The Rise of Intentional Living

In this episode, the hosts take a closer look at the growing movement toward intentional living—a lifestyle that's becoming much more common than they realized. From tiny homes and minimalist living to solo travel, decluttering, and even extended-stay hotel life, they explore why people of every generation are choosing simplicity, flexibility, and peace over the constant pressure to do more and own more. Along the way, they share personal experiences, surprising statistics, and candid conversations about whether they could embrace this lifestyle themselves. The episode leaves listeners with one big question: Is true success about having more, or creating a life that feels more meaningful?

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Transcript

Oye mi gente, you're listening to the Red Lips Real Talk podcast, where we talk about life,
love and everything in between. You already know, it's time to get real. Dale.
Welcome to Red Lips Real Talk. Today we're diving into something that feels like a huge shift happening right now. From downsizing and decluttering to taking yourself out to dinner or booking a trip alone. more people are starting to choose peace and simplicity over stress and pressure.
So today we're asking, is this becoming the new form of self-care? And before we jump in,
don't forget to rate, review, and share this episode with someone entering their peaceful era. Whether that's downsizing, traveling alone, or simply choosing more peace and freedom in their life. Your support helps Red Lips Real Talk grow and keep these conversations going.
All right, let's get into it. So what is this era that we're talking about?
What's it called? Intentional living. Yeah. People are becoming more intentional about what they allow into their lives physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially.
And that's not just our age group either. No, it's not. I thought it was like...
that's where I feel like I'm in that stage where I'm living more an intentional life.
But no, a lot of the younger generation are choosing that lifestyle as well.
Yeah, people are becoming more intentional about what they allow in their lives these days. It's something that they think about first. Right. Before going on with the hustle and bustle and trying to accomplish things. A lot of people are choosing to decide whether or not they want that life versus peace. Yeah. I always thought it was something that comes with age.
Right. But yeah, older. But I'm seeing now that there's the younger generation are just choosing. They're choosing to live this lifestyle. And what I mean, what lifestyle would that be? Basically, living with purpose. Right. Not just living like there's something that I want to come out of my life or I want to not so much accomplish. CEO status,
but they want to, they want intentional life. They want to slow down. Yeah. They want,
they're being mindful about their time, money. Oh yeah. That's a big one.
And their energy. I mean, we've covered how they're drinking less too.
So they're really, you know, focused, I think. Just more concentrated on what they're doing, more mindful on what they're doing with their decisions and their lifestyle. Their decisions are intentional. They're not just going with the flow, which is, I think, a great thing because burnout is real. Absolutely. And I think them watching their parents go through that, that has a lot, too. They don't want to. I don't want to do that. I don't want to look like that.
Yeah. And I think, too, I hate to keep going back to COVID, but. I think COVID has taught people a lot as well about intentional living. And I think we've said before that the younger generation, they're just more loners, right? They're like more of a loner. Yeah.
Kind of. I guess because they were able, they learned, right? With COVID, you kind of had to be alone. Right. So it can be really bad for some and then, or you make the best of it.
Or you make the best of it. Which a lot of people did. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people started their social media journeys. They learned how to live off of social media, basically.
Yeah. And they, you know, that era too, a lot of people on social media have community within the social media. So you may be alone physically, but you still have those people that you can talk to on social media. Right. I guess it's easier to get used to or get more comfortable with being solo.
Yeah. when you have no choice, right? Right. I guess so. Yeah. It's just,
it's a more common thing too, just doing solo or downsizing. I've seen,
there's somebody that I follow, an old friend who, her and her husband, they bought an RV, they rented out their house and they took off for, I think a year and just,
you know, went to different areas in the RV and. They just long road trip to different locations.
And it was really cool just watching her post pictures about it. And she did a whole tour of her RV. She had her son with her as well. I think he was probably 13, 14. And I was like, wow, could could I downsize like that?
I mean, because there's people that they live the van life, they do the road trip. But I think
eventually some of these people also. Start buying these small homes, right? The tiny living, is that what they call it? Yeah, the tiny homes. Yeah, they choose to do that. Off the grid.
Yeah. Well, some of them are not off the grid, but some of them are. Well, they have tiny home communities now. Yeah. Where it's multiple tiny homes and you have your own little neighbors. Right. Like it's a community. Like how you have these big cookie cutter homes. Right. With an association. They have those. They have tiny home communities. Like 10 homes. In a circle. And a small community. But it's still community. I think if I was to live in a tiny home, I would rather it in a community than off-grid, I'm thinking. Even though the off-grid sounds so peaceful, but I feel like I would get lonely out there. Yeah, that would be a real thing. 
Yeah. But don't be surprised that there's a lot of people that live on land like that.
where you don't have a neighbor that's 5, 10, 20 feet from you or even 100 feet from you,
but you still have a neighbor. Right, but you still have a neighbor. And those communities, those people are actually a lot closer and more active than the people in my community would say.
My neighbor is literally, I can reach out my window and be like, hey, what's up? They don't talk to you. We don't talk to them like that. Don't even know their name. Like one neighbor we do, the other neighbors don't even know who they are. Right. They don't come out and be like, hey, you know. And it's weird because if you're walking your dog in a neighborhood and you say hi
to people you've never seen before and they give you this look like, yeah, okay, neighbor, bye. I won't say hi again. But those communities where their land is 10, 20 acres and they got to drive three, four miles just to say hi. Right. They're close. So you, I mean,
you probably wouldn't be lonely because you probably have that neighbor coming over. Maybe. Like, hey, Maritza. But if you're off the grid, you don't have any neighbors. Off the grid, that's a whole nother life. Yeah. That's like you don't want to be bothered with. You don't want nobody to know where you are, nobody to know what you have. You're just you and nature. You ready for the apocalypse. That's off the grid type shit. I will not.
I would not make it. I would not make it. My husband sees these houses. Well,
not the tiny homes, but he'll see houses in the middle of nowhere. And he's like, oh, that's so cool. I would love to do that. I'm like, are you crazy? In the middle of nowhere? I cannot. Yeah, but he's the last person that would want to be in the middle of nowhere. He will actually, I'll be there by myself all the time. That's what my husband says too. He's like, oh, I would like my dream is to leave. Right. To leave the country, move in a mountain, go to like Italy, Europe, whatever. Like, that's what I want to do. And he's like, oh, yeah, yeah. I'm like, listen. Listen, Linda. The first week there, you're probably going to want to freaking jump off the clock. 
I know that's not for you. Right. That's for me. And it's not for you, so we can't do it anytime
soon. But if he's like, no, no, yeah, no. No. No. When you can't have community right then and there, there are certain people who just cannot live without that. If I had to do the tiny home, I wouldn't even take him with me. It would just be me. My dog and my chickens. I will take my chickens with me. Well, you got to get along with someone. My chickens and my dog. To live in a tiny home. Oh, yeah. You have to. You have no space. No, it's tight. If you get into an argument, you can't just go to your room and lock the door. No. I've seen the tours. And, I mean, just watching the tours, I'm like, I feel claustrophobic already. Yeah. It's pretty tight.
Yeah, that's really something, you know, you really want to do. You're passionate to, like. You got to really want to do that. You got to really want to do it. Which I wouldn't mind doing that as long as I have land that I can step out onto. Right. And run away if I wanted to.
Yeah. Well, I mean, that that is the most important thing. If you if anybody's ever thought about downsizing or, you know, tiny home or whatever, I think. before you buy your little tiny home before you jump on amazon and say hey look at this house i'm gonna buy it and build it one of those little freaking houses first things first is buy your land first like for sure yeah like that's you know buy your land even if you have to put a little tiny home or trailer on that shit until you have enough money to build on it even if it's a tiny home but the land itself is like yeah that's like the first thing yeah that's the first step And most tiny homes are on wheels, so you can... You can move it around. Go buy one in another state and drive it to your end. I'd be like, babe, go outside and push it. Let's go over there. I'm just kidding. It's not like that. But I know that a lot of people are choosing to do that more so to downsize, like we said, to they don't need the space like they used to. Or financially, like they don't want to pay $600,000, $700,000 for a house. Yeah. when they can just do the tiny home. And you have everything you need in a home, and it doesn't have to be tiny. You can build it to where you have full-size washer, dryer. Well, the tiny homes, they have full-size appliances. Some of them, they choose to do the one washer and dryer together type of thing, which I've seen also on RVs. Okay. Depending on how much space you want, right? Because they do have smaller kitchen appliances and all that.
But you can build your tiny home with a full-size everything. You're just not going to have the free space to go in different rooms. Right. And storage is very minimal.
So if you're choosing to live a tiny home life, you have to...
You have to be creative with your storage. Well, you have to Marie Kondo your shit. Yeah. You have to get rid of everything. But also there is ways to be creative. You definitely do have to get rid of a lot. Right. But you do have to get creative also with your storage, too, because I saw a video and this man's tiny home. I mean, he he had like a little, I guess,
like a loft in his tiny home and the stairs that go up, all the stairs open up. And you could store things inside. Right. Or like, you know, underneath the beds kind of thing. Just, yeah,
you have to have storage everywhere. But you cannot have a lot of shit. Yeah, you can't take everything from your two or three bedroom home. Not if you're downsizing. You have to get rid of all that. But if this is your first time home, you might not have a lot of stuff already. Because they are saying that the younger generation are definitely tapping into this kind of living. Yeah, only 20% of all home purchases last year were from first-time homebuyers, which this is the lowest number since they started tracking it in 1981. Wow. And they're saying that when they break it down by generation, baby boomers, which is surprising to me, they make up 42% of all homebuyers, which I was surprised because baby boomers usually are trying to not. buy homes like you know like right downs i sell their shit and buy a little condo or something because you're at that at that point yeah so they're the the most buying homes and i think it was um millennials dropped from 29 to 26 and gen z is only at four percent of buying homes of being home buyers like they're barely in the market And these are regular homes you're talking about. Yeah, regular homes. Because I read that millennials and the younger demographics,
they make up the vast majority of the tiny home market. The tiny home market.
And that's why they're not buying these big size homes. Yeah. And usually a first time home buyer would go for like the two bedroom house with a little yard or whatever, you know, with the intention of living there, starting a family and then upgrading. Right. But that's not what we're seeing anymore. Now they're starting at tiny homes, right? They're cute.
They are cute. And I mean, if you're single, it's perfect. But there are also people that are
choosing to downsize for financial reasons, right? Because it's better for them.
It's more economical. With a family. I don't know. With a family. Yeah, I can't. 
I could do it if I was just me and my spouse or just me, but I can't imagine living. I mean,
I guess because, you know, I live in a regular size home. I couldn't imagine living in such a tiny house with children. Yeah. Well, I guess depends who on the age,
right? Yeah. Because if you have little ones, they don't really take up too much space. You can give them a lot of space. Yeah. But you can also, because I've seen people during COVID, after COVID. Like you said, buying the RVs, selling their homes. They buy these RVs with double-deckers or whatever. And they're just traveling the U.S. And it's a family of five. Right. With a dog. Yeah. Which is insane to me. Because my thing is like, where's my dog going to fit?
You know, I have a tiny home in my neighborhood. Really? Yeah. If you drive down this road and all the way at the end, there is, I want to say it's about an acre lot, right?
But the house on that lot is very small. I would consider it tiny.
And they have horses on their land, too. They just recently built, like, a horse stall and got two horses. So the horses kind of roam in the lot. But it's a tiny home there. Yeah. That's cute. I pass by it every day. Do they look lonely? See, and that's not far from you. No. It's right here. It's a neighbor. Yeah, it's a neighbor. Yeah, he's in the middle of, because I think that's the only small home that small.
I'm talking about it's small in this area. Yeah. I wonder if he's planning on building.
It's been there since I've lived here. Oh, wow. No, he's good. Yeah. I mean, I think there's no people that live there because they got horses, because before there was no horses on the property.
But now there is. And they actually fixed up the little house a little bit, like it looks a little.
cleaned up, I guess, you know, painted, but it's just a little house. I think I could do it.
Yeah. I think I could live in a tiny home. Like I can, I've been into or trying to do the minimalism, which is, it's like a big shock. So what is the minimalism?
Explain what that is. Where you only have what you need, basically Right. So like for me, I like coffee. So I have two coffee makers and a shitload of mugs,
right? Because I like cute mugs and I like coffee. So as a minimalist, you would only have one coffee maker and one mug. but yourself so you would have to like declutter everything oh get rid of all your mugs i have a cabinet full of mugs get rid of everything so now if you don't entertain people i could see people doing that but if you did you get rid of all your mugs did you get no no i haven't started okay you haven't started but where did you start because you said you were trying to my closet okay i'm like what part have you started my closet starting with my closet although i did do one time I took my husband's like, what are you doing?
Got rid of plates, cups, like all these things that I'm like, we don't need this because,
you know, nobody's coming over to our house anymore. Yeah. And I'm getting rid of all this stuff and bringing it to Goodwill. So we had like four plates, four cups, you know, it's just three of us in this house. We don't need so much. You don't entertain much. No. And if people come over, you just buy paper plates. And it was fine. Right. Buy the shit that you can throw away. 
Exactly. Because he wants to do dishes, right? And it was fine. It worked. But then eventually we ended up, I don't know how, somebody gave us stuff. So now we have more plates, more cookies. Oh, gosh. You were one step forward, two steps back. Yeah. It's just, I have a friend who, she throws everything out. She's not one for storage. Wow. And she's because who the fuck wants to who the fuck wants all that shit in their house to be cleaning all that stuff, right? I have a lot of stuff. I don't throw things away. She throws everything out that doesn't serve a purpose. And nope, she's I don't need it. It's got to go. Her house is impeccable. Everything is always clean.
Yeah, she's super organized and she does not have clutter. Yeah. And, you know, they say if you live in clutter, your life is clutter. My life is clutter. I am. I'm a big clutter.
Yeah, because I'll get things. I'll open a junk drawer, for instance I open it and I'm like, you know, I might need that someday. And I don't throw it away. 
And it's still there. And have I used it? No. No. I have a bunch of stuff that I need to get rid
of. I just don't want to yet. And a lot of it was my mom's.
Right. So it's like. I probably don't need it, but. But it has some sentimental meaning to it for a little bit. I have inherited a lot of stuff, too. Yeah. And I still have them.
You know, you feel bad saying, no. Yeah. I don't want it. Exactly. So do we know, going back to the tiny homes, like, because now I'm thinking storage and, you know, how much space do we have in these tiny homes? Usually they're about one to 400 square feet. So they're not, I mean, they're not that big. Yeah. That's an intent. That's like a real tiny home. Yeah. But you obviously can customize it. If you're building it.
Yeah. According to. If you're building it. Yeah. Yeah. They're often built on wheels, which,
so they can go wherever you want to go. They can move around. And basically designed for intentional living yeah you know for this is what i have and i don't need any more gonna spend time in nature you know that's mostly why people what i found interesting was the challenges as far as uh what the um the same i'm going back to the video um which is the zoning and the permitting and all that when it comes to where are you going to place your home at apparently that's like really the challenging part of it. Yeah. Well, like anything, you have to definitely do your due diligence and check out zoning laws or wherever you're going to put it because some places don't even allow
you to put a mobile home on your property. Right. So even if you are buying that land, you do still have to do research to make sure that you can put a mobile home or something on that land. And also not only that too, you have to be able to Put water and electric where you're going to put it. Electric, you could probably use the solar panels, right? Because if you're living off-grid or trying to live that type of life, you're probably going to want to use solar panels, especially if it's on wheels because you don't want to be tied down to one area, I guess. But water for plumbing, water and plumbing, you need to be able to do that. So those are things that you definitely have to
check out before you decide to invest in tiny home living. Tiny home living or even land.
Yeah, even land. I mean, land? Yeah. Yeah, but we have to see what you can do on that piece of land. Yeah, make sure you know what land you're buying. Right. What are you envisioning for that land? And can you do it on that piece of plot that you just bought? There was a story on the news.
I want to say probably like about two years ago, where a lady was buying land. She had a real estate agent and everything. Oh, gosh. And it was. It sounds familiar. I think I've heard this. Like $5,000 or $6,000. And so she goes and she pays it. And she buys this land.
And when she goes to see where it is, come to find out you can't build anything on that land. Oh, my goodness. So really. Really, you got to really check that out.
I was like, man, but she even used the freaking agent to help her. And they didn't, they did not talk about their plans? Nobody went to the county to say, hey, what is this for? Right. Like, what can I do with this land? I don't know. They were just trying to make their money.
Definitely be careful with that. Yeah. Monica, what would be something like,
let's say you say, okay, I'm going to buy this tiny home. I'm going to go off grid. What would be something that you would struggle giving up? Amazon.
Because if I'm living in a tiny home, I can't get all my packages. And off-grid. Do you imagine the Amazon man trying to find your house out there?
Wait a minute. Let me see. I don't know. What can I not? How would you get your packages? That's a very good question. Well, now that you brought that up. They're starting to use drones.
Really? What do they do? Drop your package from the air? I guess. I mean, I know they're testing it out, so I don't know. But they're trying to figure out how to get those people their packages. Their packages. They must have to drive into town to some location to pick up their packages. Usually you would probably have to get it delivered to like a post office. Your closest post office. Which is like... 20 miles. Exactly. I don't know. If I was to move into a tiny home, that's a good question. I would say the extra rooms, right? Right, the space. Your space because, I mean, you're downsizing.
Yeah, you know, because everything is in one room. Right. Basically. I would also miss my Publix because I can literally walk to my Publix. True. And that would be a huge adjustment. Well. Because I can just, I can literally walk there. It's right there. Yeah, where are you getting your, well, if you're not growing, well, okay. If you're living off grid, you got your own shit.
That's true. If you're living off, if you're living off grid, you're hunting for your meat, you're
fishing for your fish. That's true. You're growing your crops. But if I decide to live in a tiny home far away from, you know, like if I had to go to Walmart and it takes me an hour or whatever target, that's going to be kind of rough. Yeah. Because the convenience of running to your supermarket or Instacarting my shit is going to go away. All that luxury that you have at your fingertips kind of, it's harder. Everything we gained from COVID, right? Because that's where it all started. It did. Instacart, delivery, Uber Eats, all that. Yeah, it kind of goes away. It goes away. It's a big adjustment. Ain't nobody driving 50,000 miles to fucking drop off groceries for $10. No. No. Definitely not. It would be, definitely would be a huge transition.
And again, you really got to want to do it. Yeah, you really got to want to do it. But at that
point, you're basically learning to live. You're living off of your land. Yeah.
That would be your goal. Right. Which I would love to be able to do at one point to live off of my land when I get land. If I ever get land. Yeah. With a cow and a goat and some chickens. 
Yeah. I mean, it's, you know, with all the. Hard things and adjustment. I mean, but there is a freedom that you get out of it.
Yeah. Living like that, you know, and just in nature and intentional living,
you know, lifestyle, cows. And, you know, like you say, you grow on your own crops and you know where all of that is coming from. Since the younger generation is doing this, how is it?
I guess they must all be working remote. Yeah. Yeah, because you'd have to be working remote. And where are they getting their internet from? That's a good question. You know. The video that I watched, he didn't mention anything about the internet.
Although I know Elon Musk has Starlink, which is up in space. Of course he does.
Yeah. So you can get internet from Starlink. Okay. Satellite, right? That's now. Yeah, I guess. Satellite, internet. Yeah. There's ways. There's ways.
So as long as I have Internet, I have my coffee and my one mug. Yeah. I think I'll be OK. Yeah. And then, you know, they say you have like some kind of financial freedom
from it to lower. You know, you're paying less for your home. You have lower rent or mortgage.
Your utility bills are nothing compared to what we're paying in our houses.
And in this economy is right now, it's tough for a lot of people. Right. So and I remember I was watching some videos on people that decided that they want to do, I guess you can say for financial freedom. They're choosing to live in a one room setting. So they're going from renting these three bedroom houses or whatever to renting like an extended stay hotel room, which has a little kitchenette and a bed. And they I mean, these in these videos, they decorated and decked out these. You said a hotel room? Yeah. Oh, wow. And you can stay there for months. There was a lady that was living in a hotel for like two years. Wow. Because they're paying. Now, obviously, this all depends on where you live. Right. Because I know in South Florida, you're not going to be living in a hotel for $80 a night. That's not going to happen. But in these areas, their monthly hotel. room stay is let's say like $1,500 a month they would probably end up paying a little bit more in renting their home but they don't have to pay for cable they don't have to pay for internet they don't you know you save your money there water all that is included yeah
so they're saving money which okay if you have a goal if you have a plan right I have a plan you're
trying to save to buy a house in six months whatever you want to live at a hotel room I get it but
there are some people that are choosing to live like that Which I find insane. Right.
Because I guess the first thought that comes in my mind when I hear that is how stable is that?
Right. And if you're with children, I mean, you're jumping from hotel to hotel or you're just at
the hotel and you happen to they happen to tell you to leave for some reason. Yeah, like that one
lady. You don't have a home. Like, you know what I mean? You don't have a stable home. She was
there for two years. And for whatever reason. They said, no, you got to go.
And I mean, two years. Yeah. What was your plan? Right.
You know, there was a, you had to have a plan, right? You weren't trying to live there forever. But
yeah, she had to find another hotel. And there was a lady with her husband and two kids living like
that. And the hotel they were staying at provided breakfast and dinner for free. It was included.
So they were like, oh no, this is great. We pay less in rent. Yeah, you definitely save. We don't
pay utilities. Mm-hmm. And food is covered. Okay. And I think her husband works where he travels a
lot. Okay. So. That makes sense. Now, hear me out.
Okay, okay. Hear me out. There's more. I thought about this. I thought about this. So if it's going
to be cheaper for me to rent a hotel room for a month, right? Yeah. You're going to earn points.
And you can travel. And you can travel. That's true.
It's a win-win. It's a win-win.
You know how many points she accumulated in two years in a hotel? In a hotel. Yeah. It's like,
you're kicking me out? All right, I'm going to Europe. I'll get a hotel in Europe. Goodbye. No.
But, I mean, that is crazy to me.
Like, I can see if you're in between places. But the thing, too, is if you have to move out of one
home and you're renting, right? These are people that are renting, not necessarily homeowners.
You're renting an apartment or whatever, and you can't live there no more. You can't afford it. To
find somewhere else to live, to move in, you need first,
last, and security. So sometimes that's a good 13. 15 grand,
depending on where you live, just to put a down payment on a rental property,
which is insane. So, yeah, you know what? Let me live here for three months and get my 15,
20K and put a down payment on a house. Right. That would be a good plan.
Yeah, if you have a plan. If it's more economical that way, three,
six months tops. You get your down payment and you buy a house. Yeah, I'm all for it.
Yeah. Sounds like a plan to me. And you earn those points. But to live like that,
just like permanent residence, that's crazy. Yeah. I don't know how they do it, but some people do.
Some people do. And I guess it works for them. And I know you mentioned too how people,
I remember you telling me people do that on cruises as well. Like they just live on a cruise.
ship for a year. That's mostly retired people.
They're retired and I guess they want to travel the world. It's a great way to do it.
I mean, nowadays, I don't know. Because now we have things going on on the ships,
but we got the virus going around and all.
I could see how, you know, that would be besides that, besides this whole virus thing,
how, you know, how people do that. Yeah. You get to travel the world and you're there for.
Because it includes room, board, food. Right. I mean, you're paying,
the only thing you really have to pay extra for would be alcohol if you don't have the inclusive
package. Right. Exactly. Which I mean, if you're going to be on there for like a year, I could
imagine you're. If you drink, you're going to have that included. Yeah. Interesting. I don't know
how much it costs, but I can imagine. It makes me think,
though, because I'm like, you know, I consider myself, you know, like, you know, I'm getting older.
I'm like, oh, you know, the intentional living, you know, you kind of. Am I really doing it?
Because you hear about all this stuff and I'm like, I don't think I am. I don't even think I'm
close to it, you know, because we've talked about. being more um that whole not caring right fuck
and doing what we love and all that stuff i don't think we've really we haven't hit the mark yet we
haven't hit the mark yet exactly after reviewing all this stuff with the tiny home and yeah like
yeah i'm behind yeah because i'm thinking you know you know not to you know just i'm comparing
myself this is me personally you know comparing what what I have now and then downsizing to that
I'm like oh my goodness I don't think that I could do that you know but here I am talking about I
want to live an intentional life and I'm like but like you said I I now I'm I'm realizing I'm not
I'm nowhere near it I'm nowhere near it yeah well I mean you know we're near that that type of
intentional intentional living Because, you know, intentional living,
I would say, is not so much just physically like what you have.
It's also it's like we said, it's also emotionally. Right. That's true. So. Yeah.
Because I could I can do things on my own, you know, venture out alone and kind of like taking the
moments. I'm learning to get to start doing that again, as a matter of fact,
because. pre-family, you know, before kids, before my husband, before marriage and all that,
I used to go out all the time alone. It was easy. Yeah, it was easy for me. Movies,
I would go to lunch, I'd spend time in the library, you know, just do things alone.
I had no problems being on my own, you know, out and about when I wasn't with my girlfriends and
all. Now we're, you know, married, I'm married for 22 years.
My kids are grown. They're doing their own thing. And now I'm like, OK,
I have to learn how to enjoy my own company again and be comfortable with it.
So you got to start designing your life around fulfillment. Right. Instead of expectations.
Yes. Right. So you're in that process of slowing down because now you you're by your not that
you're by yourself, but you have more time to yourself. Right. Right. So you got to create those
routines that. Yeah, I got to find that to me. Yeah, exactly.
I got to find those, you know, you're kind of like or I'm kind of like finding myself again,
trying to, you know, OK, I probably enjoy that, you know, and being comfortable with my own
company, you know, going out for a coffee by myself or. Well, since you say that,
aside from tiny home living. Yeah. Being a thing. Solo traveling and solo dating is also a thing
now. It's a huge, I guess I would say a huge thing people are doing.
Well, I'm seeing that a lot now. Women traveling alone and just living their best life by
themselves. And I think it's scary. But I also think it's amazing.
I think that's amazing. If you can travel on your own, I definitely admire that.
I'm the biggest scary cat. I think about so many things.
So right now, maybe in the stage of my life that I am right now, I wouldn't think about it.
But I do admire the people that do it. Yeah, for sure. I mean, I think that's... Yeah.
If you can just travel alone. Well, sometimes when you're, when you're, when you're at that point
trying to figure out what you want. Yeah. In this stage of your life,
you need, I think you need to take that time to search within yourself. And the best way to do that
is travel. Yeah. Being alone. Like I'm not saying, Oh yeah. You have to go to another country
yourself, but. I mean, how would you feel about taking a weekend at a hotel on the beach?
I would love that. Right. Just taking it all in. Yeah. Just being by yourself and trying to figure
out. I think locally I could probably do it. Yeah. So I have not done it,
but I think about it and I'm like, I could probably do that, you know, like local.
Yeah. You know, get a room and stay on the beach. I could do it alone. But I think when it comes to
traveling to other places, and I'm talking about like Europe or, you know, anywhere, Spain alone,
to me, that's where it gets scary because they're unfamiliar places to me. Yeah. So I don't,
you know, I don't feel me personally. I just don't feel safe going on my own because I don't have
enough experience. I don't travel a whole lot to those places. So that's why I'm inexperienced when
it comes to that. Would you go to California by yourself? Yeah, I think I would. I've been there a
couple of times. So I am familiar, you know, but that's what that's where the familiar, you know,
the familiar comes in. So it doesn't have to be across the country. You can go to Napa Valley by
yourself and drink wine by yourself and just take it all in and be outdoors.
You're still, you know, the point is to be solo. Right, right. To figure out whatever you're trying
to figure out. Yeah, better. It's it comes to you. I think, in my opinion,
it comes to you when you have that time with yourself. Yeah, I a lot of things.
I'm a loner, so I do enjoy my own company and venturing out, you know,
doing things locally. You know, like I said, getting lunch on my own, getting coffee, you know,
just venturing out. I usually won't venture out at night. For me, it's mostly during the day.
Like I really I wouldn't take myself out to dinner. I don't know. I'm not there yet. I've done
that. You've done it. Yeah. It felt awkward. Yeah. It really felt awkward. You're like,
what do I do with myself? Right? Do I look around? Do I look down? Where do I look? Let me read the
menu for like an hour. Yeah. It was definitely awkward. It's a difference,
right? Yeah. Going to lunch by yourself is very different than going out to dinner. Well,
because lunch, for the most part, you're usually in a... fast-paced place right and it's there's a
lot of people and a lot of noise or whatever yeah if you go to a restaurant where candlelight or
whatever it's low it's dim and you're alone and you're by yourself people tend to look at you a
little weird I haven't done it, so I don't know. Oh, she got stood up. Yeah. That's like that.
They look at you with these like, oh, man. Yeah. But I did it. He didn't show up.
It was weird. It was weird because it's like, what do you. Right. You don't. Like, where do I look?
Where do you look? Yeah. That's what I would be like. And I didn't want. obviously you can be on
your phone the whole time. Yeah. But I didn't want to touch my phone. Right. Like my thing was
like, okay, I'm not going to get on my phone. I'm just going to sit here and I'm going to enjoy
this meal. Yeah. And I did. And I, and I, I did, I felt awkward. Yeah.
But I did it. I would do it again, but it, it, it does feel awkward. It gets some getting used to
it. Yeah. It does get some getting used to it. But yeah, I mean, now it's just like more, you know,
like I said, more during the daytime thing. More, you know, I take those walks alone.
You know, I enjoy that alone time with myself. You know, I don't feel like lonely or anything like
that. I take in those moments when I am alone, you know. I am getting used to it again,
too, because, you know, I've always been with my kids. Now it's more I'm doing things, I'm alone
again. But it's okay. You're comfortable with it? I'm getting comfortable with it, yeah. You know,
sometimes, yeah. Of course, like I said, when the sun goes down, then I'm like, I'm going home.
At night, not so much. I'm a big scary cat, I'm telling you. Oh, well,
yeah. It wouldn't work for you then if you're scared of everything. Yeah. No, traveling,
yeah. Like if I'm traveling far, you know. Well, for people that want to start doing that on their
own, I guess it would be better to start during the day. Yeah. Starting with the coffee shops or.
Yeah, for sure. Well, that's what I read too. Like if you plan to get to the point where you want
to travel. and, you know, you've never done it before, then, yeah, you definitely have to start
small, you know, and just that's basically what I'm saying is the coffee shops,
you know, maybe lunch, your morning walk, and eventually get comfortable with having dinner by
yourself, concert, a movie, you know, I guess they call those like more high energy places.
I don't think those are bad, though. I think people would probably be more comfortable going to a
concert and the movies by themselves. Because you're not... No one's looking at you.
Not like dinner. No one's staring at you. I guess so. Whereas when you're going to dinner by
yourself, everybody's like, oh. You know, it's more intimate, I guess. Yeah. Those other things are
loud and distracting. So I think that would probably be easier to do.
Are you really? I mean, I've gone to the movies alone. I don't see that to me.
It didn't seem scary and nothing at all. Yeah, like I was fine. A concert,
I've never done it. I don't know. I guess I would treat it like the movies. I could probably do it.
I probably would because if it's my favorite artist or whatever. Yeah, but I've never done it.
No, me either. I've never done the dinner thing. I'm not one to do concerts in general. In general,
right. So, yeah. But, I mean, if you want to do solo traveling, you should know that women now make
up approximately 75% to 85% of solo travelers globally.
Yeah. And this is not people that are going on business trips. Right.
This is, like, just traveling on vacation. Yeah. Which is a big amount.
That's, yeah, it is a big amount. Yeah. According to the travel surveys, 87% of women say they
travel solo for freedom and flexibility, while 78% say they do it for self-care and personal
wellness. So solo travel is especially growing among women over 40 and even women over 65,
showing that independence isn't just a younger generation trend anymore,
which I think is amazing. I do too. I'm actually... Thinking of planning a solo trip.
Yeah. My husband doesn't know yet.
We haven't broke the news to him yet. If he's listening right now.
You know, because there's a trip that I want to do that he says he's down for. Okay. But I don't,
I don't know if he's really, if he's, if it's something he really wants to do. If he, yeah.
Like, is he just going because, you know, just to kind of go with you or is he.
Because it seems like this is something important to you. Yeah. Is he sharing the same feeling
about how you feel about the trip? Right. Are you guys in tune? If he's not,
then bye, Felicia. Yeah. You know why? Because what might happen is you're going to be on your trip
and you're going to be mentally in that headspace where you're accomplishing something you want to
do. Right. And he's like, I'm tired. Let's take a rest. Let's take a rest. Let's go.
Why do we got to do that? Why do we got to do that? Yeah, exactly. Right. So if that's what I'm
going to come across, I don't want it. But, you know, it's something that we have to talk about.
Yeah. But I wouldn't mind if he's really like, you want to go alone?
Okay. Okay. I don't want to do it. Like, if he's, to be honest, I don't want to do it. Okay,
then I'm going to go alone. And I don't got a problem with that. Because it's something I want to
say slightly spiritual too. Okay. So I want to be able to enjoy that part of it.
Right. That sounds amazing. Without trying to cater. Cater. Yeah. You know,
but we'll see. But I wouldn't mind doing it. And these numbers give me some confidence that I'd be
able to do it. Because, you know, people, I guess, are tired of waiting for that perfect timing.
And I guess that's why they're doing this. They're waiting. Yeah, they were tired of waiting for
the perfect timing, tired of waiting on people to. Right, because there's a lot of people that want
to travel, but if they're married and their spouse don't like to do it or don't want to do it.
They don't. They don't travel. Or they do, but maybe not as far as they would like to go or venture
out into some areas where they would like to go because of it. Yeah. I mean,
it could be being that it's such a large number of people that are doing it. It might encourage you
to start doing it for yourself. Right. Right. I mean, for that, I mean,
for me, what I love is the self-care and personal wellness part of it. Yeah. And even if you're
not married, I mean, I know there's people, again, they're just tired of waiting for a friend to go
with them or sometimes it's. more about the financial part of it where you can go and they can't,
a friend of yours. Right. So women are stepping up, being brave enough to go and travel on their
own, which I feel like is very empowering and I love to see it. I love these numbers. And you know,
they also have, so maybe you don't want to travel alone, but you're willing to travel with
strangers. Yeah. They have groups. Right. They do have group trips that you can take.
Single women can come together. You all want to see Costa Rica. Yeah. They have a group of people
that are willing to go. Travel together. And you can travel with a group of people. Or if you don't
travel with a group of people, I mean, there are things, let's say you go there, there are,
you know, like, let's say group classes that you could take with. You know, if you go to Europe or
if you go to Italy and those pasta making classes, you meet people in those classes. You know, you
do like group activities with if you're not traveling with anybody. Those are good to do as well.
They do. They have those. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good idea. I think, too. Well, I think that also
there are safety. Concerns as well with the whole traveling. I mean, for me, that's how I that's
the first thing that pops in my mind. It's like, you know, like, oh, you know, you're a woman and
I'm like, I'm scared. Yeah. What do you think are some of the things that that we can do to
overcome some of these those fears? I think you just like trusting. Well,
obviously, you're going to do your due diligence. Right. You do. You're going to choose a place
that is not violent. It's not in the middle of a war, you know,
and stay in areas that are tourist. Right. Like if you're by yourself and you're not comfortable,
you're not going to venture off into unknown territory. Yeah. Right. You would definitely do your
research. Use tour guides. Those are great. Like you said,
take those classes with people. With the groups. But stay in the main tourist areas.
Yeah. You know, for the most part, everyone's safe. If you decide to go off,
then I would do that in like a tour guide setting. Take a day trip to a different area or whatever
with people. That would kind of get you comfortable with traveling. And then as you start to get
comfortable, you start to learn the hacks and the tricks and all that stuff. Then you can plan your
stuff on your own and go wherever you want. But I think for a first-timer, If let's say you want
to travel to Spain, you start in something somewhere that's popular where a lot of tourists go.
And it's and you know, it's safe. You know, you check your research. They don't have a lot of crime
going on. I would say wherever you want to travel, look up their news, their local news.
What about their laws, too? Yeah, you definitely got to learn the laws. Yeah, because you don't
want to be arrested in like Dubai. Yeah. No. You do not for wearing a skimpy laptop or something.
I didn't know it's not going to work. Exactly. Like I know there's traveling in certain countries
in Europe. It is the law for you. For me, like I would think I'm going to store my stuff in a safe.
Yeah. Right. So no one can steal it. But in a lot of these countries, it's the law for you to
travel with your passport on your person. Mm-hmm. And not a lot of people know that.
Okay. So they store it away thinking, oh, you know. Right, I'm going to keep it safe. Keep it safe.
But they don't have it. But if you get stopped and you don't have your ID, like your Florida
driver's license is not going to. It's not going to help you. Yeah. You need your passport. Right.
So that's one thing. And then obviously you got to make sure you carry it in a way that it can't
get stolen. But yeah, definitely know the laws. Yeah.
Especially, like, if you like recreational stuff. Right. You got to know where you can and can't do
it. Exactly. But knowing the laws is key, too. And getting to know the city that you're or the
place that you're trying to visit. Because I know, and social media is huge,
right? YouTube. There are people that have, yeah, they make videos on itineraries,
like, from beginning to end. Yeah. And you could just follow one of those videos from beginning to
end, and that's your trip. Yeah. They give you all the details. All the details.
A lot of them, too, tell you what the scams are. Right. To look out for these scams so that you're
protected. So, yeah, I think researching is huge. Yeah. For you to be able to feel safe where
you're going. I think that's awesome. I think that's so brave. It just sounds so liberating.
Yeah. To be able to get up and go travel on your own. So I applaud women who do it.
I do too. I do too. Because that's another way of living.
Reconnecting with yourself. Reconnecting with yourself. Living your life the way you want,
you know. Right. Without anyone telling you what you can and can't do. It reminds me of the movie
Eat, Pray, Love. I would have loved to be able to do that.
If I was single when that movie came out, girl, I would have been like,
bye. I don't know if I would have went to India. Yeah. But I would have been like,
bye. Exactly. Yeah. I'm doing that. Because, you know, growing up, that was not a thing for me.
Like traveling like that was not in my future. Like I didn't see it.
Okay. I wasn't looking for it. When I watched that, I was like, oh, no, I could do that. I want to
do that. Definitely. But yeah, to be able to do something like that,
that's crazy. Yeah. That takes a lot of courage. Definitely.
There was an actress talking about how she was living in Asia, somewhere in Asia,
right? It might have been Korea or... Something like that. But she was there for six months because
she was filming. And she couldn't really travel back to the U.S.
It was just way too much. But she went off and ventured. She ventured out. And she stayed in a
monk, a monastery, a monk monastery. Like she stayed there for like a weekend. Wow.
She said it was like the best thing ever. I can imagine it. Could you imagine like living with,
you know, they don't talk. I would love that. You really got to like, yeah,
you deep dive in your soul. Like that's some deep soul searching. And yeah,
I was like, man, that would be nice. That would be pretty cool. Just to be able to spend one night
in there just to see what it's like. Right. Because that's a whole nother level of.
Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Living. They can't talk. But if you stay there,
yeah, you can't talk to them. They can't talk to you. How do you communicate? I don't know.
That's when they did that walk in Georgia and people were like giving them stuff and they're just
like, they can't say thank you. They don't say, I mean, I think someone was talking to the news or
why they were doing it. But when they're doing it, it's like just peace.
Yeah. Quiet. That's pretty neat. That's prioritizing peace differently. Oh,
yeah. That right there. That's another level right there. I think what all this really comes down
to, like with what we've talked about, the tiny living, the solo dating,
solo travel, protecting your peace is people realizing they actually have a choice on how they live
their life now. They're living their life on their terms, right?
Yeah. Reclaiming their independence, you know, not needing validation to enjoy life.
Right. And it takes away that. pressure of trying to keep up with everything because you kind of
just, you know, you're living intentionally. You're not about that hustle anymore.
You don't need anybody to validate anything, which I find very like,
you know, liberating. People today are choosing the, like we were talking about, they're choosing
slower lifestyles. They're living off the grid, maybe in nature. Valuing freedom and flexibility.
Right. And I think because, you know, I'm getting older, I admire all of that. And I try to
implement that in my life every day, you know, just the slow mornings, the cup of coffee where, you know, I kind of meditate, you know, just have that moment to myself, the morning walks, you know, and you're, you said yourself, you're trying to declutter down, you know, down.
Besides the materials you have going on in your house, maybe one day we'll see you living in a tiny home With my cow. With my chickens. Chickens and the cow. I mean,
who knows, right? Who knows? Maybe. Maybe. I don't know. We'll see what happens with me.
I always tell my daughter that I'll be living somewhere in Italy or Greece or something. I'm like, when you move out, you're going to find me over there. She's like, Mom. You're not going anywhere. I'm like, we'll see.
I wish. That's my dream to be. I love to watch the videos because these women,
these post videos, they live in Italy. They work remote. They're making American dollars and they live out there and they live well. Yeah. And I'm like, OK, I need to find a remote job. I need I need one of those jobs. I need one of those jobs. And then, you know, save up. Maybe I'll find myself over there one day. I would be, what do they call it? I should just start learning how to speak Italian now. I would be an Italian snowbird. Yes.
Right. So go over there for the spring and the summer and when it's winter, come to Florida. Yeah. There you go. That's a good plan, Monica. We'll see where we end up in the future. We shall see. We got planned.
So today's conversation really shows how much people are redefining what happiness and success looks like. Maybe it's not about having the biggest house, the busiest schedule, or constantly proving something to everyone else. Maybe it's about creating a life that actually feels peaceful, intentional, and fulfilling to you. Whether that looks like living tiny, taking yourself out on solo dates, booking that trip alone. or simply learning how to enjoy your own company a little more, there's something really powerful about choosing yourself and protecting your peace. And honestly, maybe peace really is the new luxury. Thank you for hanging out with us today on Red Lips Real Talk. If this episode resonates with you, please don't forget to rate, review, and share it with someone who's entering their self-care. Soft Life Solo Adventure Era.  Hasta la próxima.
Thank you for listening. Make sure to subscribe to our show so you don't miss an episode. We will be dropping an episode every two weeks. Oh yeah. No, like seriously. Subscribe now. So just chill. To the next episode. Follow us on Insta and TikTok.