that we can be that for you. Yeah. You know, look at all the examples, like for, um, Vera Wang. Mm-hmm. Yeah, she's a definitely a great example of- Yeah, she is ... a late bloom. What is it? Yeah, late bloomer. A late bloomer. Um, because she didn't start, she didn't start in fashion until, like, 40. She didn't start designing until 40. 

That's crazy. And her- 40 ... yeah, her, her early life she was a, um, you know, like teenagers, she was a figure skater. Mm-hmm. And- I didn't know she was a figure skater ... yeah, like teens. In her early age to her teens she was a figure skater, and then after she graduated college she got a job at Vogue as a journalist and editor, and she worked there for 17 years. 

Wow. Yeah. 'Cause right now she's, correct me if I'm wrong, she's, like, in her 70s right now, and she looks amazing. Yeah. Yeah. Well, she was their, she was one of their youngest ed- um, editors there. Yeah. So she did really well there, and she was there for 17 years, but they passed her by for a promotion of editor-in-chief, and she was not happy about it. 

I mean, you can imagine being at a company for 17 years and you don't get that promotion that- Wow ... you've been wanting. This was at Vogue. At Vogue. I didn't know this. And then she left there and went to Ralph Lauren. And while she was there at Ralph Lauren she wa- I think she was roughly there for, like, two years, but she got engaged and to be married. 

And as she was looking for wedding dresses she was like, "There was not enough options out there." She didn't like a lot of things that were out there that were available for her, and she decided to design her own wedding dress, and it's all history from there. And her dresses are- Yeah ... breath- I have three of her- She opened up- 

not wedding dresses, but regular dresses. They're breathtaking. Yeah. She opened up her own bridal store. Yeah. And eventually started selling her designs, which became iconic. Iconic Yeah, almost every celebrity was. That's what they were. Yeah. Yeah. At 40. At 40. That's incredible. Mm-hmm. Well, that's a little bit h- how I feel about, uh, Julia Child, 'cause you ladies know I like to cook. 

Like, that's my thing. I love to cook. Yeah. And, um, I've watched the movies that were made about her and the series that have been made about her, and it was on HBO. It's called Julia. It was really good. But anyway, um, yeah, she started writing her book, uh, along with some of her, um, girlfriends, and she was denied. 

It took... I mean, it took such a toll on her life to write this, uh, the b- the book that changed the cooking world forever. Yeah. And finally, someone decides to take a chance on her. She gets a book agent. They publish the book. She revolutionizes the whole cooking industry, and at the age of 50, she was the first person ever to get on TV and cook. 

So every person that you see today that's on TV cooking owes it to Julia Child, and she did it at 50 years old. Yeah. And I, uh, I actually get a little emotional thinking about that, 'cause I'm like, do you understand, especially back in those times, 50 was considered very old- Right ... versus now 50 is still not considered too old. 

And the bravery that it take for her to go on TV and say, "I'm gonna go out there and I'm gonna make some chicken." Mm-hmm. And you're gonna watch me. And you're gonna watch me make the chicken. Well, that's like Martha Stewart. She started... She went from being, like, a stockbroker- Yeah ... in her 30s. She changed a few times. 

Yeah. Yeah. Did she? I don't know so much about Martha. Yeah. She started, um, the whole cooking and... Well, not just cooking, but house or homemaking. It was- Right ... well, like, homemaking stuff. Yeah. Yep. DIY this- Mm-hmm ... baking that, and she was already in her 40s when she started that. Yep. Then magazine, and that's it. 

It went from there. And, uh, yeah, I know she got arrested and she went to jail, but even after that, that didn't stop her. She came out- That didn't stop her ... and she was like- She kept going ... she became friends with Snoop Dogg after that. Yeah. She became much stronger after that, for sure. She like, whoa. Yeah. 

There's a lot of people we can, we can look... I mean, Toni Morrison didn't write her first book until she was, like, 40. Mm-hmm. Viola, Viola Davis. You is kind. You is smart. You is important. You is important. She, uh, I think we can all say that she's probably one of the best actresses of our era right now, and, um, yeah, she was al- not given parts. 

She was refused, and she kept on, and she, she was relentless. And at 50, she won an Oscar. Mm. So I hope that in us giving you these little examples and maybe saying, "Oh, those are celebrities." Well, they weren't celebrities. They weren't born celebrities. They- they're not nepo- No ... babies. These are people who believed in themselves, who worked hard to achieve what they wanted, and they attained their goals through hard work and dedication. 

It's not gonna be easy for you to achieve what you want, but you have to start somewhere. And if it's today, then I hope it's today. I mean, think about it. You... I mean, I understand people can get a little, um- Discouraged ... discouraged. Thank you. I understand that people can get a little discouraged, but you have to kind of change your perspective a little bit and think about everything that you've been through, whether it's been good or bad. 

You know, just the wisdom that comes from that, the experience that comes from that. That's what you bring here today. Like, who, who I was just talking about, Vera Wang. I mean, she's, she started out, you know, as an editor at a company, you know, writing for somebody else, and she got redirected. You know what I mean? 

She's shopping for a wedding dress, and all of a sudden she's designing, you know. It's just, she was redirected, but she's bringing years of experience. Like we were saying, you know- Yeah ... you just, the clarity and the, you know, the judgment and all of that. You bring all that with you to where you are today and, you know, you could do anything. 

Start over again. Reinvent yourself. You're absolutely right, Maritza. You're absolutely right. And, uh, I'm glad that you ... I'm g- I'm excited because I feel like- Yeah ... this is a show that the three of us are, like, really chiming in a lot and- I mean, I can't- Yeah ... I don't, I don't ha- I, I can't say that I have a direction right now because I'm still trying to figure it out, but I, uh- Me too 

but I am excited to, you know, to see what my, you know, 30 more years are gonna look like. Yeah. I, I'm excited to see what that is. I, I have time to try new things, and that, that's exciting to me. Yeah. Well, you know, I've already shared this story with you ladies for a long time, so it's not like you're not gonna know what I'm talking about. 

But I've never brought it up in one of our, um, one of our shows. And I hope you don't mind, but I feel ready. But you both know that for a good portion of these last two years, I've been, uh, writing a book. Right. Right? And I finished it, and I've been trying to find an agent, um- And I'm so proud of you, by the way. 

Thank you. I know you guys have been the best. That, that right there is... Aw, thank you. And here's the thing. Um, the girl that I was in my 20s and 30s would've been like, "I c- I can't do that." Right. I'm, here's, here's the vulnerable part, 'cause I'm a college dropout and I didn't do very well in school. Uh, there's many reasons why I didn't. 

But I realize it's not because I'm stupid or dumb, it's just other, other things. But anyway, uh, not to get emotional here, but it's just something that I thought was not attainable. It was just like, it's n- th- me? Right a- cr- never. Mm-hmm. Um, I'm very proud of it. It's taken a good- You should be ... two years of my life. 

And the courage that I s- to believe in myself and to say, "No, I'm, I'm gonna do this." Yeah. You know? And I've been trying to find... I could publish it myself, but I don't want to. I really wanna find, uh, an agent. So I've been very vulnerable, sending to strangers, people that don't know me, and, "Hi, my name is Jasmin." 

And I'm sending, sending query letters and, and, and I'm sending prologues, and I'm sending the first chapter. And, and many, many, many, many times I'm... I don't even get a response. I d- I'm just left on read or ignored. Yeah. I'm not even worthy of a response. But then I got a response, and yes, I was still rejected in the response. 

But it was a response. Right. And, and I was laughing and I was like, "Mike, I got a response." And Mike was like, "Oh my God." He was like, "No, no, he's not gonna do shit." But he responded. He was like, "Oh, but at least he didn't ignore you." Exactly. Right. The girl of 20 years ago would've given up. I would've never even continued to try, and I, uh, definitely would've been, like, low self-esteem. 

And I'm like, "No, J, keep going. You're gonna, you're gonna get an agent." Yeah. I, I know that maybe that's the little- You have a more positive outlook on it. Yes. Yeah. Yes. And it, and if, and if it happens when I'm 60, then let it happen when I'm 60. Yeah. I, there's no time limit that I'm putting on it. I'm just not giving up. 

That's very personal for me- Mm-hmm ... to, to discuss. I've discussed it with my best friends, but never on any of my social media platforms that I, I like to do, or even here on Red Lips. But- But saying it out loud does something too ... but saying it out loud does something too. Thank you for saying that. Yeah. 

And that's what I'm trying to say. Find the courage within yourself to go and say, "It's not too late for me." You wanna get in the best shape of your life, start today. Right. It's- And it doesn't have to be anything big or dramatic. It could be very small steps. If, if you wanna take that trip to Italy- A walk 

and you're like, "I don't think I can," yes, you can. Make it happen. Take that trip. You wanna start your business. Look into it. Make it happen. Right. You, you... And I'm not trying to be funny. I'm really not trying to be funny, but if you've never had an orgasm and then you wanna have an orgasm, have an orgasm. 

I'm just trying to, I'm trying to prove different points here. Right. It's like you have to start today. Today is the day for you to say, "This is my second act and I have to do something about it"- Right ... "now." Well, I wanna say there's data that shows that age 50 to 59 dominates the entrepreneurial landscape, representing 35% of small business owners, followed by those age 40 to 49. 

So together, these age groups account for about 60% of new small businesses. Wow. Yeah. I did not know that. Yeah. That's why I love that we're doing factual things. Yeah. Because one thing is taking- I mean- ... something out of your ass and saying- Right ... "Oh yeah, do it." And one thing is saying, "No, I can prove." 

Seriously. Almost- Yeah ... half of women entrepreneurs are between the age of 40 and 55. So I don't know if you know the Huffington Post. Yes. Yeah. Ari- Wow ... Arianna Huffington. Yeah. She didn't start her sh- until mid, in her mid-50s when she launched The Huffington Post. Harry Potter. How old was J.K. Rowling when... 

And she wrote that book in a coffee shop. That's right. Would buy one cup of coffee, 'cause that's how poor she was. Single mom. So they wouldn't kick- Yeah ... single mom, so they wouldn't kick her out, and she wrote that book in there. Yeah. And, you know, she got rejected by everybody. Exactly. Exactly. Everybody rejected her because they said that this is too dark for kids and, uh, it was- How old was she? 

I'm sorry. Let, let's g- let's ask our IT guy. Oh, our garcon. What do we call him? Garcon. Garcon. Garcon, how old was J.K.? How- Please hold. Please hold. 

Hold on. I know she was, like, 40s, maybe. No, no. She was young. She was young. Oh. She was young. But it's okay. J.K. Rowling was 25 years old when she wrote Harry Potter. But when she finally- Oh. When it finally- Published ... published. All right, here it goes. How- 'Cause I think- Garcon. Garcon, how old do you think- Chatty, chatty 

okay. No. Not chatty. Not chatty. She started writing young, but she became successful, like, l- people know who she was, like, Harry Potter became at, I think at a later age. 32. Okay. I'm wrong. No, she was young, but it still took her s- that's seven years. Yeah. She had years of people telling her. Mm-hmm. No, and most people, uh, give up. 

Yeah. I remember reading a Reddit story about a guy who turned 50, and he was like, "You know what? I'm making a five-year plan." Okay. And his five-year plan at 50 was to earn a, I guess, a master's in accounting- Okay ... to become a CPA, to get in the best shape of his life- Mm-hmm ... and to run marathons. Mm-hmm. 

And sure enough, by the time he was 55, he accomplished it all. Yes. Wow. I was like, "Oh." Yeah. When I read that, I was a little like, "Wow, you're running?" At 50? Yeah. Your knees don't hurt? Yeah, but that's drive. But, yeah. That relentless- It can be done ... drive. Yeah. It can be done. It can be done. Absolutely. It can be done. 

It can be done. Yeah. I, I know someone who just started their, you know, the food trucks. Mm-hmm. It's a, it's a gelato, that she's selling gelato, and she just started her own business. How- And- And she's in her 50s? Yeah, she's our age. Wow. See? You see? Anyone can do it. Anyone can do it. And I think at this age you have more, um, again, knowledge, experience, and patience. 

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Right? I think. So you'll probably end up being more successful in the long run because you have all those things to help you. Right. Yeah. All that experience. All that experience. Yeah. And don't be afraid if your circle actually gets smaller too, because a smaller circle just m- could also mean that just, uh, you have the right people around you that are gonna support you also- Yeah 

in your dreams. 'Cause I have... I'm still a person who dreams, and I have... You guys are, like, so supportive. You're always like, "Of course you could do..." You know. Mm-hmm. And, and that's a beautiful thing, and I hope that I can be that for you too. Yeah. Because I believe in you guys, too, and you l- beautiful ladies. 

And that, and women friendships are, are very important. And I, and to our listeners- Mm ... I hope that this show has been, um, impactful, inspirational, motivational, that it's made you feel good about yourself. If you're, you just fell in love for the very first time, congratulations. If you're getting married late, congratulations. 

If you're having your baby right now and you're an older lady, congratulations. If you're a mother and you're 50 with little kids, you did it. You're a great mom. Congratulations. If you started your own business, congratulations. And if you're thinking about making a huge change in your life, go for it. And if, when you don't believe in yourself, listen to this show again, 'cause we believe in you. 

Hasta la próxima. Hasta la próxima. Thank you for listening. Make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss an episode. We will be dropping an episode every two weeks. Oh, yeah. No, like, seriously, subscribe now. So just chill till the next episode. Follow us on Insta and TikTok. Hasta la próxima.